The Mad Clown and the rabbit hole
by Lupe C
Summary: When Alice saw him, grinning like a maniac, covered in paint, she thought this was all a mad dream. How could this be real? He was dead, she had buried him years ago. What will she do when she discovers the man she has mourned has actually survived to become a monster? One thing is sure, he won't let her runaway again. JokerxOC
1. Chapter 1

Alice watched him through the bedroom's window, as he arrived enveloped in an orange glow that turned darker by the minute, as the sun slowly died. She frowned as she saw red stains in his shirt and what she thought was a black eye in his face. How much time would this last?

She lost sight of him when he entered the orphanage. He had been gone a whole day, but now he finally returned home. If such a place could be called 'home'. It was an old, deteriorated grey building, with almost a hundred other kids like them, sad and abandoned. It was a cold place to grow up in, the sisters that run it weren´t especially cruel, just detached and strict. They fed you what they could get, they gave you something to wear and a bed. That was their job and they did it well, they just never provided much love and they were harsh when they found someone misbehaving. They would put you in what the older kids called 'solitary', just like in prison. They had a special room for that, in the basement, where you couldn't hear a single word from upstairs, not one kid shouting or singing, and you could hardly see anything. The place was damp , cold and empty, except for a single bed with an old mattress, and they used to leave you there the whole night, without dinner. That´s where Jack used to spend his night's as a kid. That was before they started being afraid of him, before he became too much to handle.

"What are you, uh, daydreaming about, love?"

She hadn't heard him opening the door, so his voice took her by surprise and she almost stumbled as she turned around. There stood Jack, towering over her, with his dark eyes digging into her. She had been right, it _was_ a black eye, and it looked painful. She frowned at him and pushed him aside to grab a purple shirt that was tossed on the floor. With one swift movement she threw it in his face.

"Put this on, what if someone sees you? Is that even your blood?" She tried to keep her voice down and calm, she didn't want him to see how much his absence affected her. "You should get some ice for that eye, by the way."

"As if anybody in this place cares about a bloody shirt. It's the Narrows, you see blood as soon as you've stepped outside your doorway," he said casually, slowly licking his bloodied knuckles. He reminded Alice of a cat she'd seen that very morning, licking it's paws with indifference after killing a bird and leaving it dead on the grass.

"Is that your blood or is it somebody else's?" she asked again.

"Probably both," he said with a wicked grin. "What are you doing in my room by the way? Did you miss me?"

He put on that charming smile that he knew she loved. But Alice wasn't about to let him distract her, she knew his tactics too well. She was going to make him listen this time. It wasn't the first time she stood by his window for an entire day, waiting desperately to have any news from him. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she knew where he went at night, the things he did and the risks he took.

"You were gone since yesterday, Jack, I was worried. I kept thinking that you weren't coming back. You have to stop doing this," she said as she sighed in frustration. "Do you think those mobsters would care if you died in one of the jobs they sent you to? They would have you killed just for fun. It isn't worth it, we don't need them," she said, looking at him with angry but tired eyes.

She sat down on his bed and hid her face in her hands, she didn't like looking this weak and helpless. Almost immediately, she felt the mattress dip by her side under his weight. She slowly relaxed as his fingers brushed through her cheek. The lack of sleep was starting to get to her. Alice had gotten almost no sleep at all last night, because she couldn't stop picturing Jack in horrible scenarios. She knew he had gone to meet the Falcone, as he had done almost every night the last couple of months. He had promised her it would only be for a while, him working with the mob and doing their dirty business, that as soon as he saved the money they would runaway. But sometimes that dream seemed too far away for her, as her present looked gloomier each day. Jack started keeping secrets from her, about what kind of jobs he did for the Falcone, about where he'd been. She saw him less and less with each passing day.

"You started this for the money, but sometimes I ask myself if you don't do it just for the rush now," she whispered, so softly it seemed she was talking to herself. "It's like you get off it, the risk and the games you play there. We always used to say that the Narrows wouldn't trap us, Jack, that we would get out of here when we could. But now you're digging yourself deeper and deeper into this place. Some days you come back home and you have this look of disappointment in your eyes, like you'd like to turn around and head back..."

Her words were cut, as Jack grabbed her chin and forced her to look up straight into his eyes. He kissed her gently and she felt her fears evaporating slowly. Then he parted his lips from hers and laughed.

"Alice I love you, but that little head of yours gets trapped in Wonderland sometimes. If there's something I'll never get bored of in this whole rotten world, it's you. Do you think I like to take orders from those dumb greedy Italian mobsters? They can't see anything except money, they don't even understand anything apart from that. Not even what _real_ power is. If they had it, they wouldn't know what to do with it. It's just fun to see them kill each other when I whisper the little word _treason_ in their ears. They just go crazy. They would murder their own family in cold blood if someone just dared to take a single coin of what's theirs. I just want to play a little with them, take my share and get out, honey. I thought that's what you wanted too, to get _out_ of, uh, this place," he said, looking around the room with disgust. He hated this place of abandonment and they old hypocritical hags that ran the place, as much as he loved Alice.

He ran his fingers through her dark short curls. He sometimes felt a pang of guilt, touching her, who was so naive and innocent, with his dirty and bloodied hands. At the same time, it also fascinated him just that, the contrast between those two opposing elements, her white skin and his bloodied fingers. They matched, in a crooked kind of way. Her eyes stared at him, as if she was looking for something in his face, in the purple bruises under his eye, that would unveil the events of last night. She was better off not knowing.

"We don't need the money, I don't want it," she said. "It's bloodied money. I never wanted you to get into this, Jack. Listen, I talked with the manager of the pub down the block, and he said he could consider giving me a job, even though I'm seventeen..."

She saw his eyes darken and she knew the answer before she finished her phrase. They already had talked about this.

" _No_ ," he said, with a harsh tone. "I won't let you serve tables while some fat mongoloid stares at your ass. Besides, love, you, uh, wouldn't make much money anyway, and they're kicking us out of here in just a couple of months, remember? Turning eighteen and all. Why do you think I chose _my_ line of work? You really think we could get out of this place if I had a real job? We would die in the Narrows. You should just finish high school as you're meant to. After all, we all know there's no chance for me to, uh, be a _respectable_ person, so at least one of us can try. I'm rotten Alice, the sisters and teachers weren't wrong after all," he said laughing. "If I had stayed just one more day in that damn school I would have probably burned it to the ground. So just trust me, love, leave Jack to have his fun around Gotham's finest filth, and in a couple of weeks I'll have more money than you've ever dreamed of and we'll leave this dirthole. I have a plan," he said, as he winked an eye at her.

She just stared at him in resignation and disbelief. He was always so careless, nothing seemed to ever worry him.

"The Falcone may be dumb Jack, but they know their business. If you go against their backs, they will find out. Let's just leave, tomorrow, please. This is changing you. What if tomorrow they make you kill someone? An innocent person? Just get out of there."

He smirked. Killing innocent people? There were no people of that kind left in the Narrows anymore. She might be the only one, the only innocent person left in that place, and she loved him, God knows why. He felt pleasure in knowing that. That he owned the last shard of innocence in this decadent and corrupted Gotham, and he was holding it in his bloodied hands.

"I'll quit, in a couple of weeks. You're tired, just relax and get some sleep. Come here."

He laid down completely on the bed, kicked off his shoes and took off the purple shirt she had thrown at him, and held her close.

"I like that color on you. Purple. You should use it more," she whispered in his chest, after a while. Her voice sounded soft and tired, she was beginning to fall asleep. She must have stayed up the whole night, he thought.

With a smile, he answered, "It looks kinda clownish on me, but if you like it."

"Yes, I do... Besides, Jack, you _are_ a clown. Half of the things you say or do are always an act. But I can see right through it." He looked at her, his smile suddenly evaporating. But she had her eyes closed and seemed almost lost in dreams. "I see through you and I love you all the same, Jack."

He heard her as she started to softly snore on her pillow. He couldn't help laughing at the scene, him thinking she might have just started to unveil his monstrous self, while she was just talking in her sleep. But maybe there was some truth behind her words, maybe she did suspected the dark thoughts that lingered in his mind. How much could he show her without scaring her away, he wondered. What if she knew he had already killed, more than once, without much remorse. Could she see that in his face too?

A particularly loud snore broke his train of thought and he laughed again, pulling her closer and deciding to join her in her sleep. He had a big day tomorrow, the day when he would put in motion his orchestrated plan. The Falcone's wouldn't see what was coming. This bloody clown would destroy their empire, bit by bit.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I'm back with the second chapter. I'll try to make a weekly update of the story, to keep it alive. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed, favorited or followed! This chapter is a little longer than the last one, as I tried to wrap up the Joker's backstory and his past with Alice. The next one will take place a little later in time and will be more linked to the movie we know. Please review and tell me if you like it, hate it (hopefully not), or if you find any mistakes (English isn't my first language). Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

It was almost midday when she finally woke up. There were no signs of Jack, he had already left, God knows where. Alice got up with a sigh and went to her bedroom. The sisters would give her hell if they found her in Jack's room again. She could smell lunch being cooked down in the kitchen and hear Sister Adele's familiar whistling. Alice couldn't believe she had slept so much, even though she really needed it. The last couple of months had really taken a toll on her. She missed the days where her biggest fears would be being forced to confront the sisters' anger or not knowing if she would get a good grade. Now her nightmares consisted of lonely windows, empty streets and the eco of Jack's screams. Sometimes they would slightly change, and it would be the sound of unfamiliar screams and Jack's laughter.

Her stomach growled. She had missed breakfast and knew she wouldn't get anything to eat until lunch was ready, so she settled for anything edible she could find. Her roommate had already left, so she didn't run into her when she opened the door. It was strange having a room all to yourself in the orphanage, there could be up to six kids sharing one, usually the smaller ones. Once you got older you had certain privileges. Jack was the only one that had a room all to himself. That was why she usually spent her time there, even when he wasn't around. He used to have a roommate not so long ago, but he had turned eighteen, the cursed age, and was forced to leave. Those were the only cases were there was some kind of rotation in the ownerships of each room. When someone left, the remaining kids fought to move out of the overpopulated rooms into the more private ones. Funnily enough, no one had asked for this bed; the idea of being Jack's roommate was _that_ appealing. Alice knew he had a tendency to scowl at anyone who came near him and he always had that dark air around him, so she didn't blame them. Although she would have gladly taken that place for herself.

While she rummaged through her room, looking for a cookie, an apple, any kind of forgotten food, she kept thinking about it: Jack's dark aura, the reason everyone stayed away from him. It was as if she could see it, understand it, but was immune to it. She didn't know if it was lack of common sense, or her twisted taste in people, but she had always been fascinated by him. She was already beyond help. It was probably because she had known him before anyone else did, or rather, she knew him and _nobody_ else did. The people that lived there had never met that little boy that cowered at anyone's touch when he first got there. They hadn't seen the distrust and abandonment in his dark eyes.

When he arrived he was just a little nine year old boy, covered in bruises, who didn't speak at all the first days. It took her weeks to make him open up to her, to make him mutter even a single word. And even then, he never wanted to talk about it, what had happened before he got there. But he had allowed her to keep him company all those years spent in that forgotten orphanage, buried in the Narrows. And very slowly he had started to open up his hands. Those hands that were wounded up so tightly in his little fists before, that seemed like a threat to anyone that dared come near him, he had offered them to her. Since that day, she knew she couldn't let go of them. She knew that if she ever did, they would never open up to anyone anymore. Jack would be forever alone, with no hands to offer to anyone else.

When they were both kids, the same age, she saw how he got laughed at repeatedly by the bigger kids for his small size and quiet attitude. She had suffered with him, as she couldn't make them stop. She had also watched him grow up and get his revenge, on every single one of them. Those were the days when a dark force awakened in him, a fury and determination that Alice had never seen in him before, or maybe just not in the light. Whenever Alice told him there was no use in hurting them like they had hurt him, he just looked at her with those dark, condescending eyes. Like she was a kid and didn't know the way the world worked, but _he_ did. And sometimes she believed him. Because despite Alice's attempts to protect him and show him some warmth in that cold place, those eyes had stopped being those of a child at a very young age. Maybe before he even got there. After all, she never really knew _what_ he had seen and what he had been through in the past. But he still trusted her and that made her feel proud, because she was the only one allowed in that strange fantastic realm that was Jack. His dark and deep mind made everybody else seem dull and shallow in comparison. He was like stepping into really dark waters, without knowing how deep they were or what laid underneath, and that only captivated her more, even though it could scare her sometimes.

Alice smiled as she found a candy bar stuck under her bed, and was proud of herself for having a secret stash ready for times like this. But her smile quickly fell, because her hand also bumped against something else. She felt the hard outline of a familiar wooden box, and her hand moved on her own and pulled it out into sight.

There it was, staring bluntly at her in the morning light, the only secret she had kept from Jack. She slowly opened it and grabbed the letters held inside, wrinkled from all the times she had opened them and read them. All with the same handwriting and the same signature: _Ruth_. She picked one up and reread its first lines:

 _Dear Alice,_

 _I still look at your picture every day, it gives me comfort. I can't thank the sisters enough, because they've allowed me to see your face, my sweet Alice. The picture they sent me is worn out and I suppose it's rather old, you look like you're thirteen and they told me you're almost eighteen now. You don't know how much happiness it would give this old woman to see her grandchild for the first time. You have your dad's eyes, let him rest in peace. Please, if you could just forgive me for this years of absence, for not being there with all you've been through. If you reconsider my offer, just tell me and I'll make sure to cover all the expenses for the transport. I really want to see you. If you could just write back..._

She stopped reading, it hurt her. Her fingers calmly put away the letter with the rest of them and returned the box to its place under her bed. Jack couldn't see this. She knew what he would see it like: treason.

Alice had started receiving this letters a couple of months before. At first she thought it was a trick, her unknown grandma suddenly appearing in her life, wanting her to come live with her. It all sounded so unrealistic, like a child's fairytale, and she was already old enough for that. Since her parents died in a car crash when she was little, she knew the harsh truth: she was alone and had to survive that way. They told her they had been a couple of junkies, with no friends or family to care much about them. No one would come looking for her, and that could be said for almost all the other kids in this place. She was alone, except for Jack. They would protect each other, as nobody else would. But now this... this just confused her. She didn't know this woman, so she didn't know if she should believe her. She said she hadn't known about Alice existence, that she had been out of touch with her son and she had just found out he was dead and that she had a daughter. She claimed she wanted to make up for her absence, but it was too late for that. Alice was afraid to write back, to get Ruth's hopes up or even her own. Besides, Jack wouldn't forgive her. They were supposed to be alone together in this.

Alice was startled when she heard a sudden knock on her door. Her roommate was calling her for lunch. She got up and tried to lock her fears inside that box. She was ok, they both were. Just a few more weeks and they would leave all this trouble behind. What could go wrong?

* * *

When she arrived to the dining room she was surprised to find him sitting at the corner of the table. Jack usually never spent time near the other kids, he just went to his room and ate there. He must have been waiting for her. Alice sat down next to him, there were plenty of seats to choose from, and Jack looked up from his book to smile at her.

" _Someone_ decided to sleep in this morning, huh?"

He hung an arm loosely around her shoulders and put his book down, while Alice started eating what she had grabbed from the kitchen.

"You don't want anything to eat?"

"Already had some, honey. Besides I'm kind of in a, uh, _rush_. Soo many places to go and soo little time."

He kept looking at his clock and Alice eyed him suspiciously.

"What are you up to now?"

"Something... _big._ Remember this day Lis, 'cause it will be the first of the last days of life as you know it," he said, and laughed at his weird phrasing. "I'm getting things ready for us to leave with a _bang_ , something for the Narrows to remember us by."

"What are you talking about...?"

"You'll see. Just don't wait up for me tonight, try to get some sleep for a change. I will spend a couple of nights down at Falcone's headquarters. But start packing, because when I get back we're leaving this place."

Alice nodded in silence. What could she do? She knew she couldn't stop whatever Jack was planning, she could never convince him to play it safe. She was lost in her worried thoughts, so it took her by surprise when she felt Jack's hands pressing gently on her neck. They were gone as soon as they came.

"Do you like it?"

Alice didn't understand what he was talking about, until she traced her neck with her own hand. He had placed a necklace there, a delicate silver chain with a round pendant made of onyx. As she examined it, she noticed a small "J" engraved in the back.

"Something for you to remember me these days, so you don't miss me so much. Besides I like having my signature on you," he said with a wink.

Alice smiled at him. It was rare for Jack to do these things, he wasn't the corny and romantic kind of guy. But on the other hand, she wasn't either. She was about to thank him, but she got distracted by a pair of eyes staring straight at her behind Jack's back. There, on the other side of the table, was a familiar and scrawny little body. Danny. He was looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, almost repulsion. She was taken aback by that last quality in them, but she soon understood that she wasn't the receiver of that particular look. It was Jack he was looking at. He seemed lost in great concentration, looking at him like he knew something about him. A secret. Alice wanted to go near him, grab him and demand that he told her the meaning of that look. After all, if someone here knew what Jack was up to at night, it was Danny.

Danny was the only other kid in the orphanage that was involved with the mob, just like Jack. He was a quiet kid, he usually kept to himself, so she knew little about him besides that. Alice still couldn't picture him working for Falcone, he didn't struck her as the violent type. And even though she wanted to say the same for Jack, she knew his case was less surprising. But Danny seemed harmless when you looked at him, just a little bit lonely. She had asked Jack about him, but he seemed to never have shown any interest in knowing more about the boy who shared his same roof and job. _"Do you think gang members are all buddies who share their feelings and act like friends? The less you care about your partners, the better, because they might end up dead real quick. You just have to know one thing, who you can trust. And the answer is simple: nobody"_. Danny must have felt the same, because in the orphanage he tried to stay as far away as he could from Jack.

But not today. Today he had that look in his face, and he dared to take the risk of Jack noticing him staring. What was eating him up inside?

"So... You _didn't_ like it. That's ok, I can take it back I guess. Although it will be kind of difficult..."

Alice blushed in embarrassment. She had let her mind get the best out of her again _._ She looked back at Jack apologetically. He was staring at the wall, licking his lips with his tong, a nervous tick she knew he had when feeling nervous or overly excited.

"I'm sorry for spacing out. I love it. It's perfect," she said, as she smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

"That's, uh, the reaction I was looking for," he said, as he grabbed her face in his hands and deepened the kiss.

She loved his kisses, they always had that mixture of harshness and gentleness that was Jack, and they were always demanding, eager for more. But today she had to pull away a little, panting. Jack had no regard for where they were or for the fact they were not alone. She knew this eagerness had something to do with his plans for the next couple of days. Was he afraid? Maybe behind all that confidence, he also felt her doubts, her fears. But he would never show them, not even to her.

"Time to go, Lis. I'll be back before you know it," he said, with a confident smile.

As she saw him leave the room, her eyes wondered back to Danny's seat, searching for his eyes again. But they were nowhere to be found. He had already left.

* * *

"What should we do about him boss?"

The goon walked slowly to the twitching body that laid on the street, surrounded by blood. You could hear a gurgling noise coming from it that set everyone off. Nobody wanted to stay around it much longer.

"Let him bleed to death. That's what the punk deserves for wanting to play with the big leagues," said Carmine Falcone, as he spit his cigarette to the ground and crushed it with his shoe. "I gotta give it to the kid, though, he had guts. Trying to play me _and_ my right hand man at the same time, making him think about betraying me... He's got one smart mouth."

He laughed at his own words.

"Kind of poetic, huh guys? One smart _mouth_ hahaha."

A few short laughs could be heard, mostly to suck up to their boss, but no one really thought the scene they had in front of them was very poetic, or funny. Specially Danny. He had seen this coming, but he still wasn't prepared for the ruthlessness of it all. That guy, laying there in a pool of his own blood, his mouth brutally opened to proportions that weren't human at all. And he had just seen him at lunch, sitting a few meters away from him. He could have warned him, why didn't he?

In a small part he thought he deserved it, he was just a kid and he still dared to try and bring down Falcone's whole gang. It couldn't be done so simply as that, he knew there would be a lot of risks. On the other hand, he thought about all the time _he_ had spent working there, doing any job they asked him to do, and still Danny went completely unnoticed, he was a simple bell boy. But not Jack. The way he had captured everyone's eyes, the way they listened to what he said, even though he had joined up later than him, made him boil with resentment and envy. And Jack still got to go home and play 'happy family' with that girl at the orphanage. Nobody could have it all so easy.

But despite his lack of grief, Danny had to hide his tremors at the extreme way of punishment he had received. He couldn't help feeling revolted, looking at the grim Glasgow smile that decorated Jack's face.

"Well, nothing left to do here. No one will come looking for the boy, we will make sure of that. Hey, Tony! Find out where he lived, whoever knew him and cared enough about him to start asking questions. Make sure they meet the same fate as him, I don't like loose threads."

Danny felt he was going to throw up right then and there, as he saw Jack's dying body starting to tremble. The gurgling noise that could be heard before, coming from his mouth, only got louder and more distinguishable. Like he was trying to form words.

"What was that, Jackie boy? You don't like that idea? Does it bother you to know that I will make sure that every single person you love suffers a long and painful death? I usually don't bother so much with those details, but you deserve the attention, going behind my back like that. Remember that, while you rot in this alley," Falcone said, as he kicked Jack's body, earning a distorted grunt in response.

He couldn't take it, Danny had to look away. As they left that dark and dirty alley behind, along with Jack's last tortured cries, his mind run at full speed. He had to tell someone, he had to warn them. They wouldn't take long to find out everything there was to know about Jack and he knew where they would go. The orphanage.

* * *

There she was, at the window again. She had told herself she was only in Jack's room because she needed some peace and quiet, but she knew it was a lie. He had told her to wait, so she waited, even though it was the thing she hated to do the most. She caressed her necklace with longing. It had been already three days, and she had no news of him. But he had told her to wait. She looked again through the window and into the scene that played again and again in her nightmares. An empty road, no one coming to get her.

But suddenly, through the darkness that surrounded the street, she saw a shadow emerge. A lonely figure walking towards the buildings door. He had come back, he really did! She smiled and jumped up from excitement. And in her sudden happiness, failed to notice the unfamiliarity of it all, the different way those feet moved, the difference in height. She just wanted Jack back. She raced to the bed, sitting down and looking straight to the door. It wasn't until it opened, that she abandoned her hopes, her smile evaporating into a thin line, her brows furrowing.

Danny came up to her quickly, closing the door without a second thought. He looked really troubled and desperate, so Alice stayed quiet for a minute, instead of spitting out her impatient question about _what_ he was doing there. She suddenly remembered that day, before Jack left, and Danny's strange stares. What was going on? Something told her the thoughts that were troubling him concerned the same person that troubled her own.

"What happened to Jack?" she asked abruptly. "Tell me."

Danny was at a loss then, as if he had been caught. Oh God, she thought, please let him be ok.

"Come on! Tell me!"

He slowly kneeled in front of her and spoke with a soft voice. It must have been the first time she heard him speak to her.

"He's gone Alice. Falcone killed him, tonight."

Danny's lips kept moving after that, and she could hear words coming out of them, but after those first sentences nothing else seemed to make sense to her. She just stared at him, unmoving, while he rambled. It seemed he was talking more to himself than to her.

"He tried to stir up a riot against him. Well, actually, he convinced Lemy, his right hand man, to do it. Which was worse I guess, Falcone was really fond of Lemy. And then he spread the rumor of Lemy's mutiny, to let Falcone know something was going on. Jack made Falcone believe he wasn't in it at all, that he was on _his_ side. He played them both, so they would end up killing each other, the crazy idiot. But Falcone eventually caught on to his scheme. After he had dealt with Lemy, he wanted his revenge on Jack. What I still don't get is _why._ Why would Jack go through all this? Was it a distraction to steal their money? Did he think the last man standing would give him his favor? Or did he not care about anything at all? It doesn't make sense..."

Danny looked up for the first time since he started talking and, seeing Alice's catatonic state, took some pity on her. Tears had already started falling silently down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Alice. I really am. But there's nothing you can do about it. What you _can_ do is save yourself."

He grabbed her crying body by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. She felt it laughable. Why would she want to think about saving herself, she thought, if there was already something dead inside her?

"You've got to listen to me and listen good. They will come after you. They will look for anyone tied to Jack, and how long do you think it will take them to get to you? You've got to run, _now._ Get out of this place, as far away as you can. I won't be sticking around much longer either, even I'm not safe, and only because we live under the same roof. They could consider me a liability and just kill me to be sure. No one's safe from Falcone."

She could hear the panic in his voice, but her mind was empty. She couldn't find it in her to care about his fate or feel sorry about him, her mind was being torn apart. She must have been dreaming, because in this absurd world, Jack was dead. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Try to take care of yourself. You're a strong person, you can pull through this and live."

Danny graved her hands in his for a moment and gave them a quick squeeze. Then he stood up and after a last concerned glance, left the room, leaving her alone. She knew she would never see him again after that moment.

She didn't know how long she sat there on Jack's bed, crying her heart out. She felt it had been hours, days, but it may have been just a few minutes. When she found she had no more tears left in her, or simply not enough strength to keep crying them, she stood up and wiped her face. She couldn't stay there. She couldn't wait there for her death. Alice could imagine Jack telling her to stop crying and save her ass. And she _did_ want to live. She was supposed to be just starting with this stupid life. It wouldn't end here, like this.

With a last glance at Jack's room, she closed the door to that realm forever. She went to her room, thankful for not running into anyone on her way, and found her roommate already asleep when she got there. She kneeled down by her bed and grabbed the wooden box, swallowing her guilt as Jack's image appeared again in her mind. All their plans, all their dreams, destroyed so quickly. Biting back her cries, she took one of the letters out. There, engraved on the envelope, was an address.

She would survive this.

* * *

Somewhere deep in the Narrows, Jack opened his eyes. His mouth was on fire and he could hardly move his body from all the bruises. Why was he still alive?

He was laying on a couch, but he didn't recognize the room. Slowly, he started to remember flashes of what happened. Someone had found him in the alley and tried to get him to a hospital, but Jack would have none of it. He still had enough life in him to make that point clear, even if he could hardly speak. If he went to the hospital, Falcone would find him, it would be the same as if he had let him bleed to death there. His anonymous savior had given him a strange look. Jack knew he already regretted getting into all that situation, but his conscience wouldn't let him leave him there to his faith. _I'm a vet_ , he had said, hesitant, _I can try to parch you up in some way, to stop the blood flowing_. He had told him it was a long shot and Jack knew it. He had already lost a lot of blood, he could hardly stay awake in the end, when the good Samaritan succeeded in getting him to his apartment, just a block away. His unconsciousness came in hand, as the doc had no anesthesia and a trembling hand, that made the process of stitching him up quite a difficult one. The last thing he remembered was the doc -he didn't really know his name- stitching him up with a weak pulse, his face pale and sweaty, while he prayed he didn't end up with a corpse in his couch.

So that was where he was now. Jack found he could somehow move his body, enough to stand up painfully and dare to take some steps. He felt his mouth so _dry_ , he needed something to drink desperately. He went to the bathroom, opened the sink and gulped down some water. He almost screamed. It burned him like hell when the water so much as graced his face. If he felt his mouth was on fire before, it was _nothing_ compared to this. But worse than the pain, so much worse, was when he looked up into the mirror. There was a monster staring at him from the other side. A gruesome kind of clown, with red scars marring his pale face like a grim smile. He saw him raise his hands to his swollen cheeks, with horror in his eyes and a silent scream. What had the doctor done? What had he turned him into?

The mirror shattered in a hundred pieces, and he felt blood running down his fist. _Now_ he understood why the house looked so abandoned, why he woke up still there, alone. _Not even the doctor could stand the sight of him_ , he had ran away.

An earsplitting and tortured shout echoed through the apartment.

Another memory suddenly crossed his mind, barely dragging him up to his senses again. He tensed up anxiously as he remember Falcone's last words. He had to get to Alice, he had to take her somewhere safe. How many days had he spent sleeping there? A day, a week? He turned on the TV, the news channel was on. _Three days_. He had been out for three days, he thought franticly. He had to run and get her _now._ But his feet went nowhere.

He stood there, frozen to the ground. There, on the TV, was the footage of an old familiar building. It was being consumed by flames. The journalists were saying something about some breaking news, the biggest tragedy of the last years. A whole orphanage burned to the ground, no survivors. Everyone inside had been caught by the fire in their sleep, the doors somehow were locked and no one could get out. Jack just couldn't stop looking at the screen. His head felt like it would explode, like something inside him was bursting to come out.

He opened his mouth and waited for it, waited for some imminent reaction.

What came out was a long piercing laughter, that made his whole body convulse. He fell down to the floor and kept laughing, and laughing and laughing.

Until there was only silence in his mind.

Silence. And the subtle sound of something breaking forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi guys, sorry for the delay! I had final exams, started new classes and got a new job, so things got a little complicated. But I'm still fully commited to this story. I'll try to update a little faster the next chapter, because I already have it in my mind and I'm really dying to write it. This takes place around 7 years after the last chapter. Let me know what you think or if there's something that isn't clear. Thank you so much for the reviews and the support! It really helps as motivation :)

PD: I'm changing the story's summary just a litle bit (I'm only erasing a sentence) because I wrote it before actually writing that scene and it developed a little different that what I originally thought. I hope you don't mind. Enjoy!

* * *

"You won't guess where we're going."

Alice looked at David and saw him playfully smiling at her, arching his eyebrows in a gesture she knew well. She wasn't going to like this.

"Mmm... enlighten me. Where are we going Dave?"

"Ok, but you have to promise not to jump when I tell you," he said, as he sat down on her desk, moving her papers carelessly. He knew that bothered her -she liked to keep her things organized, or tried to at least- but he always did it anyways. He enjoyed getting under her skin like that; he said he found it cute when she frowned at him.

"I can promise I can try..."

"I guess that will have to do," he said, rolling his eyes at her distrust.

She had been dating him for a few months now, much to her surprise. He wasn't her usual type of guy. He was the pretty, outgoing charmer in the office and everybody liked him -good qualities to move up in their business, ones that she clearly lacked. Blond hair, blue eyes, big smile, he was definitely too bright for what she was used to. That's why she didn't pay much attention to him when she started working there, after moving back to Gotham. But he had noticed her. He started saying 'hi' to her every morning, then stopping by her desk at work hours just to chat, and later on, he even went to the length of spending a whole month trying to get her to go on a date with him. When she actually gave him a chance, he managed to charm her as everybody else, and she discovered being with him was like floating on a calm current, that made her body feel light for a change. She could close her eyes and trust him. There were no dark waters or sudden falls with David, as the ones she had had in the past. What he saw in her, on the other hand, she still didn't know. She still found it a little difficult to open up to people, especially in when she first started working there. Maybe it was because it was just after her grandma's funeral -after that, she had run away from that small town and came back again to the big city. Maybe she just wasn't used to the new faces, the new apartment, living by herself. But she thought those were just excuses to hide the real cause of her uneasiness. It was this city, Gotham, and the memories it held. That's why she had had so many doubts about taking this job, and she wouldn't have, if she didn't really need it.

"You know how you always complain about not going anywhere on this job, that Bill never trusts you enough to cover a good story? Here's your shot to work in the field and be on the newspaper tomorrow. What do you say?"

It was hard for her to believe him. She was too used to being stuck there in her desk, editing news written by others or writing the classified ads. She knew being 'friends' with David had its perks, as he was one of Gotham Times star journalists, but she doubted his good intentions would be enough to get Bill, her insufferable boss, to give her a real chance.

"What's the catch?"

"No catch. They already told me I could choose whoever I want to come with me. After all, the invitation is for two."

"Wait, what invitation?"

"To Wayne's penthouse. You have heard about his party, haven't you? It's all over the news... and you write them. I expected more from Gotham Times finest."

Alice scoffed at him.

"So that was the catch. My 'big opportunity' is to cover a party full of stuck up rich people who get together to drink champagne and eat caviar while they discuss how _terrible_ it is that the crimes and decadence of the Narrows are slowly creeping up into their homes. Sounds great."

"Come on, Alice," he said, frustrated but refusing to give up, "I got this invitation for you. Harvey Dent is going to be there, after all, the party is in his honor. Aren't you his biggest fan? We just have to take some pictures, talk to some people, and then you can get to interview Harvey. How does that sound? Besides, I've already asked my sister if I could borrow one of her dresses," he said, winking at her.

The thought of wearing and evening dress only made her feel more uncomfortable, but before she could complain again, David stood up and stopped her words with a kiss.

"You are going, Alice, no discussion. You may not like the story, but it is a great chance for you. And besides, you're my date," he said, as he gently placed one of her curls behind her ear. "I wouldn't survive all the rich old women at the party otherwise. They would all be after my handsome young body," he said with false concern.

"Ok, I'll go, just to keep an eye on you," she said, rolling her eyes with resignation. It _was_ a good opportunity after all, she shouldn't waste it just because it wasn't her type of party.

"Great," he said with a wink. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight."

"Wait, Dave! I know your tastes, that dress better not have much cleavage," she said in a rush, as he was leaving the office.

So, Bruce Wayne's party. If someone had told her seventeen-year-old self she would be attending a party like that, she would have thought they were joking. She knew it would probably be dull, but hoped she was wrong. She really wished something unexpected would happen.

* * *

She examined the elevator's mirror for the last time. She looked at the woman in front of her, her long blue slick dress, her high heels, red lips and dark curls combed up in a high bun. She almost couldn't recognize herself. Damn David and his speech about dress codes. She felt strange with this kind of outfit, that followed her curves closely, leaving little to the imagination. As if guessing her thoughts, David grasped her hand in reassurance.

"You're going to be fine, these parties have never killed no one," said David next to her. "You look beautiful by the way."

Alice eyed him in slight annoyance. He wasn't the one wearing heels tonight.

The doors opened up straight into Wayne's penthouse, where an old butler took their coats and directed them through the house to where the party was taking place. It was full of people everywhere, plus tables filled with food, a bar, and waiters walking around with platters. Looking at the crowd of fancy people, she understood David's insistence in her outfit.

"Where's Wayne?" she asked him, failing to find him.

"Don't you know? Bruce Wayne never arrives early to parties, even if he's hosting them. He will get here soon enough."

As if on cue, the sound of a helicopter drowned the music, and through the balcony entered Bruce Wayne himself, joined by his 'dates'. So, he was as much a showoff as she thought... His first words were dedicated to Harvey Dent and his work as district attorney, and he raised his glass to him when he finished his speech. That's how she finally found him, he was standing far away from the spotlight and not knowing what to do with himself, as everybody raised their glasses in his honor. If she could just manage to interview him tonight... Gotham's own unmasked hero, Harvey was the only man who had ever stood up to the mobs, and she really admired him for that. He didn't care about the threats, about all the risks. He really believed justice was possible and he made her want to believe it too.

"There you have him. He seems to enjoy this events as much as you do, you already have something in common to talk about," said David, laughing. "I'm going to get a drink. Don't forget to interview Wayne too, it would be impolite to ignore him in his own house."

"Especially when he is such a _pleasant_ host," Alice said with sarcasm. "He seems to really respect female journalists."

"Oh, he just likes to act as a playboy. But ok, leave him to me. I wouldn't want Bruce Wayne to try to steal my date. I'll go get us some drinks, do you want something?"

"I would say something strong, but it wouldn't be very professional. I'll stay sober for now. Just go and have fun. I know you know everyone here and you have to do your rounds of greetings. I'll manage on my own," she said, trying to sound confident.

As David went to the bar, she searched for her favorite district attorney, but he had already disappeared after the speech. So had Bruce Wayne, she thought with surprise. Alice resigned herself to taking some pictures and interviewing some of the many important people there. Half an hour later she was already bored to death and wanting David's company.

She was about to go find him when she suddenly heard a gunshot that resonated through the room. An eerie silence settled over the party, only interrupted by a single voice.

"Gooood evening ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's _entertainment_."

Her heart froze and she turned towards the source of those words. She couldn't see who it belonged to, but she felt that voice like a stab. It was only when she saw the men entering the room with their guns, that she woke up from the shock and realized what was happening. The armed men had clown masks that looked anything but funny and too similar to the ones involved in the recent bank robbery. Alice tried to remember the man that was said to be behind that crime. _The Joker_ , that's what they called him. Things were about to get ugly.

"I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?" said the Joker, and his tone let anyone know the threat that underlined his words.

The people that where closer to him tried to back away, repulsed and scared, as he strolled through the room, eating and drinking their food and drinks, asking each one the same question. Alice stood on her tiptoes and tried to get a glimpse. She had an irrational urge to put a face to that voice, even if her survival instincts told her to keep still. She could only see a few flashes of green dirty hair and a purple suit, but she was too far away to really see anything.

Suddenly, she heard Rachel Dawes's voice -Harvey Dent's girlfriend- break the silence. She seemed to be standing up to that strange man. With concern, Alice moved slowly through the crowd, trying to get as little attention as possible, to see what was going on.

As she got closer, the ring of that voice, the Joker's voice, made her feel more and more uneasy. It sounded familiar, but in a kind of jagged way. Like the distorted version of something she had known. She could only see his back, but Alice could hear his words, as he threatened Rachel with his knife. _Do you know how I got this scars?_ , he asked her, and started telling a horrible story. Something about him mirroring his wife's scars. Alice felt the morbid need to see them, those scars that marred his face, but his face remained hidden to her eyes. She could only see Rachel trying to get away and the Joker cornering her again. Her hands trembled, she felt powerless. If nobody stepped in, he was going to hurt her, or even kill her. She hesitantly took a step forward. She knew couldn't stop him but couldn't stand there and just watch... Luckily, she wasn't the only one who thought that way.

Her night was already surreal, but when Batman made his appearance, charging against the Joker and freeing Rachel, she realized she had to be dreaming. The clown's goons attacked him, and he had to fight them outnumbered. The Joker used those seconds to trap Rachel again. But instead of using her as a hostage to escape, he threw her out of the window, as if he just wanted to test what Batman would do. Alice saw the hero throwing himself through the window without a second thought, and her heart stopped. He was going to be ok, she repeated again and again to herself, he had to have a plan.

But as the commotion of the fight died down, and Batman didn't resurface, the people in the room noticed they were alone with that mad criminal, with no one there to save them. That's when panic started to kick in. Batman had abandoned them there by themselves. The crowd tried to escape, running to the doors in a sort of stampede. Nobody wanted to find out what would come next from those clowns. But instead of following them, Alice stood there, in her place.

In between the screams, the shouts and the gunshots -the clowns were contributing their share to the chaos-, Alice had grabbed her camera and pointed it to that strange man; the Joker was the only other person in the room who had remained still in his spot. She always had messed up priorities, curiosity before fear, and she _needed_ to capture the Joker's face before she could go anywhere. When he decided Batman wasn't going to fly back in through the broken window, the clown finally turned around and looked at the frightened guests. She took the picture instantly, not wanting to miss a chance.

At that moment, Alice realized several things in a matter of just a few seconds.

First, her camera's flash for some reason was turned on. That meant that anyone within eye sight had seen a bright flash the moment she took the picture.

Second, as she was about to take it, with the flash blasting through the room, a couple of eyes looked at her through the other side of the lens, thus being captured in her picture. Those eyes belonged to the Joker.

Third, she was certain she had already seen those eyes. And it wasn't that she recognize them vaguely like his voice, that was distorted and played as part of his act. No, those eyes were unadulterated by the paint, pure. That look resisted any kind of disguise and she could recognize it anytime, anywhere. But she had to be wrong. They belonged to someone she had buried along with her childhood, years ago. She may not have put them in the ground, but she had buried them in her own way, in her grandma's garden. She had dug the grave herself and placed a purple shirt in it. She had refused to throw in her necklace with them, as she claimed it for herself. She had cried for them, mourned them and finally had learnt to get over them. So, how could they be staring at her right now?

Her fourth realization confused her even more. She noticed the emotions displayed in that painted face, going from a demented smile as he first turned around, to anger as he saw her taking his picture -that smoldering look was the one that was captured by her camera-. What she didn't expect was his last emotion, the shock she saw in his eyes. When she lowered the camera, her only shield between them, he looked like she probably did. Like he had seen a ghost.

In the middle of all the havoc that wrecked in the room, they just stood there for a few seconds, immersed in each other, as if under a spell. It only lasted a few seconds, as David finally found Alice and shook her awake, not noticing the attention she had brought to herself. What had just happened?

"Alice, are you ok? Are you hurt? Come, we have to leave this place now," said David, as he tried to drag her out of the room with him.

Alice couldn't think straight. She was dumb from the shock. She didn't know exactly what she had just seen, or rather, _who._ She looked up one last time, before following David, but she couldn't see those eyes anymore. One of the armed clown's was talking to the Joker, she heard some of his words: he was telling him the police was coming, that they had to get out. His boss didn't seem to take kindly to that disturbance, as he looked at him as if he wanted to kill him. But Alice didn't stay to find out if he actually did, as David ushered her through the remaining crowd and to the stairs, as the elevators were completely blocked with people. They managed to go downstairs and out to the cold night.

* * *

After that, everything that happened was a blur in her head. She just let David take over and allowed her mind to shut down. She remembered the police had already been there when they got to the street, but somehow the Joker managed to escape anyway -some people say that they got out through the roof-. David managed to get them out of there without much questioning from the police, as they were still busy hoping they could track down the criminal. When they finally arrived at her apartment, she had to insist Dave that she was fine, as he didn't want to leave her alone in such a state. She just needed to be alone for a while. But before he left, she gave him her camera.

"Here's your clown, the story is yours. I can't write it, I'm sorry."

David looked surprised, but accepted her request without questioning it. He gave her a last kiss and went to the police station, to testify and get more information.

Alice couldn't sleep that night. She stayed up late in her room, going through a box she hadn't opened in a long time. Inside, there were a couple of crumpled old letters from her grandma -that she cherished, as they were the reason she was still alive- a necklace with the later _J_ , and a photograph -the only one she had ever taken in all her years in the orphanage-. One of the sisters had one year decided it would be nice to take make a sort of yearbook, and brought a camera that day. It was never made, as it there was no money, but they had taken a lot of pictures that were then locked up and forgotten. Alice had managed to steal a photo from the sister's desk and kept it with her still, the rest had probably disappeared with the fire, as every other proof of life there was in that place. It showed a couple of kids, a boy and a girl, both fifteen. The girl smiled and waved at the camera, her curls unruly and everywhere, with her other arm around the boy's shoulder. He, on the other hand, didn't smile. Jack just looked at the camera with bored eyes, his hand fastened protectively around the girl's waist, as if he was afraid she would run away.

Now, sitting in her bedroom floor, Alice stared at those eyes and cried. They once belonged to the boy she loved, but that night, she had seen them defiled and desecrated, as they had been placed in the face of a laughing clown.

When she finally managed to fall asleep, clown and boy intermingled in her dreams. They formed a monstrosity that clung to her in a desperate embrace. She woke up screaming.


	4. Chapter 4

Here it is, just out of the oven! We get to have the awaited meeting between Alice and the Joker. Thanks again to everyone that has favorited or followed this story, especially to my reviewers (you're the best!). You are the ones that motivate me to keep writing it, so let me know what you think about this chapter (or if there are any mistakes that may have slipped by). Enjoy!

* * *

She just laid there, her eyes half opened, staring at the window. It was raining, another reason not to get up and abandon her spot under the covers. The world outside her bed felt hostile that morning. But knew she couldn't put it on hold any longer. Hiding in her bed was useless anyway, because it also felt hostile. After all, it was where her nightmares had taken place, for two nights in a row now.

Yesterday she had spent her whole day staring through her window, trying to read and failing miserably to concentrate on the words written in the pages of her book. She had refused to go to work and nobody had complaint about it. After all, just the night before she had been involved in one of the Joker's attacks; everyone seemed to take pity on her. Just thinking about his name made her shudder. When she had woken up after that first dreamless night, she had tried really hard not to turn on the TV or answer the phone, to stay disconnected, but it became a hard task as the day went by. First she convinced herself it was harmless, she could just watch a movie to distract herself, but she couldn't help passing by the news channel and settling there. Every reporter talked about the same thing: the incident at Wayne's party, its relation to the deaths of Judge Surillo and Police Commissioner Loeb -who were charge of the massive mob trial taking place those days- and about _him_. It seemed these were all pieces of a puzzle, a carefully orchestrated plan to take out everyone involved in that trial, and the Joker had almost succeeded. He only needed to get to Harvey Dent, the only survivor. Nobody knew how he had managed to hide just in time, but it was the best news she had gotten since that night.

But she had already heard all these things. The real reason she couldn't help watching the news was the same reason she avoided turning on the TV in the first place. It was a picture, one they had shown since that first morning at every channel and which they repeated again and again. It was the photograph she had taken. It was the best picture they had of the Joker until now, the man of the hour, so they used it tirelessly. His dark eyes stared at her from the TV, never blinking, as in her dreams. They were the Joker's eyes. But also Jack's eyes.

Alice still didn't know what to think about him. She didn't want to ask any more questions she wouldn't be able to answer, but always came back to them anyway. _Who was he?_ As she looked at the Joker's picture, she had to admit he had an uncanny resemblance to Jack, even though it couldn't be possible. On the other hand, if it wasn't him, why had he seemed so shocked to see her? It didn't make sense. Several years had passed, but she had never doubted Danny's words. He was scared for his own life too, you couldn't fake that. But she couldn't help asking herself, what if he had been wrong? What if...?

The strangest part of all, was that she didn't even know what she hoped was the truth. When she saw him there at the party and thought she was seeing Jack, she couldn't help her happiness. But at the same time, she couldn't ignore the whole image: the painted face, the scars, the violence, the madness. It reminded her of a book she had played with when she was a kid. It had two kinds of pages, ones with normal white paper and the other in a see-through red paper. The drawings in the white ones would show you different sceneries, but when you placed the colored ones over them, they changed completely, new details appeared that altered the whole image: hidden animals, people, stars. That's how she saw now the Joker's picture. Like a red version of Jack's face, but with much more disturbing changes.

She remembered all the years she had carried with her not only his death, but his secret. She had told no one about him, about his death or about their role in the fire that took the lives of so many children. The mob had wanted revenge after all, on him and his loved ones, so in a way they were both to blame, they wouldn't have targeted otherwise. The guilt of having gotten away while the other kids had died there chased Alice for a long time. It was really hard to learn to accept the gift she had been given and move on. She had had the chance to get to know her grandma before she died, to finish high school, to study journalism. She was given the opportunity to start over, far away from Gotham and those painful memories. Was this her punishment for coming back? Was the Joker a ghost sent to haunt her for all the deaths she had left behind? For leaving Jack behind? Or could it be really him? Not knowing was intolerable. Those doubts burned her inside. She had to convince herself she had been seeing things, that nothing had changed. At least to stay sane.

The phone rang, for the third time that day. It would probably be David. If it wasn't the police; they had called a lot yesterday. A man by the name of Lieutenant Gordon. He told her he knew she had been through a lot, but that it would be really helpful if she could testify at the police station everything she'd seen that night. Alice had agreed to go down to the station the next day, but now that she actually had to do it she really regretted it. She couldn't tell them anything useful if she didn't know _what_ she'd seen. A mad criminal, a dead boyfriend or a ghost? It would be funny to see their reaction to her statement. They would think she was as mad as the Joker, still in shock after the attack.

When she picked up the phone, she found out it was just David wanting to know how she was. Even though she tried to answer as normal as possible, she wasn't in the mood for talking. The call didn't last long after she told him she was fine and that she would see him at work that day. Alice didn't want him to worry, but she was still a little bit sore at him after the stunt he had pulled the day before. The reason the police was so eager to talk to her, out of all the people in the party, was because David thought it would be a great idea to give her credit for her picture. So when he included it with his story in the newspaper, he wrote her name as the photographer. He guessed it would be good for her career, but he had pushed her into the spotlight in more than one way. Not only had he gotten the police interested in her as a witness, but also -and this concerned her much more- he had made her identity public for a certain man. She had already caught the Joker's attention at that party. Her restless nights were a reminder of that. Now, he had a real reason to take interest in her: she was the one who had let the world see his face up close. If he resented that in any way, he now knew exactly where to find her. There was her name, just under the photograph. How much time would it take to find out where she lived, just looking up her name? Not very much. But she couldn't say this to David, get angry at him or even share her fear with him, because he was already worried enough about her. She just wished he thought things through sometimes.

After hanging up, she dragged her feet back to her room. If she meant to go out into the world again, she had to change out of her pajamas at some point. She hated thinking about all the questions and stares that awaited her at the office, and also the statement she would have to give at the station later on. But as much as she dreaded those things, they helped her in a way. They served to keep her head away from other more terrible thoughts. If she could remain distracted, she might be able to get some sleep that night.

* * *

As she waited in her seat for the plump receptionist to call her name, she looked at the uniformed men and women that passed in front of her. It was her first time there, but she supposed the police station wasn't usually this agitated. All the people here looked stressed out or hurried to go somewhere else. But their faces probably had the same expression as her own, so at least she felt more comfortable here than in her office. Her workday had been exactly as she had expected it to be. A lot of questions and not very subtle glances directed her way. She mostly ignored them and tried to get her work done. David, on the other hand, had been a little more difficult to ignore. He stopped by her desk every minute just to check on her. Alice couldn't remember what she had said -or rather didn't say- that night and what her face looked like when he dropped her at her apartment, but it must have scared him. Bill, on the other hand, had been smiling when he saw her. He had underestimated her, he said. Taking that photograph at a time like that, thinking about the newspaper even then; he was really proud of her, she had proven to be loyal to the Gotham Times. Alice wanted to scoff at him, but she tried to just smile back.

"Miss Dahlman? Lieutenant Gordon is ready to see you now," said the receptionist, as she hung up the phone. "Go through the door on your right, please."

Alice got up quickly, startled out of her thoughts, accidently dropping her purse. As she picked up her things, cursing her clumsiness, she saw a card lying on the floor face down. It must have been on the floor all along, because she had never seen it before. She thought it was funny. Who would play cards in a police station at times like this? She left it there and got up. It would be better to get this over with quickly.

The interrogation room wasn't exactly cozy. It was small, gray and had only a table and a couple of chairs. As she went in, that place made her feel like _she_ was the one being charged, instead of the witness. Why couldn't they just have a friendly chat at Gordon's office?

At least the man himself seemed nice. He was sitting there reading some papers and greeted her with a smile.

"I'm sorry for making you come all this way just for a few questions, Miss Dahlman. But you know, formalities. Why don't you sit down?"

Alice gave him a small smile and sat down at the table.

"Hi, Lieutenant. I really want to help, but as I said on the phone, I don't really think I can be of much use. Please, just call me Alice."

"Sometimes we remember later on things we didn't know we knew, so maybe you can surprise yourself. Anyway, Alice, it's really just routine. We already know how the Joker got in the building, what we can't figure out is how he got out. He just vanished out of thin air, none of our cops covering the perimeter saw him get out. I have full trust in my men, so I need to understand _how_ he did it. They told me you're the one who took the Joker's picture that night. You've already helped us a lot as it is, giving us a face to search for. But that picture was taken just before he got away, wasn't it? So maybe you can remember what he did after you took his picture."

 _He just stood there, staring at me._

"I really don't remember much. I took the photo by chance and a second later my friend found me and we left. I didn't get to see anything else."

"Did you get to see the face of any of the other men that were working for the Joker?

"Not really, they were all wearing masks. He was the only one without one."

"In your picture he seems to be looking straight to you, did he notice you taking a picture of him? How did he react to that?"

 _It wasn't the picture he seemed to care about._

"No, he didn't pay much attention to it. I don't know if he even saw me taking it," she said, as she played with her hands.

What was she supposed to tell him? This wasn't going to help them catch him. She still felt somewhat guilty.

"I'm just asking because it could have been be dangerous for you. Next time you should worry more about your safety, Alice. You should run. We are the ones that endanger ourselves like that, but at least it's our job and we are prepared for it. A camera is a poor shield against criminals," he said, with concern.

"Don't worry, I will make sure to run next time," she said, absentmindedly. "Have you found out anything about him yet? Who he is?"

"We are working on it, but we have little to go on. No name, nothing. But we are putting all are effort and men to it. As soon as we discover anything, we will let you know. Well, I think this is enough for today, but if you remember anything at all, please call us."

"Thank you Mr. Gordon, I will. I really hope you catch him soon."

* * *

The interrogation had been really short, she thought relieved, as she walked out of the station. She finally felt free again and she could breath normally. As Alice stepped into the cold night air, she heard her phone ring. She answered the call with a smile, when she recognized the number as David's. She really shouldn't have avoided him so much these days. Now that the day was over, she was in a better mood. What she needed now was a dose of normality, inviting David over to her house would do her some good. Unfortunately, she didn't get the chance. It seemed he wasn't calling just to chat.

"Listen Alice, I really think it's not a good idea, but Bill insists he wants you to cover another event tomorrow and told me to let you know. Are you up to covering Police Commissioner Loeb's funeral tomorrow? It might be dangerous, there's already rumors about the Joker targeting the Mayor, so we really don't know what to expect. You can always say no, you know. What do you want me to tell him?"

Of course she was doing it. Besides, the place was going to be overflowing with cops. How dangerous could it be?

* * *

Hundreds of people filled the street, as the procession marched down at the sound of pipes. She was standing near the stage, taking pictures. A small crowd had gathered on the sides, full of worried and sad faces. As the procession came to a halt, Mayor Garcia started giving his speech. He had always seemed to Alice as someone who stood his place no matter what. He talked passionately about the Police Commissioner, with confidence and taking his time, as if there wasn't a death threat hanging over his head. She was surprised he even had the courage to stand up on that stage today. She didn't know who had picked the place, but this had to be the worst spot to have the ceremony. The street was surrounded by tall buildings left and right. Too many places to hide.

When the Mayor was about to end his speech, the uniformed men prepared their guns to salute.

"We must remember that vigilance is the price of safety," said Mayor Garcia as his last words.

"Stand by!" shouted one of the officers, as they lifted their guns into the air.

The first round of gunshots was heard. Alice shuddered. She hated that sound. Another round. She took a picture as she spotted Gordon's worried face near the stage. The third round blasted through the air. And then...screams?

She didn't understand what was going on at first, it happened so quickly. The Mayor was on the floor, Gordon seemed to have had pushed him away. Everybody was trying to run to safety, screaming. She suddenly remembered Gordon's words at the station: run. So she did, even though she didn't know where her feet were taking her. She didn't know where the gunshot had come from, so where should she be escaping to? She looked up at the windows. Had the shooter been up there, in one of them? Because she was looking up, too worried about another possible strike, she didn't notice the uniformed man in front of her until she had already bumped straight into him. She fell to the ground and hissed. Her knee was bleeding. She looked up and was about to ask the unknown officer for help to stand up. But then she saw his face and the words died in her mouth.

He was grimacing as he looked at her, rubbing his arm. His police cap hid most of this face and his hair was tied up and also hidden. But she knew who he was. She could recognize those awful scars anywhere, even without makeup. As the Joker stared at her, he seemed to consider something for a second. Then he just took off running.

This couldn't be happening again. He was getting away again, someone had to stop him. But more importantly: _she needed to see his face_. She got up, ignoring the pain from her bleeding knee, and run after him as fast as she could. Policemen were everywhere, but nobody recognized him. There was too much chaos to notice a single man running through the crowd. She followed him as he went down the street, took a turn and entered an alley. As she got closer, she knew there was no way he could get out of there, she had cornered him. Only later would she consider how stupid she had been at the time. She entered a dark alley alone, not bothering to alert any of the hundreds of cops around her, to chase after the Joker, and she thought _she_ had _him_ cornered. How naive.

As she came to a halt in front of the alley, still breathing heavily, the reality of her situation slowly started to kick in. She took a few nervous steps into the darkness, she couldn't see him anywhere. Hadn't he taken a turn here? Where else could he be? There only were a few dumpsters. Maybe he had climbed through an escape ladder, she thought. Something was wrong about this place and she couldn't tell what, but it put her on edge. What was she doing here by herself, chasing after him? Did she have a death wish? She slowly turned around and started walking back to the street. She should be relieved not to find him here. It was insane to come in the first place, she thought, as she was almost out of there. So why did she feel so disappointed?

Even in the silence that surrounded her at that moment, Alice never heard those steps coming from behind her back. His hands took her by surprise, one on her waist and the other on her mouth, drowning her scream. As he dragged her deeper and deeper into the alley, she realized what it was about that place that hadn't seem right to her. It was too quiet. You couldn't hear the voices coming from the street. That meant nobody could hear her.

"Tssk, tssk... Hasn't anyone told you what happens to pretty girls who follow bad men into dark alleys?" he said, as he tightened his grip on her until it hurt.

She felt his breath inches away from her neck and shuddered.

His tone changed drastically when he spoke again, it got much lower and deeper. She knew it well. _He_ had always used that voice whenever he was angry. But it was the first time that anger was directed at her.

"But I shouldn't be surprised. You were always so _curious_. Weren't you, _Lis_?"

She stopped struggling and stood still in his arms. Nobody had called her Lis for years. There was only one person who called her like that. He loosened his tight grip on her a bit and, as in a trance, she turned around in his arms. She didn't care if she was to die in this abandoned place, she needed to know. She needed to see him. She found the courage to lift her trembling hand and slowly took off his cap. It fell on the floor with a soft thump.

There he stood, in all his glory. The light was dim but there was no mistaking him.

As Jack smirked at her, his scars seemed to widen and took over his face.

"Did you miss me?"


	5. Chapter 5

Hi! So... I've already written more than this, but I thought this was a good place to cut it, to be able to give you an early upload. So don't hate me because of the lenght, the next chapter is already half written. It's always hard to write the Joker and be accurate with the character, so I hope I've got it right. If I play with the names Jack/The Joker it's only because that's how Alice actually sees it, she thinks about them as two people merged in one, that's where her biggest problem comes from.  
So, I'll let you read the chapter now. Enjoy it!

* * *

 _"Did you miss me?"_

Alice stared at him mesmerized.

"How can you be..."

" _Alive_? I'm sorry to disappoint you, love. Did you think I would disappear so _easily_?" he growled.

As the Joker - _or should she call him Jack?-_ moved closer to her, Alice slowly started to back away. Dark green strands of hair hung over her head like a curtain, as he hovered above her. He was stalking her like a prey.

Her back finally hit the wall and she knew there was nowhere else to go. She tried hard to find her voice again, to stand up to him, but her words came out as a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear:

"He said you were dead. You had been gone for days, so I just... I believed him."

" _Who?_ " he said, in a threatening tone.

She was taken aback by his harsh tone and by the anger that laid underneath. Since she had uncovered his face and unveiled the truth, her mind had become slow and muddy. This was all too unreal. But she had to wake up, she had to fight to keep her mind clear. This was dangerous. _He_ was dangerous now.

"D-Danny. He came looking for me that night, to warn me." As she spoke, she felt guilty about giving out the boy's name. Danny had helped her, after all. "If he hadn't, I wouldn't be here. I would have died in that fire," she added, to defend him in some way.

"Sooo... little _Danny_ came to your rescue, didn't he? What a _hero_ ," he said, with a smirk plastered in his mouth. His words dripped with sarcasm and sounded poisonous. It hurt her just to listen to him. "Did you, uh, run away with him _,_ then? You needed money to leave and he had it. I bet you saw him as a knight in shining armor, didn't you?" He licked his lips with a quick flick of his tongue, caressing his scars. It made her want to cringe. "Did you _fuck_ him too?"

Her hand reacted before she could think about it, ready to slap the words out of his mouth. But he was faster. Alice didn't get to touch him, as he grabbed her wrist with one hand and her neck with the other. He placed a knee between her legs and lifted her until she was eye to eye with him. She was furious and scared at the same time. Why would he say those words? Who did he take her for? Her last few good memories, they had all been about him, but now he was defiling all of them, all she remembered, her whole past.

"I never saw him after that night!" she cried, with angry words. She was having trouble breathing, with his hand still pressing on her neck. "I had my own ways of leaving that place. He had just told me the mob was coming after me too. What was I supposed to do, Jack? Stay there?"

He frowned when he heard that name, but his grip on her neck loosened. Her feet touched the ground again. She hesitated a bit before her next words. She was afraid to talk to him, but at the same time she needed it. She couldn't hold back her words any longer.

"I thought you were _dead,_ Jack. What else was I supposed to do but run? " She insisted on that name, as if by invoking it she could keep the clownish monster away. "I had no reason to stay there anymore and every reason to go away. If I had known you were out there..."

She didn't know what else to say. What would she have done if she had known? Could she have saved him from becoming like this? With her free hand, she softly traced his uneven scars and, much to her surprise, he closed his eyes at her touch. It seemed to sooth him somehow. She wondered how much a person could change in seven years. Was there some of the old Jack still inside him?

"Did they do this to you? Was it Falcone?" she whispered.

But when he opened his eyes again, they were two dark holes, and his jaw was clenched to its limits. The gentleness they had had just a moment ago was gone, vanished, replaced by this anger, this resentment. Alice understood she had overstepped her boundaries, the man in front of her wasn't her Jack anymore. He had had a moment of weakness, a flash of the past, but he had put his mask back on now.

She stood there, between his body and the cold wall, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he refused to speak. He seemed content just studying her with his cold stare. After a while, she couldn't take it anymore.

"For God's sake... Say something, Jack!"

He raised an eyebrow, he wasn't used to being screamed at, not as the Joker at least. When she felt his hand releasing her wrist and moving closer to her face, she closed her eyes. She had been so stupid. He was going to hit her. Why had she thought he would be any gentler with her? He was a monster now. Alice suddenly heard a low chuckle. She opened her eyes in surprise and looked up, just as the Joker closed the distance between them.

The feeling of his lips on hers took her by surprise. She didn't understand at first that this crushing sensation, this desperate, consuming thing, was actually Jack's kiss. She could feel his scars scratching her skin and his tongue tasting her. Alice closed her eyes and, without thinking about it, opened her mouth. It was all it took for him to deepen the kiss. She could taste his anger, his frustration, his aggression. She kissed him back with her own desperation, her own sadness and regret.

All those kids dead, all those years lost, all those dreams gone. They would never get them back. They would never get another chance, and she knew it. Her tears fell slowly down her cheeks, into their lips. His hands roamed her body, from her face to her hips. Jack's touch drowned her into a false sense of security, took her to a past she thought she had managed to forget. It was only when he pulled away and broke the kiss, that she came back to reality.

She could hear the sirens passing by and remembered the funeral, the shooting.

The Joker - _Jack_ \- licked his lips, as he stared at her. That gesture was painfully familiar. As Alice tried to calm her ragged breaths, she took in his scent. The Joker smelled of sweat and powder, but at the same time, he smelled like home, like those cold nights in the Narrows, like _him_. They were like two sides of the same coin. His voice cut through her thoughts:

"What am I going to do with you now? I wasn't expecting this. You being _alive_ and all," he said, as he traced her neck with his fingers, feeling her pulse quicken and making her tremble.

As she watched his serious expression, she wondered which was deadlier, this look or his maniac smile. Which one should she be more worried about?

"We have some _catching up_ to do, don't we? Unfortunately, I think now's not the right time, love," he said.

Immediately after that, they heard the sound of a van stopping in front of the alley. His eyes kept looking straight at her, even after the door had opened.

"There's my ride. But don't worry, I know where to find you, _Lis_. And believe me, I _will_ ," he added, with a smirk, releasing her. "Just in case, here's my card."

He placed something in one of her jacket pockets and took off, jumping into the opened door of the van. Inside, she could see a couple of grinning men dressed as policemen, like him. They left as fast as they had appeared, but with one extra clown, and she was left there, alone in the alley. When her hands stopped shaking, she searched her pocket. Inside, there was the same card she had found in the floor of the police station, when she dropped her bag. It was a Joker card. Under the picture, there was a phone number. What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

As soon as she got home, she locked every single window and bolted the door. She had walked all the way back, too numb to even stop a cab. The Joker's last words were a promise. If he knew where she lived, he could pay her a visit anytime. She was in his hands now. She knew those locks wouldn't stop him.

Alice spent the rest of the day walking through her apartment in circles, wondering if she should go somewhere else, run. To make things worse, she had to write that stupid article for the paper. Bill had called her as soon as she had gotten home, to let her know she would be on the front page, so she better not disappoint him. Alice wanted to scream at him to go to hell, but she just muttered an _ok_. She had also found out that Gordon, the same Jim Gordon that had interviewed her the day before, was now dead. She had only hours ago taken his picture at the funeral, where ironically he had found his own death. It was probably the last one anyone had taken of him alive. She was sure her camera was cursed by now.

So now she was in charge of writing an article about today's horror and about the death of a good man, after kissing the man responsible for all those things. What could she write without being a hypocrite, without wanting to throw up?

She managed to finish the article, but she felt disgusted with herself. Gordon's face stared at her from the screen, as if he knew everything that had happened. She sent the story and turned her computer off. She had more important things to be worried about. She examined the Joker card, laying over her desk. She should just throw it away. Why would she want to speak with him? She just wanted to stay away from him. _Then why did you kiss him?,_ she couldn't help asking herself.

That night she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she could swear she heard knocks on her door or the sound of her window opening. Alice wished she was at David's house, where she wouldn't feel so vulnerable, but she knew she wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes. That afternoon, when she had gotten home, she had realized her little encounter in the alley had left her with a bruised lip. She shuddered at the thought of kissing him with the same mouth that had kissed the Joker. But more importantly, what if the Joker found out about him? She knew there was only one way to protect David from the Joker, but the idea of cutting her ties with him only made her feel more alone in that madness. Alice couldn't tell anyone the truth without risking their lives and she didn't trust the police, as it seemed they couldn't protect anyone. So who could she talk to? Besides, she had convinced herself it would be useless to tell the world his name. The man he had been in the past, the man she had known, was almost gone. So what use could her memories have? They wouldn't help to catch him.

* * *

Alice had finally managed to fall asleep, when her alarm clock went off. She was too tired to function, but she dragged herself up from her bed. After she had taken a much needed shower, she went to the kitchen. She was starving, as she hadn't been able to eat anything the night before.

That's when she saw it.

There was something there, on her kitchen table. Something that shouldn't be there. When she got closer, her heart stopped.

She fell to the floor, as her knees gave out under her.

It was a necklace, but not any necklace. Attached to its silver chain, a _J_ glimmered with the morning light. Alice had never taken it out of her room, it was supposed to be where it always was: her box of memories.

Next to it was a small note, written with purple ink.

 _'Never forget who you belong to, Lis._

 _PS: You look lovely when you sleep.'_


	6. Chapter 6

"You've got to be kidding me..."

Alice stared at what was left of her article, as she examined today's paper. Why did she bother writing it in the first place? They had changed everything, until it hardly resembled the truth. Facts were blown out of proportions, her words about Gordon's bravery for saving the Mayer were almost gone. In fact, most of her article was gone, except for her picture of Gordon's green eyes staring at his death, relegated to a corner. All to make place for the big story.

" _Breaking news: the Batman's identity revealed today_ ".

She reread it again and again. It couldn't be possible. People were actually happy about this? He was the only hope they had left, what were they thinking?

"It's about time. That rat deserves to be judged as all the other criminals. He only brought madness to this city," said Bill with his know-it-all tone, as he passed by her desk and eyed the newspaper in her hands. He didn't even notice he was blowing all his cigarette smoke in her face. "You did a good job yesterday. Sorry for putting you out there with that clown again, if I had known it would be that dangerous I would have sent one of the guys to do it." Did he really think the men in that office wouldn't piss their pants at the sound of guns? "To be honest, you write with pretty words, kid, but what we need is a much rawer style, you now? Something that sells to the crowd. You should ask Tom for some advise, he gets it perfectly."Alice tried to contain her scoff at his words. _Tom?_ He was the biggest idiot in the whole office. Bill just liked him because he always went for the gore and the tears."But you take nice pictures. Anyway, doll, take the day off." She eyed him with surprise, he _never_ gave days off. "Don't look at me like that, I'm not just giving you advise, I'm telling you. You really look like you need some sleep, it doesn't help me to have you working like this and it certainly doesn't help you to get back to normal. This has been a rough week for you. Just go home and take it easy, you can come back in a couple of days."

Going back home was the last thing she wanted, it wasn't safe anymore. She now knew that all of her locks were useless, they didn't hold back the threat, and she had found out in the worse possible way. Alice was about to complain to Bill, but she suddenly jumped when she felt someone grabbing her shoulder.

"Don't worry, I will make sure she gets some rest."

When had David come into the office? She tried to make eye contact but he avoided her. She couldn't blame him if he was angry with her, Alice couldn't remember the last time they had a decent conversation.

"Right, that's what I wanted to hear! I need my employees rested and in good shape. These are important days for Gotham's journalists, people need to be well informed," said Bill, with excitement in his eyes. Alice knew that look: he was thinking about the thousands of newspapers we would sell tomorrow.

After that last comment, Bill considered the conversation finished, and left with a final nod. She was alone with David now and, for the first time since they had been dating, she felt an uncomfortable silence between them.

"I'm sorry for not calling you back yesterday," she said, trying to break the ice.

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately," he said, finally looking back at her.

"I know. I'm sorry for that too," she said, looking away. "It's just that... these days have been difficult."

"I know that, Alice. But why do you cut my off? Things are not going to get better just by being on your own," he said, as he grabbed her face in his hands. She missed the days when she could just relax in his touch, without worries. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him. She looked up into his eyes, but was surprised when she spotted a sudden frown clouding his face.

"What happened to your lip?"

She hadn't expected that. Alice tried with all her might to keep her face blank. She was so stupid, she had forgotten things weren't so simple anymore. The guilt she had felt before, flooded her again. He could never know, she couldn't let him know the truth.

"I fell yesterday, when I was running away from the gunshots," she said. The lie came too quickly for her liking, since when could she lie so easily to his face?

"God, Alice. Are you ok? You have to be more careful, who knows what could have happened to you there."

He examined her bruised mouth with worry, while her face burned with embarrassment. _I'm not lying for him, it's for Dave, to keep him safe_. It still felt like treason.

"I will be fine, really. Maybe a couple of days off the streets will do me good. I just need some time alone, to calm down," she said, while she unclasped his hands from her face.

"Just stop keeping me in the dark, ok? A simple text will do. I worry about you, you know?"

She nodded, trying to give him a reassuring smile. Some distance between them would be for the best, she thought sadly.

"I will keep in touch," she said, kissing him. "Are you going to the press conference?" she said, hoping the change of subject wasn't too obvious.

"Yeah. I really don't know how that will turn out... Do you think the Batman is really going to turn himself in after all this time?"

"I don't know, I really hope not. At least if he does, people in this town will understand how stupid they were and how they gave him for granted," she said, with bitterness. She eyed David with worry. "Be careful Dave, things will get ugly out there."

"Don't worry, I can manage. You're the one who should be careful, bad luck seems to follow you around," he said, locking his eyes again on her lip. She tried to hide it with her hand from his sight, but he uncovered it, bent down and kissed her."I'll see you around, Alice. Call me, I'll miss seeing you around in the office these days."

As she saw him walking away, she already felt like calling him back. She wanted to cry and ask him to make everything go away, but she just stood there and watched him leave. David could never understand, even if she told him. For him things were black or white and the Joker was and always would be a monster. He would have gone immediately to the police if he was in her shoes, if he knew about his identity. He wouldn't have to fight with the man's shadow, with his past, like she did. Things would be clear for him. Besides, if he knew the truth, he would try to protect her at any cost and would be dragged into this madness. He probably wouldn't make it alive.

* * *

She waited, in front of her TV. The whole city was waiting for Harvey Dent to make his appearance, and so was she. As soon as she arrived home, she had turned on the TV and stared at the lonely microphone that stood in the stand. It all felt so unreal these days: the threats, the bombs, the killings, the torture of one of Batman's untrained copycats. In this state of things, it was difficult to be surprised anymore. That was what scared her the most, how adaptable everybody was, including herself.

When she saw him appear in front of the cameras, she noticed Harvey looked much older and tired; he seemed to have aged a decade. Alice wanted nothing more than for him to turn around and leave the conference room the same way he had entered, but she knew it wasn't his choice to make. The police commissioner also admired the masked man and it must have been hard for him to be standing there today. His first words only confirmed that, as he voiced what everybody thought: people in Gotham were acting out of fear.

"The Batman is an outlaw, but that isn't why we're demanding he turn himself in. We are doing it because we are scared. We've been happy to let the Batman clean up our streets until now," he said, with conviction.

"Things are worse than ever!" shouted someone in the audience.

"Yes they are. The night is darkest just before the dawn. I promise you, the dawn _is_ coming. One day, the Batman will have to answer for the laws he's broken, but to us."

"No more dead cops!" said another person in the crowd, followed by an applause. "He should turn himself in!"

"So be it," Harvey said, looking down with resignation. "Take the Batman into custody."

"I'm the Batman."

Those last words reverberated through her room. What was he doing? Everybody knew he wasn't the Batman. Why where they putting him in handcuffs? Had everybody gone insane?

A sudden realization came to her and she stood up from her couch, her mind running wild. He was protecting him, taking his place. He knew the consequences, he knew the Joker would go after him, and he didn't care. Alice saw them taking him away from the crowd, most likely to prison. Harvey may not be Batman, but he was definitely being a hero. And here she was, knowing the identity of Gotham's most wanted criminal but being too afraid to go to the police. A coward.

She couldn't stand it anymore and grabbed her coat. If Harvey Dent was going to put his life in danger to protect someone he didn't even know, she might as well stop hiding and do something useful. She was already involved, there wasn't any way to avoid that anymore. She had to let the Gotham now their monster's real name.

As she was leaving for the police station, she took one last look at her garbage can. A crumpled note with a familiar writing was still there, since that morning. Alice knew it would always be there, haunting her, unless she did something. She looked away and closed the door with a loud bang, not looking back.

* * *

"What do you mean they can't see me now? I told you, it's something urgent."

"I heard you, sweetie," said the same plump secretary that had received her a few days before. She didn't seem to recognize her, but then again, she had only given Alice a brief glance before drowning herself again in her papers. "Everybody is busy right now. I don't know if you haven't seen the TV lately, but you chose a bad moment to come here."

Alice couldn't believe it, she had found the courage to come here and now they wouldn't even listen to her. She would have laughed, if she wasn't so angry.

"It's important. It's about the Joker."

That name would get their attention, it had to. But the receptionist just kept typing in her computer and examining her files, without even giving her the privilege of another fleeting look.

"I bet it is, honey. Everything is about him lately. But you will have to wait like every other person. We receive calls like that all day, claiming they have seen the Joker, that they know his whereabouts or even -we've had a few- that they _are_ him. I've already told you, if you want them to listen to you, you'll have to wait."

Alice was fuming now, did she think she was making this up?

"Ok, if that's what it takes, I'll wait... Who do I have to wait for exactly?"

"Haven't you noticed? This place is almost empty, most officers are outside. Harvey Dent's is being moved today and he needs all the security he can get, so they sent the biggest convoy they could with him. It's going to be a long night. I wouldn't be hurrying them if I were you, but praying that they came back at all."

Alice swallowed her words. Of course they didn't have time for her, the Joker would be out there right now, stalking his prey. With a last sigh she moved away from the reception desk and plopped herself on one of the chairs. She would wait as much as she had to. She knew that if she went home now, she wouldn't come back the next day.

She didn't know at which point did she fall asleep. Her dreams were dark and muddy, a confusion of laughs, screams and tears that left a bitter taste in her mouth. But when she woke up, she wished she hadn't. The real world didn't make sense.

She had woken up with the sounds of sirens, loud voices, grunts, cheers, bright lights. A mix of hopeful but timid happiness and pure distress melted in the air. She watched in shock as cop after cop entered the building, each one with a different expression in their faces, a lot of them hurt. As they were coming in, one of them caught sight of her, frowned and walked her way.

"Hey, you shouldn't be here. We have to secure this area, no civilians allowed," he said, holding her arm.

She was about to protest, when she saw a familiar face entering the room. She couldn't help smiling. Gordon! It couldn't be possible, he was alive! She got away from the cop's grasp and went to meet him. He would listen to her, she was sure. But before she could reach him, she saw a dark figure behind him. He was bent over, dragging his feet between two strong policemen that held him ruthlessly. His face was hidden, but she didn't need to see it up close to know who it belonged to. After all, who else would wear a purple coat like that?

She stood there, frozen, as they dragged him inside the station, towards the cells. She could picture his hands in handcuffs under his purple sleeves. The smell of powder and sweat that irradiated from him was stronger than ever and there seemed to be blood in his shirt. They had done it, they had finally caught him for good. Then why was she so afraid when he looked up and spotted her? She tried to back away when he smiled at her, but she only bumped against the wall. Her heart was drumming like mad. And in what seemed like a second, even less, she felt a warm breath on her face and heard a loud _crack!_

Alice fell to the floor, shuddering. She heard the policemen shouting, grabbing him, hitting him and asking her if she was ok. But she could just think about those horrible teeth, inches away from her face. She was hyperventilating; she needed to get out of there, _now_. How had he managed to get away from his restrains? When? She knew that that bite into the empty air, in front of her, had been nothing but a tease, dedicated specially for her. Fuck him and his little mind games. He was already gone from her sight, but she still couldn't breathe normally. They had taken him away, towards the cells. Some cops around her were trying to get her to stand up and calm down, but it wasn't until she heard a familiar voice that she came out of her shock.

"Miss Dahlman? Alice? What are you doing here?"

She looked up. Gordon's eyes searched her with concern. Those eyes had haunted her the day before, they had stared at her from her photograph. Seeing them again in real life again, reminded her about that dreaded funeral and a certain kiss in an alley. She remembered everything, and that's when she broke down. She felt the lieutenant's hand on her shoulder, but she couldn't stop her tears anymore. She had held them since that morning, with that terrible note, but actually had been accumulating them since she left Gotham all those years ago. She needed to cry out. Why had she come here today of all days?

* * *

It took her some time to pull herself together. Gordon had moved her to his office, seeing her in such distress. He waited in silence and for that she was grateful. He didn't try to get an explanation out of her, even though he definitely looked confused.

"Thank you, Mr. Gordon. I'm so sorry for this, I just..."

"Don't worry about it. It was our fault. Nobody was supposed to be here at this time and the Joker definitely shouldn't have been able to get as close as he did. I'm sure he gave you a fright, but don't worry, we have him now. He can't hurt anybody anymore."

"No, it was my fault, I insisted on staying. And I hope you're right. I'm sorry for asking, but how can you be...?"

"Alive? Well, it's a complicated story. Let's just say it all worked for the best. We managed to finally put the Joker where he deserves. But what about you, why were you in the station tonight?"

"I came here because I need to tell you something. I don't know if it can help anymore, but even if it's useless now..."

Alice didn't get to finish her sentence. The door opened and a worried looking cop entered the room. He looked briefly at Alice, but quickly directed his agitated words to Gordon.

"He's taken them, Jim. The bastard has them, I know it," said the cop, trembling from rage.

"What are you talking about...?" said Gordon.

"Harvey and Rachel. They've disappeared, they never made it home."

"What?! But they were supposed to be under our care, it's impossible!"

"We've lost track of them for some time now."

"That son of bitch! Where do you have him? I want to see him, now!" Gordon stood up, his hands balled into fists.

"He's in the east wing, we've moved him to the interrogation room. We tried everything, but the damn clown won't talk."

Alice tried to hold back an apology. _It wasn't her fault_ , she had to repeat to herself. She wasn't responsible for his actions, not anymore. The lieutenant was already leaving the room.

"Just stay here Alice, you'll be safe in my office. We can talk when I get back."

She just nodded back and saw them leave the room in a rush. That man said the Joker had taken Harvey and his girlfriend, but how was that possible? He had been here the whole time. She really hoped they were fine, but something told her something terrible had happened. She was too tired to think. Alice realized she hadn't slept much these last days, and the stress was starting to shut her down. She should be going home, as far away as she could from that man, but she convinced herself to wait for Gordon. She would leave after talking with him, she told herself, after making sure everything was ok.

As she was falling asleep, she could feel an eerie aura enveloping her. Like a strong pull, a magnet, that connected her to this place. She felt it was never her choice to stay there, as it was never her choice to return to Gotham. It was that man, held only meters away from her, that held her captive. She felt herself trapped, even though it was the Joker who was locked away.

Alice surrendered herself to sleep once again, running away from those haunting thoughts. Unluckily for her, it seemed that day she wasn't meant to get much sleep. She was awakened shortly, in the same abrupt way than before.

"Miss Dahlman, we need you to come with us."

She slowly opened her eyes. It was hard for her to recognize Gordon's voice at first, it sounded different. Still clouded by sleep, she tried to understand the sudden change.

"What is it? What happened?"

Gordon avoided her eyes and held the door open for her to follow him out of his office. She didn't understand his cold demeanor towards her. What was going on?

"It's the Joker. He refuses to tell us where he's holding Harvey and Rachel." Just for a second, he looked back at her with confused and defeated eyes. "I wouldn't be asking this of you in any other situation, but he said he'll only talk to one person about it. God knows why, but he said your name, Alice. He asked to speak with you. We don't know what else to do and we're desperate. We need you to help us, two lives are depending on it."

* * *

Sooo sorry for the wait! It's really difficult for me to find time to write these days, but I try to manage anyway. I hope you liked this chapter, sorry we didn't see much of the Joker here, but I promise you the next chapter will make up for it. I don't know if any of you noticed, but I changed Alice's last name from Cooper to Dahlman (I suddenly realized I had named her like the band Alice Cooper lol). Thanks again to my lovely reviewrs and everyone that followed or favorited this story! I'll try not to desapoint you ;)  
See you soon!


	7. Chapter 7

Newwww update! Enjoy, everyone. Sorry for the delay, I have been really busy these days. There's a lot of the Joker here to make it up to you.

* * *

 _This was insane_. She stood there, in front of the door. Alice couldn't find the strength to open it, she already knew what was waiting for her on the other side. Or rather, who. _Why had she agreed to this?_

She heard Gordon's soft cough behind her.

"You can always say no, you know that, right? We're not going to force you to go through this. He's a madman, Alice. God knows if he even intends to really tell us anything useful."

"I have to at least try... I can't let them die without giving it a chance," she whispered. Alice closed her hands, trying to hide her trembling fingers. She actually shared Gordon's doubts, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

"I've already made my decision." She really tried to sound confident, but she was far from it.

"We'll be right beside you, watching everything. If anything gets out of control, we will take over in a second. Just... try to keep your distance, no matter what he says. We don't know what to expect."

Alice looked back at him, but for some reason he wouldn't meet her eyes. She took a deep breath and nodded to no one, taking a step forward.

"I'm going in, keeping him waiting any longer will only make him angrier," she said, without thinking. She noticed Gordon's confused face and understood she had said too much. How could she know that? She took that chance to finally find the courage to go inside and escape Gordon's sudden stare. But how could she forget about the other pair of eyes that were waiting for her inside? They were the real threat.

The door closed behind her soundlessly. The interrogation room was much bigger than she expected. It was a cold, damp, sad place.

"Couldn't stay away from me, could you?"

"You know it wasn't my choice," she answered with a frown, refusing to move from her spot beside the door.

He sat there, on the other side of the table, leaning back on his chair. He looked funny doing that in a nonchalant way, when in fact he was handcuffed to his seat. If his feet suddenly slipped he could break his neck against the floor, she thought. _Why the hell would she worry about those things at a time like that?_ She looked away, it was easier to concentrate that way, especially since he insisted on staring at her like that.

"What are you playing at? Why did you call me here?" She decided to take a bold approach, he had always enjoyed the smell of weakness in people.

"Tssk, so _aggressive_. Calm down, love. I just want to, uh, have a simple chat. Come here, it's hard to talk when you're so far away. Take a seat."

"I'm fine. I can hear you from where I'm standing."

"Doll, don't test me, I wasn't asking. S _it down_."

Her brave front crumbled. Alice hesitantly sat down on the seat in front of him. She was too close, definitely too close. She could see the cracks in his makeup. She had always wondered if he bothered cleaning it every day and reapplying the paint. It was an action so ordinary and human that she found it hard to picture him doing it for some reason. She could also hear him breathing, and it mesmerized her. Even the fact that he breathed - _that it was Jack breathing-_ sounded absurd. Those realizations, every little hint of life in him, made her stumble in the dark. Like she had lost herself in a kind of limbo, filled with ghosts.

"That's much better, don't you think?" he said.

She didn't have to study him all she wanted, even though he was chained up now and supposedly harmless. She wasn't here for him.

"Where are you keeping them?"

"Who, _dar_ ling?"

"You know who I'm talking about. _Them_ , Harvey and Rachel."

"Oh, how impatient... You're spoiling all the fun."

"It's not fun for anybody, Ja..." She stopped herself on time. She had almost said it, his real name.

The Joker smirked, noting her slip, but letting it pass.

"It definitely is, _for me_. So, what's your, uh, offer? What... don't tell me you didn't come prepared."

"Offer..?"

"Of course, nothing comes for free, sweetheart. Did you think my information would be any different?" he said, his smirk only growing. "So, what do you have to offer in return?"

"I... I don't..." She felt stupid now, why had she thought it would be that easy?

"Oh, you seem a little bit lost. Let me help you, I'll give you some ideas. What about a little kiss to start?"

"What? Are you crazy?" It just blurted out, but she knew it was the wrong choice of words.

The Joker's smile widened to horrific proportions.

"I wouldn't ask that, honey. You really don't want to know _how_ crazy I can be. And if you don't like my offer, you can just say no. After all, who cares what happens to dear Harvey and Rachel?"

"You bastard... This isn't a joke."

"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here. I'm giving you a choice, after all. It's in your hands."

She watched him lick his lips in anticipation, he was enjoying this.

"That's not true and you know it. One of them involves two people dying," she said, barely containing her anger.

"There's always a decision to make, even if you don't like any of the alternatives. You can _choose_ to stay, or _choose_ to leave _._ But from what I recall, youalways loved to run away from things, didn't you, _Lis_?"

This couldn't be happening. She looked at the mirror in one of the walls. She knew they were watching, why didn't they do something? What were they waiting for?

" _Don't look at them, look at me_ ," he growled, leaning forward. "They can't hear us."

Of course they could hear them, that's how the interrogation room worked. So why did he look so smug? Seeing her confused face, he explained:

"It was one of my conditions for this little conversation. They had to turn off their little microphones. I would never allow them to eavesdrop on our conversation, after all, we need our privacy, don't we? You see that black thing over there, with that tiny button?" He pointed with his head to one of the corners. "Well, you should see a red light if it was on. I know because I saw them turn it _off_ at my request. So you see, I may be, uh, locked up, but I'm still in charge around here, love. _You should never have stepped in through that door_."

Alice sat frozen in her spot, staring at his smug face, while the situation slowly sank in. When had things changed so quickly? He had taken control over everything with so much ease that she hadn't even seen it coming.

"Don't blame them honey, they were so desperate to save their shining knight, they were willing to do anything really. Even sell you out to the _big bad wolf_."

"They didn't..."

She didn't sound confident, because she really wasn't. Doubts were creeping inside her. _How could they've agreed to this?_ They had no idea what was happening inside, they could only watch them sitting there.

"But they _did_. Poor Alice, you should know better than to trust anyone. People always lie to you, except _me_. I would never, uh, lie to you, honey."

"Shut up, just... stop." Alice couldn't think, she was beginning to crumble. She felt betrayed, alone, vulnerable, and he was just taking advantage of that. If he kept on talking she was afraid of believing him, of wanting to. They had just left her alone there, Gordon and everybody else.

"Stop what? It's only the _truth_ , Lis. Did you think someone would give a damn about us? That a fancy job could erase your past? We are the Narrow's bastards, we don't get to have a nice future and you know that. The only bright future we can get is one illuminated with the flames of this rotten city. And I'll make sure to light this city for you."

"Can you hear yourself? You can't condemn a whole city for what happened to you, you will destroy innocent people too!"

"No one is innocent, even the smallest kid is already destined to be corrupted by Gotham. Don't you see? Everyone _thinks_ they're innocent because they haven't stolen, they haven't killed, when actually the worst crimes are done without a drop of blood, inside the system. I'm just contributing to Gotham's inevitable end, hurrying things up. "

"Please... Stop this. I know who you are, Jack, and you're more intelligent than anybody I've ever known. You know this is going nowhere. You're caught, it's over. Why don't you tell me where they are and spare two innocent people. Hurting them isn't going to change anything, please..."

"Ah, ah, ah, not so fast. My condition still stands: the kiss and then the address. Although it's cute you actually _begged_ for their lives. And I don't mean to hurry you, but you have ten minutes left."

"Ten minutes for what?"

"Oh, it's a surprise. But I'm sure it will _blow_ your mind."

Alice saw him smile his terrible smile and her eyes widened. _He was going to blow them up,_ he was insane.

"You didn't have a problem kissing me the other day, if I recall. Is it the audience what's bothering you?"

"I'm not kissing you, Jack. Last time was a mistake, I wasn't thinking. You definitely don't feel anything for me anymore, so why ask for this? Is this some sort of punishment, a reminder?"

He smiled at her, seeming to enjoy her look of confusion and vulnerability. He rested his back on his chair and sighed.

"Don't be naive, Lis, you're smarter than that. I'm not resentful. Who has time for that? What matters is now, not the past. And _now_ , I'm enjoying this little game with you, more than I thought. So you better keep up with it, cause you don't get to quit until it's finished."

"And when is it going to finish? When I'm dead? Is that what you want?"

"Oh, you were always so dramatic. Of course not, that would too _easy_. I'm not one for quick exits."

"Let them go and we'll play any game you want. Just... tell me where they are."

"Seven minutes, Lis," he said, while looking at the mirror and sticking his tongue at all the invisible policemen behind it.

That's what he wanted to show her, wasn't it? _Everyone is responsible for their actions, everyone has a choice._ So it was her decision if she wanted to leave or not. Nobody would stop her or even blame her, but she knew she would be signing two death sentences at the same time. She looked back at the mirror, through the corner of her eyes. They were all watching her, what were they thinking? Could they guess what kind of a messed up conversation they were having? She didn't think so.

There was only one thing left to do and she already knew what it was. The men behind the glass wouldn't be of any help after all. She closed her eyes with a defeated sigh and then looked back at him. His eyes were staring back and there was a victorious smile plastered in his face. He knew she had made up her mind, he could read her like an open book. Alice stood up and walked to his side. Her feet moved on her own and she was now standing right in front of him. _It's just a small kiss, he's tied up, how bad can it be?_ With reluctance, she leaned down, and brushed his lips with hers, noticing his scarred cheeks tensing up with his smirk. After a few seconds she heard steps running towards the door. The police had finally caught up to the situation. _Took them long enough_. With a relieved sigh, she moved away from him.

"Ok, that's enough. Now where..."

She could never end that sentence, because a scream escaped her mouth when she felt a body charging against her. He was supposed to be in handcuffs, she had seen them. But his hands were now more free than her own, as they were now pinning her to the table. She heard the door opening behind her and people coming in screaming, but she couldn't understand anything except for the jagged breaths mixed with mad laughs that flooded her ears. She felt his wet tongue caressing her neck, and she screamed again. His body was pressed completely on top of hers, she felt each one of his muscles tensing over her. She could even sense the smell of his paint.

"Joker, let her go! I'll take you out right now if you don't, I swear. Step away from her!"

Alice heard Gordon's shouts through the chaos, he sounded scared. They weren't expecting any of this.

"I think not, lieutenant. You see, I'm too close to dear Alice here and you wouldn't risk the shot. Besides you still need me if you want to find Harvey Dent and his girlfriend alive. But you know what, I'm feeling in a good mood now, so I'll tell you where they are. Just come back in five minutes and I'll..."

"Step away from her, _now_!"

"Ok, ok... you can't even help a friend out here. And I was just getting somewhere interesting with her, too bad." He caressed her cheek and looked at her as she shook violently beneath him, staring at him with a mixture of panic, shame and rage. "Shh, shh, calm down, the good policemen are here to rescue you. I'm sorry I got too excited at the end, honey, I couldn't help it, I lost control. Those things tend to happen to me around you lately. But a deal is a deal. Sooo, commissioner, I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. There is not one location, but _two._ Come on guys, write this down. Your little friend district attorney is in 250, 52 St. And his blushing bride to be is at, uh, Avenue X and Cicero. Hurry up, you only have 5 minutes left."

Gordon shouted some orders and in an instant she was surrounded by policemen and the Joker was immobilized on the floor. She tried to stand up from the table, but her legs didn't respond and she ended up on the floor with a cry. While an officer helped her stand up, she looked at the clown held down by the others, in a fit of laughter. She had had enough, she wanted to go home, as far away as she could from this place and from him. Alice tried to make her legs work and go to the door. Her back ached with each movement she made, the crash with the metal table had left some bruises on her. The laughing went on and on, even though the policemen were telling him to shut up and punched him. She didn't want to look back. But she stopped on her tracks when she heard that familiar voice again.

"You know what's _funny_? They're never going to make it. The bombs went off a second ago. They're both dead."

That last comment was too much for her. She turned around and charged against him, throwing herself over him and slapping him with all her might. She even managed to claw him and left a bloody mark on his cheek, to go with his old scars. The officers held her back and took her out of the room, but she kicked and screamed all the way. Her words echoed through the police station as they carried her outside.

 _I hate you, I hate you, I hate you._


	8. Chapter 8

I'm back! Just finished writing this, it's a loong chapter with a loot of the Joker in it, so I hope you like it. I want to thank again all my lovely reviewers and everyone that's been following this story, hope I don't disappoint you.

There's a song in this chapter, you'll know when you read it. In case you're wondering which song it is, it's Blood Is Love, by Queens of the Stone Age ( watch?v=FQ_kPsZhJkw).

Well, I'll stop talking now, enjoy!

* * *

She had been standing there for a couple of minutes now. The cops had left her in that spot, in front of the door, tired of her struggles. _Go home_ , they had said, and went back. Probably to beat the shit out of the Joker. Alice felt so stupid, what had she expected when she walked past that door?

She looked back and hesitated with rage and disappointment. An image of Harvey and Rachel's bodies, burned to the crisp, suddenly invaded her mind and made her want to through up. A small piece of her held on to the thought of them still being alive somehow, but she tried to bury it. _No use in being naive, not now_. She turned around and started walking towards the exit. She should just go home. She was almost at the door, when she heard the explosion. Or rather felt it, because before she could register what happened, the sheer force of the blast had thrown her to the wall. Alice collapsed to the floor. Her head was spinning, her vision blurry and she couldn't seem to hear anything around.

As she looked up, a silent hell stared back at her. The station was wrecked, there were a few people on the floor, most of them unconscious, including the receptionist who had talked to her just a couple of hours before. There was smoke everywhere and the door that went to the cells, where she had just come from, had been blasted away. Beyond the threshold there was only fire. What had happened? She felt something running down her forehead and down her face. She wiped it away and discovered it was blood. The reality of the situation kicked in, she panicked. _She had to get away from there, now_. Alice tried to stand up, but her legs wouldn't work. Every second that passed she felt even more dizzy, it was hard to think straight. After a few attempts, her knees finally gave away and she collapsed back to the floor, her head bumping against the cold tiles. Her cry of pain was followed by a fit of coughs. The smoke was burning down her throat and her head was pounding. She hurt everywhere and it was so hard to even breath. Maybe if she closed her eyes enough time, when she opened them she would discover this had all been a dream, just a nightmare.

She was almost unconscious when she saw him coming out of the fire. At first it was just a shadow hidden in between the smoke, but as he got closer he became more and more recognizable. He walked calmly, seemingly unfazed by the situation, whistling a happy tune in between the cries of the people on the floor. He carelessly kicked a few policemen that were on his way. He was dragging someone behind him, holding him by his handcuffs, as the man cried and begged for his life. She recognized him, it was Lau, the man they had arrested for working with the mob. Alice didn't breath, didn't move. He couldn't see her, she was too weak to put up a fight against him now. _Go away, come on, just leave._

But she knew she wasn't that lucky, he always had a way of finding her. His dark eyes spotted her on the floor and she couldn't look away. He didn't seem human, he was a demon appearing through the flames, cold and cruel. But that image didn't linger, it started to blur as dark spots invaded her vision. She could hear Lau's begs becoming louder, he begged for his family, he offered him money, but it was all useless. The Joker got tired of listening to him and without even looking back, kicked him in the stomach. Lau doubled over with a cry and fell silent.

 _She had to keep her eyes open, she had to stay awake._ Slowly, he walked her way and squatted in front of her, really close. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Hadn't he done enough? Hadn't he gotten what he wanted already? Her eyelids were too heavy, she was so tired. She didn't even realize she had closed her eyes until she opened them back again to find a hand running through her hair and his eyes staring at her, just inches away. His touch felt kind of nice, soothing almost, and she couldn't help relaxing a bit to it. He seemed to be debating something in his head, but she didn't have any energy left to wonder what. She was almost unconscious when he finally made up his mind. He lifted her off the floor and placed her over his shoulder, carrying her with him.

There were a few cameras in the station that still worked after the explosion. They would register that moment for future prying eyes: the Joker, holding Lau with one hand and securing an unconscious Alice against him with the other, as he left through the burning station's front door without a care in the world. Whistling.

* * *

 _"Wake up, Lis. You fell asleep again," he whispered in her ear._

 _Alice opened her eyes. He stood over her, next to the bench she had been laying on. Her back hurt and she felt her hands stiff after so much time spent in the cold. When had she fallen asleep?_

 _"I only fell asleep because you took so long. Where were you?" she said. Then she noticed there was blood on the neck of his shirt and sat up alarmed. "What happened?"_

 _"Nothing important," he said, sitting down next to her, resting his head on her lap._

 _"It's not nothing, Jack. Are you hurt? Let me see."_

 _"It's nothing, don't worry about it." He closed his jacket all the way up, hiding it from sight. "I'm just really hungry , let's go grab something to eat. Sorry for keeping you waiting, work's been busy these days."_

 _She hated when he called it "work"._

 _"You're not going to tell me what happened?"_

 _"Do you really want to know? What for, Lis?"_

 _"If you don't tell me where you've been I always imagine the worst."_

 _"What's the worst you can imagine?"_

 _"I don't know, Jack..."_

 _"Come on, think about it."_

 _"Is that even your blood?"_

 _"What if I told you it wasn't? What would you do? Would you leave me?"_

 _She hesitated for a few seconds. She sighed._

 _"No, I wouldn't."_

 _"What if I told you this was the blood of a man I hurt really bad._ _A man I killed._ _What would you do?" he said, his eyes filled with curiosity._

 _"Why are we talking about this?"_

 _"I'm just saying, you were the one who asked, you want to know and I want to know what for. You keep asking me these questions and I can give you answers, Lis, but for what?_ _Would it change anything?"_

 _"Even if it doesn't, I would want to know. Playing dumb doesn't make things disappear."_

 _"It certainly makes things lighter for you. You don't have to carry around my guilt for me, I don't want you to, I can do it myself. Guilt doesn't change anything, guilt paralyzes you and makes you suffer without doing anything. What good would it do you? I'm not going to quit yet and you won't leave, nothing would change. That's the truth, Lis."_

 _They sat there in silence for a while. She didn't know what to say, he was right. It scared her to think about it, what lengths she would go for him. She knew a day would come when everything she didn't want to see would come crashing down on her, probably not so far away, and it frightened her. The truth frightened her._

 _"Let's grab something to eat, I can't feel my fingers anymore." He stood up and leaned over her, kissing her forehead. He whispered, "Stop worrying that little head of yours, nothing bad is going to happen._ _Next month we'll be far away from here. This job won't change me, I promise."_

 _She just nodded, studying his face up close. She loved him so much she made herself believe him._ _It was Jack, not a stranger_ _. She would love him despite what people thought, despite what people said, despite her fears and doubts. She took the hand he offered her and stood up._

 _"I trust you."_

* * *

Alice woke up with a start, panting. She couldn't see anything for a moment. There was total darkness and she panicked. Her mind was also pitch black, illuminated only by quick flashes of memories, incoherent and chaotic: screaming, anger, laughter, fire. _The fire_ , she remembered that. There was an explosion. She had hit her head and blacked out. As she put things together, she recognized the place, despite the lack of light. It was her room, she was laying on her bed. She attempted to get up, but felt like a hundred needles were piercing through her brain. _Ok, moving was a bad idea._ How had she gotten there? The last thing she remembered was laying on the floor of the police station, between all the smoke and rubble. She should have woken up at a hospital or not woken up at all. But, there was something else... Someone else...

Everything became clear when she heard that voice singing. It came from inside the apartment, muffled by the sound of the shower. The water suddenly stopped running and she heard the shower curtains being drawn. Alice panicked. She looked at the window, her nearest exit. She lived on the third floor, she could survive the fall, maybe with a broken ankle. She had to try, before he walked in. She attempted to get up again, despite the pain. Just as her feet were about to touch the floor, she heard the door opening and froze, not even daring to turn around.

"Going somewhere, love?"

She looked at him an regretted it instantly. He was standing there, leaning on the doorway, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips. The makeup was gone, there was only pale skin marred by his long twin scars. As his hair was wet you almost couldn't see the green dye in it. Stray drops fell from his dark curls, sliding through his chest and disappearing under his towel. She looked away, embarrassed. _It's still the Joker._

"You could've joined me, you know? At the shower I mean," he said with a wink.

She looked back at him coldly. She wouldn't talk to him, what had that accomplished before? She just wished he would put on his makeup and clothes, this... this nakedness, in more way than one, took away some of his charade, made it more difficult. She looked down and pretended to ignore him. But he didn't like being ignored. She felt him stepping closer.

"Ok, I guess you're still angry because I killed your hero and his girlfriend," he said in a fake apologetic tone. "You should know it wasn't personal. It was just my job, you know. I had to pick up some Chinese delivery they had ordered and I needed a little distraction to get him out of Gordon's sight. But that Dent guy was definitely starting to annoy me, so it came in handy," he added with a smirk.

"You bastard."

"Oh! She talks! I was starting to worry."

"I talk, I just don't feel like talking to you anymore. Why are you here? Why did you bring me home?"

"Oh, I just found it rude to leave you laying there on the floor. That and if I had left you there with all the smoke you would've probably suffocated to death," he said, losing the smirk.

"Why didn't you let me die then?"

"Is it really so hard for you to think that I would want you alive?"

He walked through the room and stood in front of the window, looking out. His next words caught her off guard.

"Do you remember when you used to wait for me at night? Most of the times you fell asleep, but I always looked up anyways, to see if I could spot your face in your tiny window. I still do sometimes, out of habit, when I go back wherever it is that I'm sleeping that day. But the windows are always empty."

She didn't answer, she didn't know what to say. Why would he tell her that? Why couldn't he just act like the Joker all the time? It would be easier. She had noticed his voice was differently now. It wasn't only the makeup that changed him. His expressions, his eyes, they were not those of a mad clown anymore. Was it because nobody was watching?

He turned around and got closer to the bed, Alice backed away until her back hit the wall. It didn't matter what he looked like now, she knew what he did and she couldn't play dumb like she had done in the past. She didn't know what he was capable of anymore.

Jack slowly rested one knee on top of her bed and, with an almost innocent smile, placed his hands on the wall, on both sides of her face. He had trapped her between him and the wall. He leaned over her and her breaths got rougher, as if she was running out of air, caged. She closed her eyes, trying to escape.

"What are you afraid of, Lis?" he whispered in her ear. "I don't think it's me."

When she opened her eyes, he had already left the room. She sat there, her mind blank. Time went by but he didn't come back and neither did she hear the front door. Had he left? Finally her anxiety and impatience were too much, she stood up and followed him.

She went pass the bathroom: no one there, just a wet floor and a steamed up mirror with a smile drawn in it, a reminder of its recent intruder. Alice walked down the hall, nervous. Her living room and kitchen were connected, so there were no other places to hide. At first, when she stepped in the room, she thought he had really left, there was no one there. But with a closer inspection she saw a purple coat hanging next to the door. He wouldn't leave without it. At last, she found him. He was sitting on the coach, unmoving. She could only see the back of his head, where his hands rested intertwined. His dark curls had started to dry up and had a hint of green in them already. She warily walked around and sat down on the coach opposite his.

His eyes were closed. He had already got dressed, luckily. He looked peaceful, lying there. _Appearances can be deceiving_. But for a while she forgot the strangeness of it all, it felt normal somehow, him being there. She was taken aback by how human it was that he seemed tired, how ordinary.

He opened one eye and looked back at her.

"I hope you don't mind me crashing here for a while, I'm exhausted for the day."

"You can't."

"I wasn't asking, love," he said with a half smile, while he closed his eyes again. "Don't worry, I won't stay long. The police will probably be looking for you, although I bet they're busy with other things right now. Like telling their district attorney how they couldn't save his girlfriend."

"What?" She stared at him with disbelief.

"Oh, I didn't tell you? He's alive, Harvey Dent. He's _burning_ with life, that one. You could consider him lucky, they managed to get to him in time. Although I bet he doesn't see himself that way," he said with a laugh. "After all, _Miss Dent_ wasn't that lucky."

Alice stood up with disgust.

"Do you get a sick pleasure out of this? Watching someone loose the one he loves?"

"It happened to me and look how well I handled it," he said, with a dark grimace. "Maybe he'll even find her alive in seven years, fucking some other guy and hating his guts too. That would be nice, wouldn't it?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm and his eyes turned darker with every word.

"How did you...?" she said, with panic.

"Oh come on, Lis. Did you think I wouldn't find out? I've done my homework, I know everything there is to know about you now. I know about your oh so generous dead grandma, I now where you lived all this time, where you went to college, where you work. You thought I wouldn't know who you _fucked_ too? You underestimate me, love"

"You better stay away from him..."

"Or what? I think I'm entitled a little _chat_ with this guy, aren't I? _David,_ wasn't it?"

"He's got nothing to do with this. What we had was over a long time ago."

" _Ha_ , over _._ Who said it was? You just went away and thought I would disappear, as if it had never happened, didn't you?"

He stood up from the coach. He didn't seem harmless anymore. He looked like the Joker again as he hovered over her, his tongue snaking through his lips. His hand caught her face and gave her a soft caress.

"You can say what you want, Lis, but you know the truth. You know what you _want_."

"I've got nothing to do with you anymore and I definitely don't want you," she said, looking away.

"Oh, but you do. You've got _everything_ to do with me. You made me, honey. All those stories I tell about my scars are just a bunch of lies I tell for fun. But _you_ , you're my real story. You think this thing, this clown, was created by the mob? By the scars they left on my face? Hey, look at me. They _wished_ they could've done it. But they didn't. No, love, it was you. This monster was born in a fire, when he knew he had lost _everything_. That's when I finally understood making plans was in vain. Trying to control things, trying to fight how things really are, is useless. But people don't understand this yet. One bomb, one dead commissioner and they lose it. They should just lighten up, _like me_. I'll teach them."

Alice stared back at him with a mix of horror, sadness and unwanted guilt. His naked face and his wiry scars hypnotized her in a terrible way. She stepped back, freeing herself from his prying hands, while his words kept coming out. She was sinking in them.

"The first time I saw you again, I thought I had finally lost it, I had _really_ become mad," he continued. "When I was sure it was really you, I felt naked, weak. Like that stupid boy, bleeding to death in the street because of his _plans_. You made me feel like that scrawny little kid again, so I wanted you _gone_. And I could have arranged that so easily. It seemed you had even done it yourself, when you followed me that day into the alley. But well, things didn't go exactly as planned..." he said, laughing to himself.

"What stopped you?" Alice had stopped moving, too entranced with his story to care about anything else. She needed to know what he was thinking.

"I don't know. I've been, thinking about it, and I have, uh, a little theory. You see, caring makes you weak. If you care enough about something, people know how to get to you. That was my strength: I simply didn't care about anything or anyone. But that kind of indifference is so _boring_. Imagine jumping off a cliff, where's the adrenaline there if you're not afraid to die? If you don't give a fuck? There's no fun in that at all. It's almost as if you're already dead, everything seems the same. That was until _you_ came. When I kissed you in that alley I felt it, a sort of rush, and I hadn't felt anything like it in a long time. It was kind of addicting," he said, closing the distance between them.

"Stay where you are, don't come closer, Jack."

"It's as I said before: it's not me you're afraid of. Is it knowing that you love a murdered what frightens you?"

"Stop it, I don't."

"I think what you're really afraid of is what can happen if you let go. Forget your guilt for a second, what's the worst that can happen?"

Alice retreated to the kitchen. She had been naive enough before to think she was in charge of the situation, when she clearly wasn't. Things were getting out of control. She bumped against the kitchen counter. With her right hand, behind her back, she felt the drawers. Slowly, she opened one and grabbed a knife from it.

"I said I want you to leave me alone," she said, pointing it at him. "I may have been in love with you before, but that was a long time ago. You promised not to let anything change you and look what you've become. A man who murders to kill his boredom. I feel sorry for you."

He seemed unfazed by her words or actions. His attention was on a radio that stood in a small stand on the corner. She watched with confusion as he turned it on and music invaded the apartment. He changed the channels, taking his time to pick one. Different voices and instruments alternated their presence in the room.

"I mean it Jack, you have to leave. If not, I'll make you," she said. Her hand trembled slightly, she tried to keep her voice from doing it. "I'm not afraid of you."

He just laughed and kept playing with the radio. He didn't seem to be taking her serious at all. She was about to lose control and scream at him just to get him to listen, when he finally found something in the radio that he deemed good enough. It started as a weird carnival music that went round and round like a carrousel. He looked up, with a devious grin, and offered her his hand.

"Come on, Lis. Let's dance."

Before she could answer, he had crossed the whole room and stood before her. One of his hands grabbed hers and he placed the other one in her back, drawing her close, not caring about the sharp knife in between then.

"Didn't you listen to anything I've said."

"Oh, I listened, I just don't care. Come on, let's have some _fun_."

Alice watched him with disbelief as he dragged her along with him. He started spinning them around the room. Round and round they went, as in a waltz. The music had suddenly gone from an ominous circus to a guitar blasting through the radio with a hard rhythm and a fast pace.

"This isn't funny! Let me go or I'll hurt you."

"Go ahead," he said with a smirk, closing even more the distance between them, placing her armed hand inches away from his neck. "Just let go a bit, Lis. You worry too much. Why would you care if you hurt me, I thought you hated me. Or was that a lie?"

"It was not! It's just..." She was mesmerized with the drop of blood that slid down his neck. The knife had pierced through his skin just barely.

"It's just what, love? If I'm such a monster, if you hate me, wouldn't it be better if I was, uh, _dead_? Come on, don't be shy. Prove to me how you don't care. If you don't love me anymore, stab me right here, right now. Be Gotham's hero."

"Stop this! You think I can't do it? Is that what you want to prove?" He just wouldn't stop spinning them and she couldn't manage to get away from his forceful grip. "Why wouldn't I want to hurt you after all you've done, with all you plan to do?"

" _Then do it_. Stab me, run away, call the police. They will surely understand, it was self defense, you were alone with a dangerous criminal after all. Stab me, come on. _Do it_."

She was starting to get dizzy, she needed to stop, to slow down, but he wouldn't let her. The music kept on playing loudly while they spun through the room. Her head started to hurt again, she couldn't think. She could just watch with horror as the knife inched closer to him every second.

"I'll kill him I swear," he whispered in her ear. "I'll murder your _dear David_ in the most painful way you can imagine and I'll hang him in the street for everyone to see. I'll place bombs in these city until there's not one building left standing. I'll destroy Gotham and everyone in it. So come on, do it _. Kill me, kill me, kill me_ ," he said, with maniac eyes that stared straight into hers.

He pushed her against the wall, holding her down with one hand, while the other kept her her knife placed right next to his neck.

"Stop! I can't...!" she screamed, sobbing, finally breaking down. "I just can't."

The was a metallic sound as the knife collided with the floor. She bent over crying, resting her head against his chest.

"You see, Lis, I don't give up, _never_ ," he said, holding her face between his hands, making her look at him with her teary eyes. "So if you don't kill me now, be certain I'll do everything I said I would. You'll have to accept the fact that you simply don't care, not about the other people, not about the murders, not about whatever I do. Not really. But it's fine, you can be selfish sometimes. _Let go of the guilt_."

"I hate you so much," she muttered, in between sobs.

"I'm afraid you don't, honey. Not nearly enough to get rid of me. So you better get used to seeing me around."

Someone knocked on the door. She looked up while he turned around and cursed. Alice opened her mouth to scream but before she could say a word, his hand was over her lips, pressing them shut.

"Shhh, don't think even think about it. Remember who's on this side of the door and what I can do. You don't want to be responsible for their deaths, do you?"

She looked at him with hate but didn't say anything. He was right, she couldn't risk someone's life, whoever it was.

"That's better," he added with a smirk.

They heard another insistent knock and a voice followed it.

"Alice! Alice open up! We know you're in there, we can hear the noise. Are you ok?" She recognized Gordon's worried voice.

The Joker's smirk crumbled, replaced by a grimace.

"Always interrupting, spoiling all the fun," he said, looking sideways. "I should stay and teach them good manners." Seeing Alice's panicked eyes made him laugh. "Don't worry, honey, I've had enough fun for the day."

The knocks on the door became louder and more insistent.

"Alice open up or you'll have to break down the door!"

"I think that's my cue to leave. I'll see you around, Lis," he said, removing his hand from her mouth and giving her a quick bruising kiss, before going to the window and disappearing through the stairs of the fire escape.

Just a few seconds later, she heard a loud bang and saw the policemen coming in through the broken door. Some of them registered the apartment while Gordon checked her state, he seemed relieved by what he saw.

"You're ok," he said, more with relief, more to himself than as a question. "You're ok."

"Sir, the apartment's clear, there's no one else here. But we found traces of paint in the bathtub, we think he may have been here recently."

Gordon just nodded to them and then looked back at her, with a serious expression.

"What happened?"

Alice just stared at him. What _had_ happened? She tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out, she was stuck. When she felt Gordon's hands on her shoulders, she realized she was trembling, a lot.

"It's ok. He's gone now. I'm sorry, we should have never left you go in there alone with that madman. I'm so sorry. We'll make sure he doesn't hurt you anymore. We'll protect you this time."

That's what did it, those were the words that made her break down. She looked at him in the eyes and couldn't help it. She started crying so much, she would have collapsed if he hadn't held her. She couldn't stop, it all came pouring out and rocked her sobbing body. They couldn't protect her, no one could, it didn't matter what Gordon or anyone promised her. She was chained to him, 'til death. He was right, he always was. What she was really afraid of wasn't even him. It was herself, she was scared of the disappointment she felt as he left through the window. Even though she tried to deny it, she knew the truth.

When the paramedics arrived she wasn't crying anymore. She was sitting on the floor, in silence, staring at nowhere. Gordon had tried talking to her but she wouldn't answer. He said she should go to a hospital, after seeing the dried blood in her head. As they carried her away towards the ambulance, he stood there watching with concern. He looked back at the apartment, as the last cops where preparing to leave, and noticed something next the radio. It was a joker card. He lifted it up, frowning with hatred. There was a little red heart drawn in it. And inside, "J + A" written in the middle.

"God help that kid," said Gordon, before leaving too.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm finally back from the dead. Sorry for the delay, but I'm on holidays now so expect new updates to be coming you're way soon. Besides I already have the next couple of chapters thought up. Enjoy.

* * *

When she woke up she felt light headed. She couldn't make out clear images at first, everything seemed to be merged together, a single white background. Everything, except for one little yellow stain next to her. She closed her eyes again and reopened them. The room had recovered its shapes and forms, although the whiteness was still there. She was at a hospital after all. She looked sideways and examined the yellow stain: David's blond hair, spread next to her on the mattress. She released a sigh. She was ok now, she was safe. Her hand caressed the soft strands of hair, trying not to wake him up. She looked at the clock on the wall and was surprised to find out it was already midday.

Alice felt David stir up. She caught sight of his half asleep eyes as he lifted his head. He was sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair and seemed to have slept hardly anything, but had a huge relieved smile as he looked at her.

"You're awake."

"Of course I am," she said, her voice sounding hoarse after so much time without using it. "It was only a little bump in the head, nothing serious."

"The doctors said you had a concussion," he said, looking at her with concern.

"Oh, so that's why they didn't let me sleep in peace and kept waking me up at night...," she said, with mock surprise.

"I'm serious, Alice. I was worried."

"I know," she said, looking away. "I'm sorry, for everything."

"What do you have to be sorry for? You're the victim here. The one who should be sorry is that damn Joker and the people who let him get away," he said, filled with anger.

She had never seen him like this, not David. That angry look in his face didn't suit him, he was supposed to have his everlasting smile on. But it seems the Joker had gotten to everyone, changed everything. She swiped her hand through his furrowed brow and his pursed mouth, trying to erase his expression.

"It's ok, I'm fine."

"What happened? The police didn't want to speak with me. I even showed them my press ID but that didn't work. They are hiding from reporters after their fiasco yesterday, they don't want people to know how the Joker escaped from their station right under their noses. It seems he even took Lao with him, it's a disaster. The only thing they told me was that you were injured while he was getting away. What were you doing at the police station?"

"Can we not talk about that? I really don't want to think about it right now. I promise you I will explain everything later," she said, closing her eyes. The bright lights hurt her head and made her dizzy. So did the subject at hand.

"Alice, I just... I want to help, but I feel you're keeping you're distance these days. Everything happens far away from me when you're involved and you never tell me what's going on. You're not even looking at me right now, and I'm in front of you. You're somewhere else, alone."

She opened her eyes and stared at him, surprised at his words. She had just ignored him all this time, saying it was for his own good. But he was there and he saw past her attempts. He wasn't stupid, she shouldn't treat him like he was.

"You're right. But right now I just..." Not there, she couldn't talk about it there. "Can I stay at your house today? I promise I'll tell you everything tonight. And I really don't want to spend the night at home."

He looked at her for a couple of seconds in silence and then nodded.

"Of course. You can stay as long as you want, you know that."

She knew it would be risky, if she involved him in all this. But she had realized she couldn't do this on her own. And most of all, she couldn't sleep in her apartment. Not now that she knew how easily someone could slip in unnoticed.

"I hate hospitals, I want to leave already."

"I'll talk to the doctors, I'll ask them if they can let you go home today." He stood up. "I'll go grab something to eat from the cafeteria. Do you want something? You must be hungry."

She realized she hadn't eaten anything since yesterday.

"Whatever you can find that looks edible."

"I'll be right back," said David, stretching up and walking to the door.

"Thank you Dave... for being here," she said, as he was about to leave.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a small smile. "Where else would I be?"

As he disappeared through the door, her smile fell and she closed her eyes again. She was going to tell him this time, she really was. About her past and about Jack. He needed to know what he was getting into and decide if she was worth the risk. Even if his answer was no and she was left alone for good this time. Alone with the Joker.

Someone knocked on the door. It was too soon to be David and she couldn't think of many people in Gotham who cared about her enough to come to see her.

"Come in."

The door opened and Gordon's head suddenly appeared through it.

"Sorry, I was around and I wanted to check on you. Did I wake you?"

"No, come in. I just woke up actually." She was uncomfortable in his presence, remembering her reaction last night. She had completely broken down in front of him and felt embarrassed now.

"Well, you needed the rest. You've been through a lot yesterday. How's your head doing?"

"Fine, I just have a small headache and I'm a little dizzy, buy I guess it's normal."

"I stopped by before, but you had company and I didn't want to intrude. Actually I just ran into your visitor in the hallway."

"Oh, yeah. David. I think he's been here all night, he should really get some proper sleep."

"He seems like a nice kid. Boyfriend?"

"Kind of." She tried to hide her grimace, as she remembered the last time someone had asked about her relationship with David, with quite a different tone.

Gordon cleared his throat and adopted a serious expression.

"Actually, I know it's not the best time, but I'm here to ask you some questions about yesterday. We need to know what happened in your house, Alice. We know that the Joker was the one who brought you home after the explosion, what we don't know is why. He seems to have singled you out for some reason."

"What do you mean?" Whatever reasons she had to talk about her past with the police were gone, as was her trust in them after last night.

"A lot of people died in the police station yesterday. Not only the people who were near the explosion, but a lot of people in the building suffocated to death in there, as the place caught fire. But he took you with him, he saved you. Not only that, but he knew where you lived, took you there and left you unharmed. These are strange actions coming from a man like him, not exactly known for his mercy. And even before that, he demanded to speak with you alone in the interrogation room. He might have known your name from the news and recognized you somehow at the station, but why ask for you? Why would he get you involved?"

"I don't know," she tried her best to sound believable. "I don't know what he wanted and I don't understand what happened either. Maybe he was just angry because I took his picture."

"What did he tell you in the interrogation room? We could see you two talking but we couldn't hear what was going on."

"I know, he told me," she said, her voice sounding harsher than she intended.

Gordon seemed ashamed and looked away.

"I didn't know at the time, I would have never agreed to it if I did," he said.

Alice sighed. It didn't change anything, they had used her and they would do it again if they had the chance.

"He didn't say anything useful, he just said he would give me information if I... did what he asked. He just wanted to mess with my head and stall time, I think. He had it planned since the beginning." Gordon looked back at her, his face turning grim. "We never stood a chance of saving them, he was just playing with us."

He sat down next to her and rubbed his eyes.

"And in the apartment? Did he tell you anything? Like what he was planning, what he had done to Lao...?"

"I was unconscious when he dropped me there, I didn't wake up until later and I never saw Lao there. He must have dropped him somewhere before. He didn't say much, just took a shower and said he 'needed somewhere to crash for a while'. I don't know anything else, sorry," she said, telling partially the truth.

"Don't worry about it, it was a long shot anyway, that he told you his plans. Can I ask you one last question?" he said, staring at her curiously. "Yesterday you told me you had something you needed to say to me, why you were in the station that day. What was it?"

She had forgotten about that. She searched quickly for something to say, an excuse.

"It was nothing. I just wanted to tell you... you had the wrong guy. Harvey Dent couldn't be Batman." She hoped it didn't sound as fake to him as it did to her. "I remembered someone told me they had found Harvey unconscious at the party in one of Wayne's rooms, while everyone was trying to escape. There was no way that he could be Batman, he wouldn't have had the time to climb back up so fast after throwing himself out of the window. Just wanted to tell you and spare an innocent man. Although it turned out to be useless..."

She regretted bringing up the subject of Harvey Dent, as she remembered the recent events. She could tell Gordon was skeptical, he didn't buy it, but he chose not to confront her about it. It made her feel guilty. She was cutting her connection with the man who had helped her, she was pushing him away.

"You know you can trust us, right? Our actions last night didn't help to prove it, but we can still protect you, Alice. It's better to have all the information we can get, so we know what to expect."

"I know, but I'm telling you all I know. This things that happened... I didn't chose them nor do I understand them."

Gordon just nodded with resignation.

"Oh, before I forget, we found this in your apartment last night, laying on the floor."

He handed Alice her cell phone. She hadn't noticed she didn't have it with her.

"I thought you would need it to let people know you are ok."

"I actually don't have anyone to call," she said with a small voice, blushing when she realized how sad she sounded. "But thanks for bringing it."

"Don't mention it. Just be careful ok? Try to avoid being alone. Are you going back home today? We can find you somewhere safer to sleep."

"I'm staying at David's house tonight."

"That's good. Well, we'll check up on you tomorrow and maybe we can talk some more about this. Get better Alice, you know where to call if you need anything," he said, as he turned towards the door.

"Wait." Gordon halted at the door. "How is he?"

"Who?"

"Harvey," she whispered.

She could see Gordon's face darken, as he looked at her sideways.

"He's as good as he can be right now, considering his injuries. But it's not the physical damage what I'm worried about, he's not... in a good place right now. He'll get better in time. Hopefully sooner than later, we all really need him." He said, almost to himself. He looked up and noticed her worried expression. "It's not your fault, you know that, right? If it wasn't for you he wouldn't even be alive right now. He's on this same floor, the last door down the hall. Although I wouldn't go see him right now if I were you."

"Why?" she said, with a trembling voice.

"He needs some time alone," he said, as he closed the door. "He's not the Harvey Dent we knew."

* * *

"I don't like this. I feel it's not... It's not right," said Gordon, as he scanned the rooftop to check no one was listening.

"Don't worry about it, this isn't going to trace to you. It wasn't your idea after all, it was mine. You can say you didn't know anything," said the rough voice, belonging to the dark figure in front of him.

"It's not that! I'm not afraid because it's illegal, it just doesn't feel right. I don't feel comfortable putting a GPS on her phone."

"We're protecting her."

"By using her as bait? You are not interested in protecting her, you want to catch the Joker. It's him who you want."

"You'll have to let her go, you can't keep her under your wing permanently. And you know he's going to come after her, it's inevitable. We're just preparing for when he does. This way we can look after her and catch him at the same time. I need to stop him, Gordon, there's no other way."

"You're letting the past events blind you. You're sending her out in the open knowing she's in danger and just expect her to stay alive long enough for us to rescue her. What if she doesn't? What if we don't get her in time and he hurts her? We've already been through this."

"This time it will be different," he almost growled. "Besides, I don't think he wants to hurt her."

"You _think_? He's a psychopath, we can't possibly know what he wants."

Batman raised his hand, holding the card Gordon had showed him before: the Joker card with the initials in it. Gordon stared at it in silence.

"He may be a psychopath, but he's still a man. As much as he wants to hide it," said the masked man, almost to himself. Gordon wondered if he was still talking about the Joker.

"Do you think he's actually capable of caring about anyone?"

"I don't think that monster is capable of loving anyone, but maybe this is his twisted version of it. I think he's got some sort of obsession with her. Why would he keep running into her? Why would he go after her like this? I think Alice is not telling you the whole truth."

"I already know she isn't, what I don't understand is what she's hiding and why."

"Her past. It's all there. Have you looked into her file?"

"Yes, but there was nothing there. She graduated in journalism in a small city not far from here, moved to Gotham only last year. Her parents died when she was four, she ended up in an orphanage and her grandmother found her when she was seventeen and took care of her since. She died last year, that's probably why Alice moved here. The only strange thing was that I couldn't find anything about her years at the orphanage. I looked it up, and it seems the place burnt down not long after she left. All their files disappeared with it. It's like it never existed."

"That's it, that fire. They never found out who did it. The police suspected it was related to the mob, as a way of payback, but they could never prove it. Why would the mob burn down an orphanage?"

"I don't know. Maybe they had business with the people that run it and it didn't go well. Maybe their business was even with one of the kids, it's not strange for them to use orphans to do their dirty work. Maybe one of them made them angry. This still doesn't tell us what their connection is, Alice and the Joker's."

"If they share a past together, it's hidden there. I think that orphanage is the key to find out who he really is."

Gordon sighed with resignation and looked up into the night sky, wondering when had things become so complicated.

"Ok, we'll track her and see if it leads to him. But you're in charge of that GPS, I don't want anything to do with it. Just let me know if she's in danger and I'll be there... Batman...? Hello? Dammit, why does he always do that?"

* * *

Gordon had left and David still hadn't come back, so Alice had her first moment alone in that place. The silence of the room felt eerie, filled with unspoken words. Last night Gordon had brought her to the hospital himself, he had never left her alone. She felt bad now, she should have thanked him properly instead of feeling awkward and secretive in his presence. The man seemed to care about her, even though he had his suspicions about her and the Joker.

An unexpected noise startled her. It was her phone, ringing after a new message. _It must be David not knowing what kind of food to buy,_ she thought, laughing to herself. She really hoped it was him and not Bill trying to get an exclusive on what happened last night.

She picked up the phone from the table next to her and froze when she saw the message pop into the screen. She suddenly felt dizzy again.

 _Sleep well, doll?  
J._

She was back at her apartment and he was hovering over her, all over again. She didn't feel safe anymore and realized maybe she would never feel safe again. Not from him.

Alice didn't hear the door opening nor did she look up when David came in with a tray full of food.

"Well, I didn't know what to get, so I bought the whole cafeteria. I hope you're hungry... Alice?"

She quickly put away her phone and tried her best to fake a smile.

"Sorry, I spaced out. A friend sent me a message to check up on me."

"Someone I know?"

 _Someone I hope you never meet._

"No, just someone from my old town. She saw the news and was worried. Do you mind if we eat this in your house? I really want to get out of here." As much as she tried, she noticed her voice was trembling. David noticed too, and she was glad he decided not to ask her about it.

"Sure, let's go home."

Alice wrapped her arms around herself, feeling suddenly very conscious of her nakedness under her hospital gown.

"I don't know where my clothes are."

She hated this feeling of vulnerability, she wasn't used to it.

"Oh, let me get them for you. Just a second," said David, as he opened a drawer and pulled out her clothes. They were wrinkled and dirty, but luckily had no blood on them. He handed them to her.

"I'll let you change and tell the doctors you're checking out. I'll be right back."

Alice watched him leave again. When she was alone she picked up her phone and reread the message, hesitating. She typed a few words, then erased them. She put away her phone. It wouldn't help, answering would only encourage him. But there was someone else who she really needed to talk to, someone she should see before leaving. She still had a few minutes before David came back.

She changed quickly and left the room, checking there wasn't anyone in the hallway. Gordon said his room was on the same floor. She didn't care what he told her, she wanted to see him and knew she probably wouldn't have another chance. She walked down the hallway, until she got to the last door. There wasn't any guard standing by, she supposed it was to not draw attention on that particular patient. She slowly opened the door and closed it behind her.

He was laying there, asleep. The rise and fall of his chest calmed her. He was alive, she finally saw it with her own eyes. From her place next to the door he seemed almost peaceful, as if he hadn't been in an explosion, as if he hadn't just lost the love of his life. But when she stepped closer, the cruel reality sipped in. For some reason, he had taken off his bandages and had his face completely exposed. What she saw then didn't put her guilt and fear to rest, it made them worse. It was more gruesome than she had imagined, the burned flesh, the exposed muscle and bone. Whatever was on this man's mind would never be peaceful again. He was the personification of pain.

She looked away, as tears fell down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Harvey. I couldn't save you, any of you. I couldn't stop him."

She brushed away her tears and tried to compose herself. Alice didn't want to wake him up, she couldn't face him awake. She silently went back where she came from and left the broken remains of her hero behind.

* * *

"Sorry for all the mess, I left in a hurry last night and I wasn't expecting company."

David walked in quickly into the apartment, grabbing a few dirty dishes and an empty box of pizza and disappearing into the kitchen. It seemed like ages since she had been there. Being back felt good, it reminded her of a peaceful time, before all the chaos started. Before Jack had come back from the dead.

"Come on, Dave. You saw my apartment, you think I'm going to judge you?"

"I know you won't say anything, doesn't mean my apartment shouldn't look presentable," he answered, from the kitchen.

She smiled and plopped herself into the couch, letting her eyelids fall shut.

"I brought back all the food from the hospital, but I'm guessing it's not the best. We can always order Chinese if you want."

"It's fine, Dave. Whatever you have is good for me. Come, sit down."

David sat next to her and she leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her and brought her closer.

"I missed this," she said.

"Me too."

They let the silence fill the room. It was the right kind of silence this time, she thought. She felt less alone.

"Why didn't you want to go back home?"

Alice frowned, she had hoped to postpone this conversation as much as possible. She closed her eyes.

"There's more to the story than just the explosion. They didn't find me in the police station as you thought."

David waited for her to continue, both of them still laying in the same position next to each other.

"He... the Joker, he took me to my house after that. That's where they found me."

Alice saw his eyes widening, but he still didn't turn his head to face her. She supposed it was a way to let her tell her story, without judging her.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. But it wasn't nice."

She felt David's arm wrap more tightly around her.

"What did he want with you?"

She could hear their breaths, breaking the silence. It took her some time to find the words to answer.

"I knew him, David. I knew him from the past. Before he became what he is now, before he was the Joker. His name was Jack."

She didn't dare watch David's reaction, she just kept going. If she stopped her courage would disappear and she knew she wouldn't be able to find it again. And as the words fell out of her mouth and her tears started flowing, David didn't push her away as she thought he would, he didn't cringe and look at her with disgust. He just hugged her until she had told him everything, until there was nothing else to say, and then there was only silence again.

* * *

She laid there in bed, tracing circles around David's toned arm. He was already asleep, but she couldn't manage to do the same. She was constantly expecting the worse and every noise felt like a threat. She remembered the last hour and it all seemed like a dream. It had been so easy to tell the truth for once, to get rid of that weight.

After she had told David about her past and everything that had happened last week, he felt closer to her instead of farther away. He said he wasn't going anywhere and that if anyone came looking for her, he would protect her. He had been so confident, she had wanted to believe him. He had heated dinner and they had eaten while he asked questions about her life in the orphanage, about Jack. She had taken a shower and finally felt more like herself, clean, without any remains of dust and powder from last night. David had lent her one of his shirts so she didn't have to change back into her dirty clothes. And now they laid there in bed: him sleeping, she painfully awake.

Alice got up slowly, trying to move as little as possible to avoid waking him up, and went to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water and repeated her mantra: _You're safe, you're safe, you're safe._ She convinced herself again and again that all the noises she heard where the wind and the pipes, that nobody knew she was there besides Gordon and that she couldn't have two bad nights in a row, it would just be too much bad luck for a single person.

Alice left the glass in the sink, turned off the light and went to the bathroom. She would go to bed and manage to sleep this time, she told herself. She needed to sleep. She left the bathroom and was returning to the room, when she heard a sound coming from the kitchen. The lights were still off and she couldn't see anything.

"David?"

She walked towards the noise, her heart beating erratically.

"David, is that you?"

She searched for the light but couldn't find the switch. Her hands wandered blindly through the wall. She finally found it and turned the lights back on. Nothing, the kitchen was empty. She sighed loudly with relief.

She was about to turn back to the room, when she felt a hand pressing down her mouth and an arm pinning her to a body behind her. She tried to scream, but nothing came out, she was paralyzed with fear. She saw strange and dangerous looking men appearing through the door.

"Her friend is in there, asleep. Not a very difficult target," said the man behind her.

She didn't recognize the voice and she didn't know yet if that was a good or bad thing. With panic she watched as the men walked though the apartment towards the bedroom. She tried to stop them, but the arms holding her wouldn't budge.

"Hey, calm down now. We wouldn't want to kill your boyfriend over there just because you can't behave. Besides, I just want to have a nice talk with you. After all, we have a friend in common."

He felt her struggles to turn around.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduce myself."

His hand suddenly left her mouth and yanked her chin roughly to the side, letting her see his face.

"My name is Dr. Crane. Jonathan Crane. Pleased to meet you, Alice."


	10. Chapter 10

Ok guys, first of all I have to tell you how happy it makes me the story finally got to 100 followers! Thanks to all of you who have given me support in this story, it really keeps it going.

As you must have already noticed, I've decidad to deviate a little from the original movie, for narrative purposes. I'll take some things of the original and leave others out so I can put my own spin to it.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, remember to tell me what you think in the reviews.

* * *

The ropes were too tight, they burned into her skin every time she tried to move. And she tried, with all her strength. She was sure as hell not going to wait calmly for someone to come through that door. After all, she knew who her captor was and what to expect. The Scarecrow was not someone you would want as your host. She tried again to unfasten her ropes, but they wouldn't bulge. If only she could hear David's voice, know that he was alright. She didn't know anything at all -where they were, what did those people want- and it drove her crazy. How had they found her? But nobody had talked to her since they had thrown her inside that dirty room and tied her to this chair.

Did Crane really think anything would come out of this? He was mistaken if he thought having her here, wherever this place was, gave him any power at all. He must be after the Joker and believed she would be useful to him. Was this a power battle between Gotham's villains? She didn't want to stay here to find out, nor to see Crane's reaction once he noticed how useless she really was to him.

"Dammit," she hissed, as a specially strong tug made her arm bend in a painful angle. She could hear footsteps getting closer, stopping in front of her door. It finally opened to reveal the smug looking face she had seen at David's apartment, the same one who was responsible for her being there.

"I hope that you got a chance to rest," said Crane, as he circled around her, receiving no answer.

He disappeared behind her and started fumbling around with something she couldn't see. Alice only heard disturbing, metallic sounds, breaking the silence. Those noises promised things she couldn't think about without terror. What kind of plans roamed in his mind right now? She decided to speak, at least to drown her fears and distract the mad psychologist from his toys.

"I still don't know why I'm here. Whoever you think I am, I'm not."

"You know, Alice, why I became a psychiatrist?" he said, completely ignoring her words. "Some people do it because they think it's a way of helping people, of curing them in some way. They don't understand the real thrill of this profession. You see, once you adjust your eye enough, you can see through anyone. You can play with anyone's mind, once you have the correct tools." She could still hear those horrible instruments of his, the grinding metal noises, and shivered. "It gives you power."

Her heart started racing as he reappeared in front of her, this time holding a needle in his right arm.

"I know you're hiding secrets, the only question is how long will it take me to get them out of you."

His voice sounded much more serious and dangerous than before, even scarier than the Joker. She knew something wasn't right with him.

"You know what I have here?"

She looked right into his eyes but didn't say a word. She wasn't going to be the scared little victim, men like him fed off fear.

"Come on, have a guess. You're a reporter, shouldn't you be a little more curious?" he said, in a teasing voice.

"I already know what it is, it's your fear toxin. I've read about you."

"Oh, I'm flattered. But I'm sorry to tell you you're wrong. This is something new. It's my latest experiment, and I must say, it's a great improvement from what I had before. Not only does it provoke pure terror, I kept that beautiful feature of my old toxin, but it customizes it for each carrier. It mirrors your own fears. Isn't it spectacular?" he added, admiring his needle.

"Why are you doing this? I don't have anything useful to tell you, you're wasting your time with me."

"Well, even if I was, you would become a nice subject for my tests. I've been wanting to try this in a psychiatric session for a long time, to explore the patient's deepest, hidden fears. It may prove to be of the outmost interest. I hope you don't mind to serve as a guinea pig, it's for scientific purposes after all."

Alice cringed when he got closer and the needle dangerously graced her forearm.

"Get away from me! Why don't you try that thing on yourself!"

Crane laughed. "That wouldn't be very professional, would it? I can't be my own test subject. Besides, I'm much more interested in knowing Gotham's monster's weakness."

"What...?"

"Your fears control this whole city, Alice. It's simple, the one who controls you, controls the Joker. With you here, I will finally have this city on its knees, not even Batman will dare come against me. You see, I don't have to make you talk. I already know everything I need to know and have every mean to get what I want: the Joker's obedience. If he wants you still breathing, he'll work for me from now on, starting today."

 _How did he know about them? It wasn't possible._

"When we went looking for you I had a feeling you were involved in some way with the Joker. I didn't know his plans for you, but I guessed you would be useful in the long run, maybe you knew something about him, maybe if I had you it would catch his interest. But I didn't know I had struck gold until I spoke with your friend David a few hours ago," he said, smirking. "We only tortured him for a while, but he cracked really fast after we told him you were next."

She glared at him furiously. _Was David alright? Was he alive? Why the hell had she gone to his house last night? It was all her fault._

"At first, I didn't believe him. It was too good to be true. The Joker's childhood sweetheart? But then it made sense. It didn't just made sense, it was _fascinating_. Finding you was like an early Christmas. Can't you see? You're a means to control him but also to analyze him," he said, with shining eyes. "He'll make a wonderful clinical case."

"What makes you think I'll help you?"

He walked closer to her and lifted his hand towards her face, smirking when she cringed. He opened it in front of her and Alice saw what he was holding: her phone.

"I went over it, I hope you don't mind. I'm wondering who is this _J_ guy who texted you? I think it would be rude not to write back. Or even better, we should send him a picture. That will get his attention." He adjusted the phone and aimed the camera at her face. "We don't want him to see the ropes, of course. That will set him off and only make things difficult. He just has to understand it's better for both of us to work together. I'll be the brains of the operation and he'll be the weapon. On the other hand, maybe we _should_ include the ropes in the picture. He seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy the idea of you being tied up. Well, we can try that later."

Crane's smug calm smile was making her sick. If he was really getting the Joker involved she needed to find a way out before everything blew up. She had no doubts that Crane would regret this, it was too much for him to handle.

"He'll never listen to you, you're signing your own death sentence. He doesn't like to be told what to do."

"I know how to control rabid dogs," he replied. "Besides, he might seem crazy, but we both know he's more rational than what he shows. He'll behave," he said, sending the photo and putting the phone back in his pocket.

"Just let us go, he doesn't care what happens to me. He's just playing around and will drop me as soon as he's bored."

As she said the words she knew to be true, she couldn't help feeling hurt. She wasn't naive, she knew what to expect, he wouldn't be coming to get her. Alice didn't even know if she wanted him to. She watched as Dr. Crane smugly smirked at her.

"We'll see about that. But let's not worry about that now. We can have fun without him. I already told you, I've been dying to try this new experiment of mine. And you'll help me."

Alice stared at him with horror.

"Please, don't do this."

"It's just a little prick, don't be scared. At least not yet," he said, as he rubbed a soaked cotton into her trembling forearm. "Oh, I'm dying to know what you'll see..." he said to himself, with a dark look in his eyes.

She couldn't move away, she couldn't escape as much as she struggled. She just sat there watching him inject her with that horrible colorless liquid.

"Stop! Help! Someone, please!"

"You can scream all you want, nobody can hear you," said Crane, as he finished emptying the needle and removing it from her arm. "Nobody will find you until I want them to, so don't get your hopes up. Don't resist it, Alice, maybe you'll even learn some things about yourself..."

She could hear him speaking, but his words started to melt into each other, making no sense. As did the walls and floor. She closed her eyes, her head was on fire. She was going to be sick.

Alice reopened her eyes and looked around, but couldn't recognize the place. Where was she? This wasn't the room she was in before. Before she realized it, Crane had disappeared and in his place there was only... nothingness.

The ropes and the chair were gone. She was free to move around, but there was nowhere to go to. She was standing on a cliff and before her there was only a dark void that reeked of burnt oil, smoke and gunpowder. Alice couldn't see anything, but she could hear the screaming. Men, women, children, all shouting with the same despair. Gut wrenching screams that made her want to tear her ears off just to get them out of her head.

"Do you like what I've, uh, done with the place?" said a familiar voice behind her, while a pair of arms surrounded her waist. "Just for _you_ , love."

She didn't recognize her own voice, it sounded dead, "What have you done, Jack?".

His lips were on her neck, giving her light kisses, while his fingers played with her hair.

"I told you what I would do, you always knew, doll. Bury Gotham where it deserved, in darkness. And _you_ helped me do it."

"You're lying. I would never..."

" _Really_?" he said, grabbing her hands and holding them in front of her.

She looked down and stopped breathing. Her fingers where all stained with blood. The Joker hummed a happy tune while he drew red circles in her palms. _Who's blood was it?_

"Don't worry, doll, you did what you had to do. I already told you, let go of the guilt. We were meant to rule this city, you and I. And look how _beautiful_ Gotham's become. Look how beautiful _you've_ become, all covered in red."

He was now standing next to her, holding her hand. The dark emptiness had dissipated to make way to a more horrible sight. She took in the burning buildings, the crying, injured people in the streets, the demolished city hall, the inexistent building of the Gotham Times, the smoke filled streets. She had a bird eye view of hell.

Alice couldn't stop shaking. This couldn't be real, nothing of this could be happening. Hadn't anyone been able to stop him? She should be down there, in the flames and terror, not here, not standing next to _him_. But as she attempted to move, to help them, the Joker's hold on her only grew tighter, becoming almost bruising. His arms dragged her closer and closer. She closed her eyes, trying to shut everything out. The Joker was now pressed entirely against her.

"You're so beautiful, Lis. I'll never get tired of you," he whispered in her ear. "Now it's just the two of us. How it was always meant to be."

She closed her eyelids tighter. No light, no sound, nothing could pass through them. _This isn't real, nothing of this is real._

"Go away, go away, _go away_!" she shouted with a broken voice.

Suddenly she felt the arms around her disappear. She was free.

Alice carefully reopened her eyes.

She was laying in her old bed, in her bedroom at the orphanage. She stared at the sealing; no smoke, no fire. The screams in the background now belonged to kids, playing outside, shouting and laughing.

"What were you dreaming about?" said a curious voice next to her.

She turned her head towards him. He was leaning on his side next to her, over the same bed.

"It was a bad dream. I don't really want to talk about it."

Alice moved closer to him and Jack put his arm around her. She felt warm and safe again and sighed with relief. _Just a dream_.

"Well, next time you should try to dream about me," he said, smiling and leaning over her. "I bet those will be nicer dreams."

He kissed her jaw and moved up to her lips. She kissed him back, giving in to him.

"I'll chase your bad dreams away, don't worry," he said, slowly moving his kisses down her body.

"Jack! It's morning already, anyone can come in."

"I don't care. Let them see."

His hands slowly but eagerly undid the buttons of her nightgown, leaving her skin exposed to the cold air and to his hot touches. She closed her eyes, her head tilted backwards against her pillow.

"Jack... They're going to hear..." she whispered hoarsely.

"We'll be quiet," he answered, never stopping his descent down her body.

She bit her lips and stopped talking, unsure of what sounds would come out if she attempted to speak again.

His hands were everywhere. Her waist, her breasts, her legs. A hand wondered beneath her clothes and cupped her ass. This was getting out of hand and the door was unlocked, but she couldn't find the strength or the will to stop him. She just wanted him to continue on and on until she didn't care about anything else anymore. She didn't want to think, she just wanted to feel him all around her, his drowning scent, his feverish body on hers. Or was the heat coming from inside her?

His mouth found its way beneath her clothes, between her legs, and continued with its relentless kisses. It was too much, slow moans escaped her lips and she tried burying them in her pillow to no avail. The kisses stopped and his face reappeared smirking.

"Shh, Lis. We have to be quiet, remember?"

She looked at him. He was quickly removing his shirt with swift motions, freeing his toned, slightly pale body, always keeping her under his gaze. His muscles rippled with every one of his movements as his hands unzipped his pants. He leaned again over her and she lifted her hands to roam his body, to feel him under her fingers. His skin was cold, even now, even if his eyes were two burning fires. When she felt him inside her, it felt so good she forgot where they were. She released a long elated moan, silenced by Jack's lips, that fell on her like a predator on a prey. He kissed her hard, while he moved inside her, again and again. She wanted him closer, even closer than physically possible. Her arms curled behind his back and pulled him towards her, her nails biting into his skin. Everything felt so right, they fit together so perfectly.

Her mouth escaped the consuming kiss and she turned her head to the side, grasping for breath. She slowly opened her eyes and her moans stopped abruptly. She was frozen, trying to comprehend what she was seeing before her. She wasn't in her bed anymore. She wasn't at the orphanage. She was on the cold, rough, ground, staring at a cliff. She could hear voices coming from down there. Screams, explosions, cries. She could see the fire again.

Alice pushed against the body that kept moving above her, deeper and deeper. She couldn't see his face anymore, it was buried in her hair, but she could feel his breathing in her ear while his hands held her down, much rougher than before.

"Jack, stop!"

He finally lifted his head and stared at her. Two long scars marred his face now; his eyes were cold as stone, dead. He smiled darkly at her.

"I thought this was what you wanted, Lis. Are you backing away from me now?"

She stared at him in horror while he kept moving, eliciting unwanted sounds from her. She clawed against him, but he didn't stop. Tears started falling from her cheeks.

"Stop, you're not Jack!"

"Stop fooling yourself, love," he said, holding her face in his hands. "You know the truth, we were always the same person. You can't split a man in two just for your peace of mind."

"Jack loved me, Jack was not a monster. You are the only monster!"

"Wake up, Lis. _It's me_ , it has always been me. It just took the scars and a clown face for you to notice the monster lurking around. You didn't seem to care when I murdered people for the mob before. Just close your eyes and everything will be just like before. Just look at me."

But she couldn't, she had already seen it. There in the background stood countless wooden poles, rising to the sky, overshadowing the city's remains. There was something attached to each one of them. _What was that?_ The wind was blowing mercilessly and the clouds passed by one after the other in the gray sky. Suddenly, a ray of sunshine broke through and illuminated the dark horizon. She could see the pikes clearly now and what they held. She closed her eyes with a cry. There, on top of every stick, rested the severed heads of the Joker's victims. _How could she let him do this?_

Alice turned her head the other way, she couldn't stand the sight of that horror anymore. When she did, she was confronted with a set of familiar blue eyes. They didn't blink, they looked dead. Alice screamed.

"Why didn't you help us, Alice? You left us here to die."

She stared at David's corpse and lifted her hand to his cold cheeks, trying th find her voice between the tears.

"I didn't. I didn't leave you, David. I never meant for any of this, I swear," she said in between sobs.

"Oh, don't lie to him, pumpkin. It's disrespectful to the dead. You should tell him the truth," said the Joker, smirking on top of her.

"Say the truth, Alice," said another voice, behind her.

She leaned her head back and through blurry eyes she saw commissioner Gordon. He was staked to the ground, his mouth covered in blood. He was staring straight at her.

"You lied to us all along, you were always on his side. You were just like him, I see it now. You _deserve_ one another."

"No, please, Gordon, believe me..."

"You both deserve to rot in hell," said Gordon, emotionlessly, as if he was reading a definite sentence.

The ground beneath her started to crack. A hole was opening in the ground, ready to suck them in, but the Joker just kept laughing.

"What's happening?!"

"Oh, we're going under, doll. Just enjoy the ride!" said the Joker, grinning.

The ground finally disappeared and Alice screamed as they fell through the darkness. No light, no sound, just her screams echoing through the void.

At one point she realized the Joker was no longer with her. She somehow didn't feel him next to her anymore. A moment later, she discovered she could take a step through the darkness, as if not even the laws of physics existed in that place.

She walked around, waiting for something to happen. Nothing, only blackness. _Was this really hell?_

Suddenly she saw a light far away. She went that way, hoping to find something, anything at all. There, a few meters in front of her, stood a young Jack, just as he had looked the first time he had stepped into the orphanage. He was just a kid, he looked so lost. Alice walked towards him. She needed to comfort him, he looked so lonely and hurt.

"Jack, come here. I'm Alice, you're safe with me."

Little Jack looked at her distrustfully, but took a step forward. All of the sudden he stopped and looked at her terrified.

"What happened, Jack? What did you see?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but no words would come out. Out of the darkness, two hands appeared from behind him, each one holding a knife. He looked at her with panicked eyes before the knives gashed his face and opened his cheeks into a big, horrible smile. The hands disappeared as fast as they had come, and left Jack's small body laying on the ground.

Alice's knees hit the floor. A raw scream erupted from her, threatening to tear her throat apart, while Jack's soft voice echoed in her ears.

"Why didn't you help me, Alice? Why didn't you protect me?"

Only coldness. There was nothing left but coldness inside her.

* * *

"I think you've had enough for today. I don't want to ruin you too soon," said Crane, removing a needle from her arm. Alice fluttered her eyes shut. "Don't worry, this one will remove the toxin from your system. You should be fine after a while. We'll try this again tomorrow, it looks promising. Luckily, I still have your friend to play with to pass the time. Although he will definitely not be as interesting as you, I'm afraid. Goodbye, little Alice. Sweet dreams."

And she was immersed in a dreamless sleep, one she hoped to never wake up from.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm back! I hope you haven't forgotten about me, because I definetely haven't forgetten about this story. Read up, I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Her mind and body felt so tired, so worn out. She wouldn't be able to handle another shot, it would be too much. She couldn't go through that horror again, never again.

Alice drowned the fragments of her hallucination that wanted to come back up. She had to get a hold on herself, she was not there alone... And Crane didn't need David alive, neither did the Joker. She had to find a way to get out of this room and find him, there was no time to feel sorry for herself or to examine her nightmare. _It was just the drug messing with my head, nothing more._

But she felt so tired. On the verge of giving up, almost. They had left her alone again, in that cold, dark cell. She could hear a man just outside of the door, grumbling incoherent words. He was keeping guard and probably bored out of his mind.

"Hey! I need to go to the bathroom," she shouted to the unmoving door.

Nobody answered.

"I know you can hear me. Please, I really need to go, just for a minute."

"Be quiet," was all the answer she got. He didn't seem like the talkative type.

"If you don't let me out I'm going to pee right here, I mean it. Guess who Crane's going to send to clean it up. I'm just sparing you the trouble."

Alice finally heard the sound of a key opening the door and she feared she had gone too far. The guard was surely coming to shut her up.

A short, burly, pale man came into the room, scrutinizing her with inexpressive eyes.

"You better be quick, if the doctor sees you out of your cell he won't be happy. You better don't try anything, I have orders to keep you here by _any_ means necessary," he said, while he untied her arms with his brawny hands and lifted her up not too gently, while pressing a gun against her back. "And kid, better watch what you say around here. Most people here don't have my good temper."

Alice made sure to keep her mouth shut and followed his lead out of the room. She hadn't thought this in advance and now that she had actually managed to get out of that hideous cell she didn't know what to do. She didn't know where David was or how to get out of that place, but most importantly, there was the subject of how to get past her new friend and his not so friendly looking gun.

He guided her through a cold and deserted corridor, past numerous closed doors on their right and left. There was a light flickering in the sealing, which made the place gloomier than it already was. Alice would have laughed at the cliché at another time. They suddenly stopped in front of one the many doors, that looked exactly the same as all the others.

"Here we are. Remember, be quick or I'll come get you myself."

Taking his threat seriously, Alice went in quickly, having still no glimpse of a plan.

The bathroom had no windows, no backdoors, no places to hide. It was like a small closet, but entirely white and with a dirty looking toilet and mirror. She closed the lid and sat down on it, feeling trapped again, just in a different, more claustrophobic room. _Think, think._ She had nothing to use as a weapon, she knew the guard wouldn't listen to a word she said and she didn't even know which way to run if she did manage to go past him. She was stuck there, in that dirty bathroom, until the man outside decided he had waited enough. What the hell did she think she could do? Did she actually think she could be anything more than a defenseless hostage?

There was a knock on the door.

"Come on kid, if you want to cry you can do it back in your cell. I don't have all day, hurry up."

She may not be a hero, or a criminal mastermind, but she was tired of having her life turned upside down without having a say on it. She wasn't a weak little girl anymore, waiting for someone to come looking for her. She could take care of herself. She would fight her way through this hell, cause she was alone in it. She knew if someone came, it wouldn't be to save her. She would have to save herself.

A sudden piercing alarm interrupted her thoughts and made her jump up. _What the hell was that?_

" _Shit_ ," she heard, coming from outside. "That means trouble. We're leaving, _now._ Get out of there!"

Alice threw herself against the door and tried to hold it closed, pushing her whole weight against it. The door rattled behind her, while the alarm kept ringing in her ears, as did the shouts and curses of the guard outside. She stretched her legs against the toilet and used it as leverage to hold her in place.

"I'll shoot you and drag your bleeding corpse back to the cell if I have to! Open the door you little bitch!"

The screaming threats suddenly stopped and the door went still. The alarm had stopped. She felt him moving away from her. Something was happening outside, if she could just get a look and know what was going on...

A series of shots fired into the air. She froze. They had sounded so close, for a moment she thought they were meant for her. What was out there? What was the guard shooting at? Had he hit his target? His next shout only put her more on edge.

"Where are you, you son of a bitch? Show yourself!"

More erratic gunshots shattered through the hallway. She heard a piercing scream and something heavy hitting the wall. Footsteps running down the hall. Then, nothing.

Alice shuddered and felt cold beads of sweat falling down her back. She didn't dare open the door, fearing she wasn't really alone but that someone or something was still out there waiting for her. But she couldn't stay in there either.

Cautiously, she peeked outside. There was nobody there, only an unconscious body lying on the floor. It was the guard who had brought her there. Relieved, she went out into the hallway. It seemed Crane's minion had had an encounter with the person that had activated the alarm. Whoever it was, she didn't want to be there when he came back. She grabbed the guard's gun from the floor but and looked both ways. At both ends of the hall, there was a turn, leaving hidden whatever was on each side. Which way to go? The strange intruder had come from her right, her cell was on her left, so it was pretty obvious which was her way out. She took a step towards her right and stopped. David was still there, she couldn't leave without him. She had to find him before she left, he shouldn't be very far away from where they held her. She checked the guard and found his stack of keys, each one had a number on them that signaled the door they opened. It shouldn't be too difficult to find David, she just hoped she had enough time.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed her arm and she screamed. It was the semi conscious guard, trying to get a hold of her. She yanked her arm free and pointed the gun at his pain-filled face.

"Where is David? Tell me where you're holding him."

The man groaned and closed his eyes.

"You should just get out of here while you still can, kid."

"Tell me, or I swear I'll shoot you!" she said, pulling off the gun's safety.

He opened his eyes again and glared at her.

"Door 202, down the hall. Although I don't know if it's still worth your time. Dr. Crane had his fun with him already, I heard the screams some time ago," he said smirking.

Alice went pale. She hit the guard with the back of his gun and he fell back into unconsciousness. She put the keys in her pocket and ran, getting farther and farther away from the exit, down into the dark maze.

* * *

She was still dreaming. Still asleep. That was the only explanation she could find. Because this couldn't be real, this was the matter of nightmares, not reality.

David's cold, white face was the same she had seen not long ago under the effects of the toxin, only this was much worse. This time he wasn't opening his eyes, he wasn't talking. He was just lying there, strapped to a metal chair, unmoving.

"David?"

She put her hands on his face, lifted it to look at her. But he just wouldn't answer. She noticed with horror the familiar empty needles resting on a platter next to him.

"David we can go now, I know the way out. We can leave this horrible place and never come back," she said, her voice breaking while she shook him, trying to get a response out of him. "Come on, you said you would stay by my side no matter what, remember? Please, David, open your eyes..."

Alice brushed away her tears and rested her face on his shoulder. Why him? He had nothing to do with this horrible world. It was her fault he was dragged into this, that Crane had gotten his hands on him, that he was dead. If she had just been just a normal girl, none of this would have happened. Now he was never waking up again.

The sobs shook her body. She kissed his eyelids, his lips, tasting her own tears in return. Furious determination filled her eyes as she got up, holding her gun firmly.

"I'll finish this. I'll kill the bastard who did this to you."

* * *

 _"No, that's not right. Here, hold it like this. Don't be afraid, that's what causes mistakes."_

 _"I won't make mistakes, because I'm never going to use one of this, Jack."_

 _His hands covered hers, as he guided her, correcting her angle, straightening her posture. Her target stood far away, over the fence. A lonely can, threatening to fall to the ground. Alice's fingers trembled while holding the gun, unsure. She fired once, twice into the air, but the can didn't move._

 _"Sometimes it's not your choice, Lis, so better be prepared. I'm not always going to be here to protect you, I want to know you can look after yourself."_

 _"Normal people don't need to shoot guns to protect themselves, you know? They bring more trouble than they're worth. This is a waste of time," she said._

 _"Come on, amuse me. Hold it straight, like it was an extension of your arm," he said, leaning closer and distracting her. "I don't like them either, they make it... too easy to kill. It's almost as if you don't get the whole feeling of what you're doing, they're too light and the trigger goes off too smoothly. But they do the job."_

 _She looked at him strangely._

 _"A job I don't need. I know your line of work is dangerous, Jack, but I'm not part of it and I don't want to be. Neither should you."_

 _His hands slid up her arms and rested on her shoulders, stroking them._

 _"I'm sorry, Lis, but my life touches yours. All its dark places do too, as much as I don't want them to. You're already part of it, so you have to be able to play by its rules. Eat or be eaten alive, love, that's how it goes."_

 _He took the gun away from her, startling her, and calmly took down the can with one shot._

* * *

The noises were coming from the insides of the maze, she could hear them calling her from the depths of those twisted corridors. Alice had already gone past the large metal door and had encountered the bodies scattered along the way, like bloody rose petals paving her path towards a horrific surprise. Unconscious or dead, Crane's men seemed to have suffered the same fate as her guard. She walked past them, trying to avoid stepping on them, her heart pounding inside her and drowning her thoughts.

She could finally pinpoint the source where the voices were coming from. It seemed to be a much bigger room than the other ones. She was steps away from not only the monstrous psychiatrist that had killed her boyfriend but also his surprise guest, the person responsible for the slaughter outside. She peeked through the crack on the doorway and stared at the scene inside. She realized she had never let go of the gun, it burnt her hand.

"Well, it looks like the big bad bat wasn't as invincible as everybody thought."

She glared at Crane's back, as his voice hit her like poison.

"You thought you had gotten rid of me, huh? Gone forever, locked inside _Arkham_ ," he said, slowly taking off his gas mask. "You underestimated me _._ "

That's when she first saw the other person in the room, his body lying on the floor. _How hadn't she seen him?_

"You didn't think I wouldn't be prepared, did you? I have to say I wasn't expecting to catch a bat today. You see, I already had an appointment with a certain clown. But you were always so impolite, not caring about other people's plans. And look where that's got you now."

Crane approached the masked man groaning on the floor, and kicked him roughly in the stomach. The psychiatrist smiled as Batman doubled over in pain.

"I installed a gas chamber in my little office, just in case someone wanted to pay me an unwanted visit. Easy to activate and easy to clean up afterwards. It proved useful, after all. I wonder what you're seeing right now, it must be horrible. You see, it feeds off your worst nightmares. I think it's a fitting end for the man without fear, don't you think?," he said, grabbing a gun from his coat. "I'm almost tempted to wait and watch you fall into madness. The toxin is lethal and I'm the only one with the cure," he said, revealing a small tube hidden in his pocket, "so you're actually already dead as it is".

It was useless he talked to him, the man in front of him had lost all sense of reality. But it amused him nonetheless, to tease him until the last moment. Crane turned him on his back with his foot, analyzing the hero while he mumbled incoherently.

"But don't worry, I'm a merciful man. I'll spare you the pain of a slow death, after all, we have history together. Your death will be painless, but I'll make sure to expose you as the fraud you are. I'll show your lifeless face to the world, so everybody knows who the real Batman is and how he looks like when he's defeated. A mirror of Gotham's future if they don't surrender to me."

He kneeled in front of him and stretched out his hand towards the famous mask. Alice couldn't see what was hidden behind it, but she saw it being thrown to the ground, were it rested like the decapitated head of a mythological creature. She was entranced by it and its surrealism. _What was this horror show?_

Crane laughed and it echoed through the room.

"Well... I wasn't expecting _this_. I can't wait to see Gotham's reaction, it'll be a shock for them," he said, his laugh slowly quieting down, leaving him with a serious, cold face. "But first, let's put an end to your misery."

He aimed towards the fallen hero, his finger on the trigger.

One, two, three shots cracked through the room.

Crane turned around and looked straight into Alice's eyes. She was standing by the door, unmoving. Her hand was still in the air and her burning fingers holding firmly her gun. His eyes travelled down his body, spotting the red stains in his chest growing larger by the second. He looked up again with disbelief and fell to the floor.

Alice slowly walked towards him and watched him as he bled to death. She felt oddly empty, hypnotized by the dying man's eyes. She could only break the trance when she heard a groan coming from the other agonizing man in the room. She knew she didn't have time to think, she could do that later. She crouched down next to Crane and searched his pockets. Alice grabbed the cure and got up, not even giving him the benefit of a last look, and went to Batman.

She recognized that face. It was a face she had seen too many times on the news and only once in person. The day her whole life had stopped making sense. It was curious how Bruce Wayne and the Joker had been linked around her twice now, but had never met face to face, not without a mask. She was probably the only one who knew both of Gotham's most secret identities now. She really wish she didn't.

A hand touched her cheek softly, startling her.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I failed you..."

The broken voice of Bruce Wayne echoed through the room, as he looked at her with delirious eyes. She painfully held her breath. They sounded like her own words, her own regrets.

"Shh... It's ok," she said, trying to steady her hands while she held his. "It wasn't your fault. Just relax, you're going to be fine now."

His eyes closed again and he sighed feverishly, as she laid him back on the floor and took out the needle. A small prick on his neck, and the whole substance was swirling in his system, killing the toxin. Alice removed the needle and searched for the discarded mask. She grabbed it and carefully placed it back on him, completing the hero again.

A pair of eyes opened a moment later, looking more conscious, aware of their surroundings. It wasn't Bruce looking at her with love filled eyes anymore. It was Batman, and he seemed confused and concerned, taking in his surroundings and the body laying not far away from them.

"You don't have to worry, I won't tell them about you. Everybody has their secrets," she said quietly. "Is the police coming?"

He hesitated, taken aback by her words.

"Yes. I already told them you're here."

Alice leaned on the floor, exhausted.

"You should get going then. Before they get here."

His eyes stared at her curiously, as if trying to piece her out. He slowly got up, the cure had luckily acted quickly on his body, leaving no serious aftereffects. He walked towards the exit and turned around when he was already at the door. He silently stood there for a while. Alice looked up into his eyes and they shared the same tired, worn-down gaze from each side of the room.

"Thank you," he whispered, as he disappeared.

* * *

"Alice? Are you alright? Can you hear me?"

She opened her eyes asking herself when had she closed them. The once silent and almost empty room was now gone. Instead, she found herself laying on an ambulance stretcher, surrounded by cops and paramedics.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, sitting up and trying to stand up. She almost tripped when her feet touched the floor and Gordon had to offer his arm as support. "How did you find me?"

Gordon looked somewhat evasive.

"We got an anonymous tip."

So _Bruce_ had let them know. The question was how had Batman found her in the first place?

"We came as fast as we could."

 _Not fast enough,_ she thought _._ Alice looked back at the building she had just been trapped in. It looked like an abandoned factory, old bricks and broken windows hid the dark cells that waited inside. She wished she could burn the whole thing down.

Gordon took in her empty stare, her silence, her disheveled appearance. After every crime scene he found her worse and worse. Like the events were slowly eroding her. He put his jacket on her shoulders.

"I would like to go home now, if you don't mind. No hospitals this time," she said, looking back at him.

"I really wished you would reconsider that, Alice. It's not safe for you to be alone right now. We can find you somewhere safe to sleep, until we..."

"You know you won't catch him soon, the Joker is too smart. And I can't live in hiding until you do. You can keep an eye on my house if you think it'll help, but I really just want to go home. I need to."

Gordon looked at her for a while, not knowing what to say. He couldn't promise her anything, he couldn't really keep her safe, or anyone in that city as a matter of fact, he knew that. The least he could do was take the girl home.

"Ok, if that's what you want. We'll leave someone behind guarding the place, just in case."

Alice saw paramedics running all around the place, carrying stretchers with injured men. One of the stretchers was a couple of meters away from her, surrounded by cops. It carried a body, like many others, only that this one wasn't hidden by a white sheet. She recognized the face and looked away, feeling cold shivers shake her body.

"At least you won't have to worry about _him_ anymore," said Gordon.

She knew he was dying to ask what had happened inside, but that he didn't want to pressure her. She silently thanked him for that.

"Come on, Ramirez here will make sure you get home safe," he added, signaling a dark haired woman standing next to a police car. "Just call me tomorrow, when you feel like talking, ok? You can trust me, you're not alone in this."

Alice just nodded and said goodbye, walking towards her lift home. She just wanted to get away and avoid looking at any more covered stretchers and wonder which one held David's body.

* * *

She hadn't shared many words with her driver, but that was fine by her. Her eyes alternated between staring at the lights of the empty streets, shining through the car's window, and the darkness of her closed eyelids. She couldn't stop shivering, not because she was afraid -she had already shut down her mind some time ago-. It felt like the toxin was still burning in her body, poisoning her. She knew it probably wasn't true, but she refused to fall asleep, fearing the nightmares would come back and haunt her. She needed to stay awake.

"Can you turn the radio on? I could use a distraction."

The cop, Ramirez if she remembered correctly, looked at her strangely through the bars that separated her from the back seat -the sort of accessories you get when you travel in a police car.

"Sure," she said, turning it on.

Alice continued staring through the window. She couldn't recognize a single street they passed and they had been driving for a while now. Had her kidnappers taken her so far away? They seemed to be in the outskirts of Gotham right now and the places they were going through didn't look particularly nice. In fact, it seemed the were moving farther and farther away from downtown, into the worse parts of town.

"Are we close?"

"Just a few more minutes," answered Ramirez, casually.

Her head was starting to spin from lack of sleep and what she thought was a fever, but she could still recognize a lie when she heard one. She tried to stay calm, despite what she suspected was coming. She checked, the backseat doors didn't open.

"Where are you really taking me?"

There was no answer, only silence.

"I told you, we're close," answered the policewoman, after some time.

"Close to where?"

The car stopped in front of what looked like an abandoned building, dangerously similar to the one she had just escaped from. Now she couldn't help panicking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have a choice. He said he didn't want to hurt you," whispered Ramirez, avoiding looking at her.

"W-Who...?"

She didn't need an answer but she got one anyway. The door on her left suddenly opened and she could see for herself. There he was, the Joker in person, standing next to it. He didn't look happy. Seeing him this close, she felt the last shreds of her energy disappear. She gave in to whatever was coming.

The Joker looked at her for a few seconds and snarled at one of his men when he made a move to grab her. He moved forward and carefully lifted her in his arms, with no resistance. Whitout saying a word, he carried her into the dark building he had come from.

* * *

Hope you liked the chapter, don't forget to review and tell me your thoughts about it!


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, so I'm back after a looong time. I'm really sorry I kept you waiting so long, I had a lot of things going on and I couldn't find the time to seat down and simply write. I have the story all in my head already but sometimes it's hard to write it down. I hope this chapter isn't too short for you, I'll try to upload the next one this following weeks.**  
 **Thank you for your beautiful reviews!**

* * *

Behind The Joker's seemingly controlled front and his calm steps, there were glimpses of a dark explosion hidden inside him, barely contained. She could feel it slipping through his fingers, pressed on her skin. His broad jaw stood out, tensed. His eyes shone with dark determination, below his barely furrowed brows.

Her initial shock and compliant state when seeing his familiar face through the police car had faded away as soon as they entered the building. She was tired, hurt, probably ill, but she wasn't some ragdoll to be carried around. She pushed against the firm body that held her, trying to free herself. She also became aware of her almost lack of clothes when she noticed there was a rather large audience observing her with curious eyes. She was still only wearing David's shirt, the one he had given her at his apartment last night. She quickly pushed that memory aside.

"I can walk. Let me down," she said, with a firm voice.

He only looked at her for a second, raised an eyebrow and ignored her request. But his dark eyes had been enough of a warning to stay still and keep quiet.

She cautiously looked around, taking in the large room. It wasn't at all what you would expect seeing the building from the outside. The place wasn't really clean or tidy, but it looked habitable. There were some men sitting around a TV, others eating pizza around a table, some playing cards in a corner far away. They had all stopped what they were doing when she entered the room with the Joker. The scene that they had walked into looked almost mundane, except for the guns laying around the floor and the jagged, demented faces sported by most of the people there.

The Joker didn't even acknowledge their presence, heading straight for the stairs at the end of the room. His followers averted their eyes when he passed next to them, trying to avoid any unwanted attention. All of them, except for one. A scrawny looking man, one of the card players in the back. The other players were lost in their own cards, with a fearful look in their eyes, but he wasn't. He had turned around and looked straight at them with intense curiosity, catching Alice's eye. She noticed he had two cards hidden in the back of his neck, sticking out of his shirt. He realized she had seen his cheat and winked at her with a knowing smile. The gesture only earned him a warning look from the Joker, before they disappeared through the stairs, leaving the men behind.

Was that how evil lairs looked like?

Once they were alone in the second floor, Alice released a breath she didn't know she was holding. She didn't like being in the spotlight. They arrived to an empty room and only then did he put her down, closing the door behind them. She expected an outburst out of him, something. But he just stood there, facing the door, so she couldn't even see his face. A while went by before he spoke.

"You're going to drive me _insane_ , you know that, right?" he said, in a tense voice. "I leave you alone for _one_ second and you get kidnapped?"

 _It was him who the Scarecrow was really after._ She swallowed her thoughts as he turned around to face her.

"I didn't have much of a say in it," she said, defiantly. "And I didn't need your help to escape. So why did you have to kidnap me a second time?"

The Joker looked at her darkly, still having that angry glint in his eyes.

"Because you've become a _liability_. People somehow have managed to know we're connected and are trying to use that against me. I can't have that. And it's much more difficult keeping an eye on you from a distance..." he said, as he walked closer to her.

She backed away until she hit something behind her. A bed. That's when she first bothered looking around the dimly lit room. The sheets were unmade, there were clothes laying around the floor and a pillow with greasepaint stains next to her. This was _his_ room.

"Oh, I hope you like what I've done with the place. It's not fancy, but it's sure big enough to share," he said, smirking at her.

"You can't lock me up in here," she said, sounding angry but panicking at the same time.

He stood hovering over her.

"Oh, but I _can_ ," he said, holding up her chin.

"If you're afraid that someone will find out about your past, I haven't told anybody and I'm not planning to. I won't be a risk to you, you can let me go," she said, trying to reason with him. "You don't have to keep me here."

He let out an impatient sigh.

"You still don't, uh, understand, do you? I've said it already, but you don't _listen_..."

She was about to answer back, but his lips took her by surprise. It was a crushing kiss, a desperate one. His hands roamed her body, pulled her flush against him, and she gave in despite herself, taken off guard. One of his hands dug into her hair, while the other pushed her backwards until she was resting on the bed with him on top of her. When he pulled away, she was already out of breath and out of words. She shuddered when she saw his smoldering eyes eating her up.

"Your mere existence threatens everything I've planned so far. Your death too. If you have the right to still do that, to affect me," he whispered, in a low dark voice, that resembled a growl, "I have the right to keep you here, as long as I want. I won't let you disappear, not again."

She just laid there, without uttering a single word. She wouldn't have known what to say, even if she found her voice to do it. Those turbulent eyes... He looked so angry, so violent, like an abandoned animal left on the streets, famished, beaten. So used to being hurt, to bite back.

She touched his face, her sad eyes falling deeper into his. Jack looked away, hiding again.

"Jack..."

"No," he said, guessing what her next words would be.

His voice was final. He wouldn't listen to her, wouldn't let her convince him to let her go. They were two ghosts trapped in a cage, walking in circles. Cursed to repeat the same old paths.

His hand held hers, pressed it against his face, as he smelled her, took in her scent. Then, he let her go.

"This is your new home from now on, get used to it. I have to go, I left some unfinished business because of this, uh, situation. You see... you keep distracting me," he said, looking intently at her, before standing up.

"I'll be back soon," he said, and suddenly slipped into his usual character again, with a devious grin. "Don't wait up."

"You're just going to leave me here, locked up?" she said, losing all hope.

The Joker stopped at the door, without turning around.

"You aren't locked up, you always have the choice to leave," he said, as he disappeared.

* * *

He really hadn't lock the door.

Alice stood there, with the handle in her hand. It had just given in, without resistance. There was no way there wasn't a trap waiting for her out there. He wouldn't just let her walk free like that. Or did he really think she would stay there voluntarily? He had to know better.

No, he had to be playing with her. It was definitely a game. But what if it was? The door was there, unlocked, calling for her. She just had to open it, step outside, and try to find a way out. What was the alternative? Wait there for him to come back, in that room that smelled so much like him, that felt too intimate?

She breathed in and out, trying to concentrate despite the cold sweat that ran through her back. She hadn't noticed she was in such a bad state until the Joker had left her alone. She was definitely not in the best condition to fight off any of the men downstairs and there were a _lot_ of them.

She peaked through the door. That floor seemed to be empty, she could at least go out and see if there wasn't something they had overlooked, an open window, any kind of escape exit. As quietly as she could, she left the safety of the room and ventured out into the hall. To her right was the staircase were they had come from, that only led downstairs. That option was out. So it would be to her left then, down the hall. A strong sense of deja vu invaded her. She had to make a choice like this only hours ago and it had ended in the worst possible way. Would she have the courage to open more doors and find out what they held behind them? She shivered. Once again, she buried her memories in the deep ends of her mind. _Not now, don't think about David right now._

"I wouldn't go wandering alone if I was you."

Alice froze. She had only managed to take a few steps outside her room.

"The boss is out, he told me to keep an eye on you. Now I see why, it seems you can't keep still for a second, can you?"

She turned around and recognized the man in front of her. It was that card player from downstairs, the cheater. Now that she saw him from up close he seemed younger, he couldn't be older than his twenties. His red hair flamed over his scrutinizing eyes. He reminded her of someone she knew a long time ago. Danny, the kid that had warned her before the fire. They looked nothing alike, but there was something in his eyes. A kind of acceptance to a dark fate. He looked at her with a calm, condescending smile.

"Come here, you look like you need something to eat and a shower. Pizza sounds good?"

He sighed when she only retreated to his approach.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there's nothing waiting for you that way, only abandoned rooms and barred windows. This used to be an asylum, you know? So the place is designed specifically to keep people from escaping."

"Who are you?"

He didn't look like the rest of the men there. He looked... sane.

"I don't belong here, please... "

He frowned and sighed again.

"It's not up to me to decide that. Come on, don't make this difficult. You look tired enough already."

"I'm not staying here."

"Oh, ok, go ahead, go downstairs and try to walk out the front door -cause that's the only way out-, I won't stop you. But you should know that even if by some miracle you get there, there are only more armed men posted outside. And those are the most scary ones."

Alice hesitated. She suspected he was telling the truth, that there was no way to escape, but what should she do? She couldn't give in to all this. There had to be a way out.

"You haven't told me who you are."

"You're right, sorry. I'm Aaron. You'll be seeing a lot of me, it seems. I'm your new babysitter," he said, mockingly.

"I don't need a babysitter," spat Alice, angrily.

"The boss doesn't seem to think that. Don't look at me like that, I'm not that bad. Believe me, you're better off with me than with the rest of the men here."

"Why is that?"

"Well, for one, I'm not a violent maniac. I'm a controlled one at least. And my dear comrades haven't seen a woman up close in a long time. Most of them just got out of asylums like this one, I think they have forgotten their manners..."

Alice shivered at the implication behind those words, dreading each second more the idea of going downstairs.

"And what keeps me safe from you?"

"You don't have to worry about me. Let's say you're far from my type," he added, with a smirk. "And if anything happens to you, I would have something much worse coming my way. So, you're not going to give me any trouble, right? I don't want the boss to take it out on me for not taking care of his girl."

"I'm not his girl."

"Ok, ok. Just go back to your room and I'll bring you something to eat. You look like you're about to pass out any second now."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look like it, girl. Alice, right? Just get some sleep, Alice, nobody is going to attack you here."

She laughed.

"You're the ones who are terrorizing Gotham and you say I'm _safe_ here?"

"Well, you're the only person the boss has ever tried to keep alive instead of the opposite, so yes, I think you'll be ok," he said, as he guided her back to the Joker's room. "Never thought I'd see the day he cared about anyone. I guess he's human after all, huh?"

Alice looked at him skeptically.

"Where is he now?"

Aaron smirked at her.

"Believe me, you don't want to know."


	13. Chapter 13

**What a surprise, a quick update! I'm on holidays and trying to write as much as I can, so here's a new chapter for you. I posted this as soon as I finished, so I'm sorry if there's any typos. Thanks again to my great reviewers, your words really encourage me to keep this story going.**

* * *

Alice woke up and for a moment she felt the happiness of oblivion. She thought she was in her apartment, in her old life. She almost jumped out of the bed, thinking she had overslept and that Bill would yell at her again for being late.

But then it dawned on her: she would probably never hear Bill's voice again. Or walk into her office. Or sit down on her desk and wait for David to stop by with coffee.

Those things were lost forever. This was what was left of her life now, she realized, as she took in the empty room.

Maybe it was the bed that brought the confusion. The last time she had woken up in one, in an actual bed, was in her apartment. When things were only starting to change. She was surprised, and a little ashamed, she had managed to sleep so soundly. She hadn't even had any dreams or nightmares, just a blank quiet sleep. She was grateful for that.

That man, Aaron, had made good on his promise the night before and after bringing her a few slices of pizza -which she devoured- had disappeared downstairs again. She hadn't seen anyone since, it seemed the second floor was off boundaries for everyone else.

She kept waiting for the Joker to show up. Not that she wanted him to, but it pissed her off. He had dragged her there, he had her staying in _his room_ ,he told her he could do whatever he pleased with her, and then he just _left_. He knew she would have nothing left to do but think about him and wait. He probably enjoyed it.

Alice stared at the ceiling for a while, lost in old memories, feeling the room soak into her body, or her body melting into it. There were no windows and she hadn't bothered turning on the lights, so the room was almost completely dark, she could just make out dim shapes and figures. It took a while for her to get up, finding no purpose in doing so, but she finally got tired of just laying down. She could at least look for Aaron and find out what kind of things went down in there, what were they planning to do with Gotham. Spending so much time alone, not even knowing if it was day or night, while the world could be exploding out there, was started to get to her. She needed to talk to someone, get her sense of reality back.

It wasn't until she turned on the lights that she noticed something was off. The room wasn't how she had left it last night. The floor was showered with discarded sheets of paper, crinkled notes thrown away chaotically all around the room. As if someone had spent the night scribbling away while she slept. She shuddered. How hadn't she heard him get in, walk around, right next to her? The other side of the bed had no fresh marks of paint and didn't seem used; he must have stayed awake all night. What had he been doing? She picked up one of the papers and tried to decipher its contents, but the writing was unreadable and she couldn't even guess what those numbers and drawings represented. It seemed to be a building, a diagram of it.

She quickly gave up, not before piling them up and storing them in one of the empty drawers of the closet. Making any sense of them would provide some entertainment for her later, as there was little or nothing else to do in there. She had already searched every corner of the room out of curiosity the night before, with the uncomfortable feeling of being a spy into someone else's life. She found nothing beside some clothes, a few knives, cards -loads of cards-, his grease paint and some books. She had stored one of the knives under the mattress -there was nowhere to carry it on her- and had grabbed a book.

It was all torn up around the edges and scribbled. _Notes from Underground_ , by Dostoyevsky. She remembered that one. He had it since their years at the orphanage. He used to read a lot back then, loose himself inside his books -most of them stolen from the few second-hand libraries in the Narrows-. She had opened it at a random chapter and read a few pages. The intensity of the narrator struck her as she went through his words, trying to read them with Jack's eyes.

" _I swear, gentlemen, that to be too conscious is an illnes -a real thorough- going illnes_ ," she read, and went on. The book was filled with unhappiness, resentment, loneliness.

" _...tearing and consuming myself till at last the bitterness turned into a sort of shameful accursed sweetness, and at last into positive real enjoyment! Yes, into enjoyment, into enjoyment! I insist upon that. I have spoken of this because I keep wanting to know for a fact whether other people feel this enjoyment? I will explain; the enjoyment was just from the too intense consciousness of one's own degradation; it was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier, that it was horrible, but that it could not be otherwise; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left for you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; or if you did wish to, even then you would do nothing; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into_ ".

Alice had closed the book and put it back in the bookcase, where it still rested. She hadn't been able to go on, as every word she read had Jack's voice in it. Or more precisely, the Joker's.

After putting away the scattered papers, she went to the bathroom -which was connected to the bedroom-. It was a simple, white space, with nothing but a bathtub, a toilet and a mirror. When she first saw the reflection in the mirror, it took her some time to recognize herself. She looked terrible. She decided a bath would help her feel a little bit normal again, help her think more clearly -even though she still only had that stained shirt to put on-. She filled the bath with hot water, discarded her clothes and sighed as the water touched and cleansed her skin. Alice slowly relaxed and closed her eyes, feeling her muscles unclench. The sound of the bedroom door quickly broke this state of calmness. Someone had come in. She quickly drew the shower curtains shut. It was useless, but she just stayed there, hidden behind a thin layer of fabric -it gave an illusion of safety, even though every movie she had seen proved her wrong-.

Alice heard the footsteps approaching, stopping in front of the bathroom, walking in...

She held her breath.

" _Found you_ ," said the Joker, drawing the curtains that hid her from his sight, as if on a game of hide and seek.

Alice blushed and tried to cover herself as much as she could, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Did you sleep well?" he added, looking at her unashamedly.

"Yes," she answered softly, and paused for a second. "You didn't, though."

"Had things to do."

"Were did you go? What are you planning now?"

"Mmm.. You'll find out in its, uh, _due_ time. Don't be impatient," he said, sitting down on the bathtub and finally looking away. "I brought you some clean clothes, they're in the suitcase next to the bed, in case you want to change into something more comfortable. They should fit, their yours after all."

"Where did you...?"

"We paid a visit to your apartment."

"Oh. Thank you," she mumbled. Although that only confirmed she was here for the long run, she thought with dread.

A strange silence followed her words, as if there wasn't any need to talk anymore. What could she possibly say that she hadn't said before? She was past trying to convince him of letting her go. When she looked up at him again, she noticed he was staring at her. Something in his eyes confused her. He leaned over and touched her cheek, softly, as if she would break under any more pressure. She let her eyelids drop. His hand then wondered through her face, her eyes, her lips, and then brushed like a comb through her hair. It descended through her neck, wondered through her shoulder, down her arm, grasping her hand underwater. And then, as soon as it had come, that sweet strange moment was gone. When she opened her eyes again, he had already turned around.

"Finish your bath, I need to get some sleep. You can go downstairs if you're hungry or bored. They will be keeping an eye on you, so don't try anything funny," he said, and then added, looking back with an unreadable look, "If you play nice, I might let you in on a little _secret_."

Those last words left her feeling anxious. She didn't know if she was ready for more surprises.

* * *

Gordon would always stand behind Harvey Dent, he believed in him. But in this particular subject, he had always hoped to prove the District Attorney wrong: he couldn't trust his men anymore.

They had been looking for Ramirez since last night, she was nowhere to be found. There was no trace of Alice either. With a little more investigation they had discovered all of Ramirez's mother's bills had been paid by an anonymous contributor. Why hadn't he listened? He had been blinded by his pride in his unit, in himself. Now, because of him, that girl was missing again.

He sat once more in Gotham General Hospital. His life was one big waiting room these days and he was dying for a few minutes outside and a cigarette. But before he got a chance to escape for a while, a nurse approached him.

"Commissioner? The doctor says you can go in now, follow me. He's still asleep but it seems they managed to stabilize him."

Gordon nodded and got up.

"Hey Jared, wake up! You're here on duty, not to sleep."

The police officer woke up with a start and jumped up nervously. He really had to choose his men better, it seemed he was not only surrounded by liars, but also by slackers.

They followed the nurse inside. It was like any other hospital room: white walls, single bed, a TV, a window. But this one had no flowers or cards, no signs of life whatsoever.

"You have kept this a secret, right? No one knows about this."

"No one, sir, as you told us" answered the nurse.

"If this gets out to the press... If they find out he's alive, he won't be for very long, you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you think he's going to wake up soon?"

"We don't know, sir. He's in a much better state now than when we found him, but this can take days, maybe weeks. He may never wake up. It's all up to luck right now, how his body responds to the treatment."

"Let me know as soon as he has woken up. I want to be the first person to talk to him. He's the only one who may hold a clue to find her, the only one who can help us understand."

"We'll let you know as soon as there's any change."

"Thank you. That will be all. Jared," he said, turning to look at his officer, "listen to me carefully. You _have never_ seen this man, this man is _dead_ , just as the papers say. You heard me?"

Jared quickly nodded.

"Now let's hope reality doesn't prove them right."


	14. Chapter 14

**Back from the dead with a new chapter. Not so much Joker in this one, had to make room for someone else, but I promise the next one will be all about him. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Where was everybody?

Alice looked around the empty room, expecting someone to jump at her any time soon. It didn't make any sense. Had they all gone away? Was she finally free?

The Joker had left her alone a while ago, he wasn't in the room when she finally got out of the bathroom. So she put on some clothes -trying to forget the fact that they had come from her apartment, the one they had broken in to- and followed his advice. She was bored and hungry, she might as well go downstairs.

 _They will be keeping an eye on you_ , he had said. But there was no one there. There were no men playing cards, no weird looking guys watching TV or sharpening their knives. Just silence and an empty room.

And suddenly, a noise, coming from the kitchen.

 _Don't go there. Just walk out the front door while you still can._

But things were never so simple. There was bound to be men waiting outside, guarding the exit. They wouldn't let her walk out just like that.

Another noise.

Her curiosity got the best of her and she walked towards the kitchen. Why had she left the knife upstairs? She paused right before going in, steadied her hand and opened the door that separated from whoever was inside.

She recognized immediately that red hair in front of her and sighed with frustration.

"You really are my babysitter, aren't you?"

Aaron barely looked back while he opened the fridge and grabbed a beer.

"I see you finally decided to come down."

"Where has everybody gone?"

"They're on a mission, one which I missed because I was on _Alice duty_ ", he said, smiling bitterly. "Want one?", he added, signaling the beer.

Alice shook her head silently. She couldn't really figure this guy out, but apparently she was stuck with him while she was there. Her hopes about running away were gone now.

"No, thanks. Do you have anything left to eat?" she said, as she felt her stomach growling.

"You can search the fridge if you like. There must be something edible there."

Her face must have showed her doubts about it, because he quickly added laughing:

"We also eat, you know? There are some eggs I think. I'm no cook but I can manage some scrambled eggs."

"Don't worry, I can cook for myself," she said, as she searched the fridge.

She needed it, actually. To do something for herself, even if it was just cooking. It made her feel more in control of things which she clearly wasn't. A false control. Aaron just watched her in silence while she cooked, leaning on a wall and drinking his beer. When she was finished, he disappeared back into the main room and told her to follow him. They both sat down in a big couch near the TV and Alice ate in silence. She noticed with surprise Aaron was rolling a joint nonchalantly.

"The boss never lets us smoke when he's around. He says it distracts us and leaves us unguarded." Aaron looked back at her. "So don't tell him, will you?"

She looked back into her plate, playing with her food.

"He never liked drugs... He always told me they made his mind slow down and made him feel vulnerable," she said, remembering. "Why give away control willingly, he would ask."

She realized too soon she had said too much.

She looked back up and caught Aaron's eyes staring at her.

"Huh, didn't change much it seems." He looked at Alice curiously, examining her. "Don't worry. I'd already guessed you had a history together. I bet it would be interesting to hear, that story of yours."

Alice put her plate down on the table, not hungry any more.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. " He lit his joint, blowing the smoke into the room. "I can tell you mine, if you like. It's not a nice one, I warn you. But since we're going to be spending some time together, we can get to know each other, right?"

She looked back at him, relieved he had let go so easily. Although she anticipated Aaron was telling the truth about his story. It wouldn't have a happy ending if it ended here.

Aaron smiled, rested his head on the couch and closed his eyes as he began to talk.

"I haven't thought about my past for a while, let's see where to start... I always liked telling stories. But when I was a kid, my life wasn't much fun. So I made up most of them, I could fool anyone. I was a master liar, but also a writer in a way. Like the boss with his scars, only his stories are slightly darker... But enough has happened in my life since then to add anything more. Life has a way to surpass imagination." Aaron opened his eyes and looked at her. She was already hooked up in his voice, her defensive stance had given away to intrigued eyes. "You have a look that reminds me of a certain time in my life, you know? A castaway look. I can start from there. That's the look I had when I met him for the first time. Back then I already had nothing and nowhere to go. He told me I could follow him and that's what I've been doing for the last five years. But I should start from before or you won't understand."

"Understand what?" asked Alice.

"Why I admire him," he said. "Why I'm here, fighting for the Joker, risking my life for him, following his orders, telling my story to you. He found me in a very strange time in my life, a very dark time. He gave me a cause when I had already given up. When people had already given up on me, even my own family. I ran away at the age of 16, there was no room in my Christian home for a boy like me. A boy who preferred to escape mass and secretly make out with his neighbor while everybody was at church. His name was Tom, I still remember him. When they finally caught on to what was happening, he was terrified of what his parents would do to him, so he told everybody it was my idea. My family was furious. They wanted to keep me hidden in the house, thought I was a disgrace to the family. They even tried to have me committed, _cured_ ," he said, laughing. "So I ran away. I survived doing odd jobs here and there, it wasn't so bad at first. It wasn't until I was 18 that I started having difficulties holding a job. One day I would wake up perfectly fine, feeling great, and the next I couldn't get out of bed. Some days I felt like I could climb a mountain, run a marathon, do anything I wanted. Others I wanted to kill myself. There was no middle ground. I also got obsessed with little things. Once I chased a cat through the whole neighborhood and cried when I couldn't find it; it wasn't even mine. I woke up in more beds than I can remember, always with a different random man. I couldn't keep my jobs, they would always fire me after a while thinking I was on drugs or crazy.

One day I finally ended up in a hospital, after my roommate found me in our bathroom with my wrists cut open. Bipolar disorder, they doctors said. I would get better, if I took the right pills. The problem was, I had no money or any way to get it without those pills. So I did the only thing I could think of, I started working the streets. Nobody would fire me there for being too loud, or late because I couldn't get out of bed, or for flirting with too many clients. And it paid better too. So I got used to the creepy old men that usually came looking for guys like me and I managed to buy my pills. Things got a little better, despite being worn out most of the time because of the pills."

Aaron suddenly interrupted his story and took another drag at his joint, stretching his body and getting more comfortable in the couch. Alice was inching forward, knowing that wasn't the end of it. Aaron looked amused when he noticed her silent concentrated state. He continued.

"But one day, the brief balance I'd managed to find was suddenly broken. All because of one of those creepy old men that went around looking for young boys like me. My uncle. I saw him one day, driving down the street with his window down. At first he didn't see me, or didn't recognize me. It wasn't until he stopped and started talking to one guy, trying to get him inside the car, that he noticed me sitting on a doorstep close by. His face went white, then red. He ran away as I smirked and say hi, but I knew he would be back. I knew he wouldn't forgive me for knowing his secret. He was the most homophobic man in my family, now I understood why. As I expected, he came back the next day. This time with some of his friends. He just went around the block, with a threatening look in his face, and left. The same thing happened for a few more days. It was a threat, I thought he would stop at that. But one day he didn't leave like the rest, he stopped the car in front of me and told me to get in. Of course I wanted to run, but his friends' guns convinced me not to. He drove through empty streets, each one darker than the one before and they joked around while I silently panicked. At one point he stopped, got out and told me to do the same, his friends stayed inside. He grabbed his gun with one hand and my arm with the other, and we walked down a small alley. He asked me if I knew why I was there and before I could answer he told me I was a disgrace to the family, that I had already ruined my life and wouldn't ruin his with my lies. I didn't say anything, I didn't cry, I didn't beg. I just stood there, until he finished ranting. Then I just smiled and told him I had one last thing I wanted to do, before he did what he came here to do. Before he could ask, I was down on my knees, fumbling with his belt. He looked surprised at first, then he just laughed. A whore, that's what he called me. He unzipped his pants and said that if I tried anything funny he would kill me real slow instead of with a merciful shot through my head. He was cautious in the beginning, but then he closed his eyes and let his guard down. That's when I took out the knife I always stash in my jacket, hidden away in an inside pocket. He never saw it coming. First I went for his dick, almost cut if off in one strike. Then, without losing time, I went for his belly, stuck the knife really deep and twisted it good. His scream echoed through the tall buildings surrounding us. I held his gun with one hand and finally buried the bloodied blade into his neck, silencing his scream. His friends must have thought it was me, the one howling, because they didn't come looking for my uncle until I was already gone, running away without looking back.

They got me in the end. The police came looking for me. Apparently the official story was that my poor dear uncle had been concerned for his nephew when he found out he was whoring himself in the streets and went to help, only to be tricked and robbed by him in a dark alley. That's what his friends said at least. You see, I forgot to tell you, my uncle was a cop, so were his friends. Their story was the only story they wanted to hear in the police station, the only truth. When they found out I was bipolar, it only helped to prove their case, it didn't matter to them that I was taking my pills. They also didn't ask what we were doing in that alley either. They locked me up in an asylum, one for the criminally insane. My parents of course never went to see me, they just sent a letter once. They wrote that I should try to find God and pray for forgiveness, to ask him to cure me of my illnesses. I didn't write back and they never wrote again. I spent two years in that place. I'd rather not talk about the things I saw, but just let me tell you, being a whore was nothing compared to living in there. A man was murdered almost every day, guards too. It was hard just to stay alive.

But one day, someone broke in. We all wanted to break out, no one had imagined someone would want to break in. He blew up half of the building's left wall, took down all the guards in his way. He looked like a nightmarish clown, I remember thinking that. He just stood there, amid the chaos, in perfect calm, and made his announcement. _You are all free!_ _Now, go out there and show Gotham the monsters they've been keeping locked away._ Many prisoners escaped through the walls almost immediately, but a lot of us stayed, entranced by that man. The Joker generates a certain fascination, like it or not. To those who stayed behind, he told us we could follow him an be part of something great. I had forgotten what something great meant, what it was to have a cause. But when I saw him I knew I had to go with him. He was the man who would tear down the lies and hypocrisies I'd had to put up with in my past. The world had been waiting for someone like him."

"You don't know him," said Alice, interrupting him. "He's no hero. You're fooling yourselves. He doesn't have a plan, he wants to destroy everything in his path to nowhere. Don't you see he'll use all of you and discard you when he's done?"

"You think I don't know that?" said Aaron, not affected by her answer. "I'm not afraid to die, I made my choice that day. Of all the people that followed him that day, I'm the only one standing now. Probably not for long."

"Then why don't you leave? You don't have to follow him into his death."

"I can't, even if I wanted to. We can't just walk away when we're done. The Joker is a lifetime commitment. Besides, where would I go?"

"It doesn't matter where. You can make a new place for yourself. You could start over again."

"People like us, we don't fit out there anymore. My eyes are too open now, I couldn't go back to what people consider a normal life. Things won't ever get easier, they're already too broken to be fixed."

"You sound like him."

"How?"

"Resentful, angry."

"I'm not, not anymore. I just see the truth."

Alice sighed and gave up. She was going nowhere with this. Not with Aaron, not with the Joker. They were too convinced there was nothing else left to do, that their destruction was inevitable.

"Can I have some?"

She gestured the joint. Aaron chuckled and gave it to her. She took a long drag.

"You may deny it, but this is where you're meant to be," he said.

"I have nothing to do here, this fight is his alone and it can only end badly."

"You may not approve his actions and I don't know exactly what went down between you two, but I bet you understand him more than you understand the outside world. Following him makes more sense than trying to live like nothing is wrong, playing dumb. Besides, you think they'll take you back just like that? You've killed a man."

Alice stared at him surprised. _How did he know?_

"The police might try to keep it in silence, but we hear everything that goes on inside. You were the one who killed the Scarecrow. I don't blame you, he had it coming anyway..."

"He was a monster."

"But then you disappeared with the Joker, what do you think people are going to think?"

"I don't care what people think. I know who I am."

"People can make anybody's life difficult. What's your rush to go out there again? Just stay and watch this revolution unravel. You have front row tickets."

Alice didn't want to listen to him. She had tried not to think about Crane's eyes, staring at her while he bled out on the floor. Or David's unmoving body and his silence. Or a defenseless Bruce Wayne, dressed in a suit that looked too big for him to carry around. Everything seemed absurd, a bad joke. Maybe she should just let go and see where that took her, like Aaron said. All of this exceeded her, after all.

"I _wish_ I had front row tickets, I'm just backstage. I never know what's going on," she looked back at Aaron, trying to read an answer out of him. "So tell me... Where have they gone? What is the Joker really planning?"

Aaron didn't give away anything, he just looked down at his watch, checking the time. He might have told her his story, but she didn't fool herself. He was still loyal to the Joker, he wouldn't tell her more than what he was allowed to. So she was surprised when he turned on the TV in front of them and said: "Find out for yourself".

He put on the news channel. She moved closer, as to take every single detail in. She realized she didn't even know what day it was.

They were interviewing a smug looking man she didn't recognize at all. They said his name was Coleman Reese. The headline read: _The true identity of Batman revealed._

"Pay attention. The real show is about to start," Aaron whispered, smirking at the scene.

They suddenly announced they were receiving a phone call, the reporter seemed confused.

" _Who is this_?"

There was a brief silence.

" _I had a vision... of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring."_

"Oh God...," said Alice.

 _"I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital_."

"He'll be dead in less than an hour. Why the hell is he doing this? Didn't he _want_ to know his identity?" exclaimed Alice confused.

She didn't want to admit it, but she wished they got to this Coleman Reese _fast_.

"He might say he wants Batman dead, but the boss has become really obsessed with Gotham's underground hero. Maybe it's because things are too easy without him. Playing without him would be boring."

"Harvey Dent turned himself in as the Batman so he would stop killing people, and _now_ he doesn't want to know?"

"Oh, he wants to know. But if everybody knows, Batman stops existing. He only exists in the shadows, as someone that is above the law. If he has a name, an identity to judge for his actions, his freedom disappears and so does his strength. The Joker wants to see him fall, but I think he wants to be personally responsible for it. He wants to be the one to brake him."

The TV studio's barely contained control was shattered when people started trying to break in. The image was lost. She quickly switched to another channel, needing to keep up with what was happening. They were talking about hospitals now, about evacuating them. She remembered the discarded drawings in his room. Now everything made sense, but she didn't want it to. Was he really capable of bombing a hospital? Was he so far gone?

"Was _this_ what you meant when you said he would do great things?"

"It's not about the ones who die today. It's about waking people up. If you don't make a big splash, nobody will pay attention."

"You're as lost as he is if you justify this in any way."

"If it makes you feel better, they will probably get everyone out before any bomb blows up. It's fear what he's going for, more than pointless deaths."

Alice didn't answer and just continued to listen to the news anchor. She didn't want to say she was relieved, it didn't change the fact that all of this didn't accomplish anything.

She watched as the TV replayed his face in a horrible video he had sent, torturing a Batman copycat. They reporters talked about the never ending terror. Her fingers itched with impotence. She prayed Gordon was capable of getting everybody out in time.

"Your _cause_ reeks of death," she said, staring at Aaron accusingly and putting a distance from him.

They weren't friends. He was one of her kidnappers. The same ones who were about to kill innocent people on a whim.

Aaron turned off the TV and walked back to the kitchen.

"Every revolution does," he said, as he walked away.

* * *

"Everybody move! We need to evacuate every hospital in the city _now._ The priority is Gotham General. You, you and you, come with me," cried out Gordon.

"Where are we going sir?" asked one of the cops.

"To get Reese. Jared, come here," he said, pulling the man to the side when he spotted him between the chaos. "You listen to me and you listen well. That man you saw yesterday, the one you _didn't see_ , you have to make sure to get him out of there. The others will keep an eye on Dent, you have your own task. If you don't do this, it's too likely he'll go missing after this. Keep him safe, you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Be careful, we'll try to contain the situation, but if the Joker wants to blow up a hospital I doubt we can stop him. Make sure you get out on time."

Gordon jumped into the police car, speeding up to get to Reese before someone killed him. He called the hospital for the last time, but there was nobody to answer his call. He sighed with frustration. He couldn't deal with everything at once. He dedicated a last thought to the kid, hoping he would be alright, and then concentrated in moving forward and ignoring the ticking clock.

* * *

David woke up with a silent scream in his mouth.

His head hurt like it was splintered inside. His breaths came out fast and erratic.

 _Was he free? Had they saved them?_

He looked around the hospital and hoped the worst had already passed.

 _Where was Alice?_

He needed to know. He tried to stand up but the pain pushed him back down.

 _Where was Alice?_

He could hear noises and shouts outside. Something was happening.

 _Where was Alice?_

He remembered Crane. He remembered the torture, the screams. His screams. He'd also heard hers.

 _Where was Alice?_

Someone came in. It was a nurse, pushing the door open with her back while she carried a tray in her hands. She put it down on a table and closed the door. She locked it. David had still to see her face.

When she turned around, David's face changed abruptly into a shocked and furious grimace.

" _You."_

"Ooh, look who's decided to wake up. I heard you had been sleeping for a couple of days, I was _so concerned_ , I had to come and see you. Didn't bring Alice I'm afraid, she's a little sensitive and I don't want to get her more upset."

"You bastard. What have you done to her? If you touch her I swear I'll..."

David gasped in pain as he tried again to stand up.

"You'll, uh, _what_ exactly _?_ Poor Sleeping Beauty, you're not jealous are you? After all, you know she doesn't care about _you_ , right? _Any_ way, it's good to see you up. I was just in the neighborhood, so I came to take care of one little thing before I left."

The Joker pointed his gun to him.

 _It was just his luck. He had woken up just to be put to sleep forever_. David didn't flinch, didn't hide away. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"The real reason you're here is because you know that whatever you do, Alice will never love you. She hates you, as the rest of the world. You can kill me, but you'll still rot in jail alone."

"Tssk, you speak more than you should, you know that, _David_? Too bad there's not a single interesting word coming out of your mouth."

He removed the gun's safety and slowly pressed on the trigger.

"It's nothing personal, you just messed around with the wrong girl. And I'm quite possessive when it comes to my things" he said, driving his gun into David's temple.

"You're a sick bastard," said David.

He couldn't stand it, knowing he was useless. He was leaving Alice alone with him. Who knew what he would do to her, he couldn't end up like this. He closed his eyes with frustration.

"Any last words?"

"Rot in hell."

"Mmm... Boring. How about _cheese_?"

"What...?"

David opened his eyes blinking in confusion under the light of a flash.

" _There_ we go. All done," said the Joker, putting away his phone. "What? I said I had to take care of a little thing. You didn't think I was actually going to, uh, _kill_ you, did you?"

His insane laugh made David shudder. What the hell was this monster thinking?

"Oh David, you make me laugh," he said, wiping away a tear. A second later, his tone dropped suddenly. " _You're not worth my bullets, really_. You don't matter, alive _or_ death. The only reason I waste my time with you is because I promised Alice a surprise. She doesn't really know you're alive, so I'll bring her your photograph as a souvenir. By the way, you make the silliest faces when you're facing death."

David just stared at him in bewilderment, not knowing if this was some kind of miracle or nightmare.

"Well, I have to get going. Lots of places to be, hospitals to blow up. Good luck escaping this place alive," said The Joker, as he covered his face with a white mask. "Be careful, maybe the next time we see each other I won't be in such a good mood."

The Joker disappeared where he came from, David was left alone. Somehow, having accepted his death for a second, he felt lighter, dizzy. He was filled by a strange calmness, a sort of freedom.

What to do when you've already been taken for dead twice, once by others, once by yourself?

He only knew one thing: he was going to free Alice. And kill The Joker once and for all.


	15. Chapter 15

She watched the men walk into the building, laughing, celebrating. Her knuckles were white, her muscles tense. The laughter blended with the concerned voices that still came from the TV, where they repeated over and over the images of the explosion. She hadn't been able to move away from it. Aaron had told her they had probably gotten everybody out. Probably. She didn't know that, she didn't care. She just wanted to punch every smug grin from every face she saw coming through the door. The smell of sweat and powder invaded the place. She thought of her grandma in her last days, dying in a hospital bed. She imagined what would have happened if that had been today, in Gotham General.

And then she saw him crossing the door, not laughing, not even smiling, but with a smug look in his eyes.

All her frustration, anger and impotence fell on him, as he locked his eyes on hers. He didn't say her name, he didn't speak, but she knew as he went upstairs that he expected her to follow him. She wanted nothing more than to do the opposite, just to spite him. But what was the alternative? Stay there, with those men? Aaron was nowhere to be seen and she had already spotted too many eyes staring at her in funny ways. For a brief second, she got a glimpse of the outside through the front door, before a massive looking guy closed it behind him. It was already dark, a cold autumn night, but she felt a strange heat inside her, a burning energy she hadn't felt for a long time. As if she had finally woken up from a dream that had lasted days. Alice realized at last that she was awake, she was alive and she was in the center of a hurricane. She had to move from her spot, abandon her stillness, even if it meant leaving the fragile illusion of peace, she couldn't just be a witness to the outer madness. She had to jump in that madness to stop it. She climbed the steps two at a time, leaving behind the pitiful men downstairs, drinking and celebrating their war against the world. She needed to talk to Jack.

The hall was dark, nobody had turn on the lights and Alice couldn't find them. She felt her way through the walls, looking for his room. It wasn't too hard to find, there was a thin line of light surrounding the doorframe. He would be there, waiting for her.

But when she finally opened the door, she found the room empty. She took a couple of confused steps inside, when suddenly she felt someone move. The door shut closed behind her. Before she could turn around he already had dragged her back and pinned her down against the wall. The Joker stood there for a while, leaning on her as if he was just casually resting there.

"You seem angry."

She moved her hand push him away, but he was faster and pulled it back down.

"Get off me."

He moved closer. She could feel his breath on her and the smell of powder mixed with his own. He was dangerously close. He leaned over her and whispered in her ear.

"Don't be mad, I played nice today."

Alice frowned at him.

"You destroyed Gotham's largest hospital. How is that playing nice?"

"I didn't _kill_ anyone today. Doesn't that count?" he said, as a kid defending himself from a scowling. "The building was empty when it went down in flames. It was sort of disappointing, all those fireworks and no one to watch them up close."

Alice struggled to free herself, but he only increased the pressure on her.

"Just calm down. What, do you think I'm going to _attack_ you? You should know me better," he said, angrily.

Alice stopped fighting.

"I don't know what you're capable of."

Jack sighed and released her.

"Still as distrustful as ever, I see."

He moved to the bed and grabbed the book she had been reading before. He looked at it with familiarity before putting it back on the shelf.

"Distrustful? You gave me no reasons to trust you," she said, her voice slowly rising as she moved towards him. "You destroyed my life, you tried to kill the few honorable people left in this city, the ones I admired. Because of you..." Alice lost her voice. "If you hadn't showed up in my life again I wouldn't have _killed_ a man."

Jack turned around to look at her. His dark eyes seemed to hold a dark warning.

"That wasn't _my_ fault. _You_ did that on your own. How did it feel, huh? _Tell me_ ," he said, coming closer. "To pull the trigger on dear Dr. Crane."

She didn't back away, held her ground defiantly.

"It felt _good_ , didn't it? It felt right. But I wonder, how can you condemn me so much for the people I kill, being a killer yourself? Isn't it a little, uh, _hypocrite_?"

"It's not the same."

"How is it not the same? You think Crane deserved it, is that it? You think it was _righteous_? Did you do it thinking of _justice_?"

"You know very well what kind of man he was. He was a killer, a torturer, he..."

"He was the man who had killed _your friend_ , who tortured _you_. If that boyfriend of yours was of any use, it was because his death pushed you to take control. You pulled that trigger because you _wanted_ Crane dead. Justice had nothing to do with it, neither the fact that he deserved it or not. Who is to say someone deserves anything? There is no _divine retribution_ , or _justice_. Justice is what we make of it, with our bare hands," he said, with his fist in the air.

Alice couldn't tell him about Batman, she couldn't say Crane would have killed him if she wasn't there. Not only because she didn't want him to dig too much into that, but because she doubted it was the only reason she had really pulled the trigger that night.

"You're right, I wanted him dead. But I did what I did because I was pushed to the edge. If everyone started killing because of their own sense justice, the world would be chaos. People have different definitions of justice, of right and wrong."

"And who gets to tell what's _true_ justice? The corrupt police? The same one who brought you here?"

Alice didn't answer.

"You know how I knew it was you, the one who shot him?" he said, licking his lips anxiously. "The police record said that they spotted Batman leaving the, uh, premises when they got there. They only found you, unconscious, Crane's dead body and no signs of the gun that had killed him. But _I knew the truth_. There was no way Batman could've done it, he doesn't have it in him. Do you know why? Because he's too much of a fucking coward! That thick head of his can't think outside of his narrow concept of _justice_. So he delivers the criminals to the cops, even though he knows they will eventually get out. He changes _nothing_. Because he's too afraid to get his hands dirty or dig too deep into Gotham's filth and find out it's _endless_. He's afraid he'll maybe enjoy hunting people down, that it will get too personal. As if his weird _vigilante_ fetish wasn't for his own pleasure. He's afraid of having too much power, so he makes up this abstract concept of justice that is as unreal as God and as corrupt as the police or the law. And he feels good, because he has limits that keep him on track, sane, when he puts on that costume, he thinks it's different from mine. But look at Crane, he locked him in once only for him to escape and torture you in less than a year. What kind of bullshit justice is that? Your precious Harvey Dent, the one you admire so much while you despise me, could he lock the mob away? No, he played by the book instead of abandoning his rules to get things done."

"You were the one who didn't give him a chance! How can you say all this when you don't even try to make things right! You've given up, you've already lost. At least they still try!"

"If it wasn't me, the mob would've sent someone else. Someone who didn't burn all their money and chased them down one by own when the job was done. I destroyed the mob in a few _weeks_. What did they do, the so said heroes? Nothing."

"You've become more dangerous than the mob. You're not here for money, you're here to destroy everyone."

"I'm just freeing them from the rules and authorities they always knew, the law of the few over the many. If this city ends up destroying itself because of it, it means it was never meant to exist in the first place," he said, decidedly. "You say I'm a killer, but I hardly kill. You say I made you a killer, but _you_ were the one who pulled the trigger. I just present other options where before there was certainty. Maybe you should start asking yourself what value do the words _hero_ or _villain_ have nowadays. Things are never black and white, and definitely not what they seem."

He had moved closer and was now standing right in front of her. In the dull light of the room she could hardly notice the washed away grease paint, nor his twisted scars. Jack's burning eyes looked down at her, as if with an unspoken demand.

"I need to show you something. Check my coat, one of the inside's pocket."

Alice watched him with confusion and curiosity, but did as he said. His coat was hanging from a chair on her right. She felt shivers running down her spine as she sensed his stare on her back. She found a phone hidden inside the coat.

"That's the one," said the Joker, from behind her. "There's a picture there. It shouldn't be very hard to find, it's the only one there is."

Jack scrutinized her while she looked at David's photograph. His eyes were closed in the picture, but his expression gave him away. He was alive. Alice couldn't let herself believe it was real.

"It's not a trick. Crane didn't finish him off, he was in Gotham General today. He was in a coma, but it seems he woke up. The police were hiding him, they thought I would come after him. They were naive enough to believe I couldn't get pass their secrets," he said smirking.

Alice turned around and opened her mouth without a sound coming out. Her dry lips trembled as she tried to get her words past them.

"What... What did you do with him?"

She looked back at the picture. He looked scared. Defiant and angry, but really terrified. _God, David. Why did you ever have to meet me?_

"Please... Please, Jack, tell me you didn't..." Alice couldn't finish.

He took his sweet time to answer and every second that passed she felt a new crack rip her inside.

"Jack!" she said, throwing herself at him, grabbing him by his shirt. "Tell me you didn't touch him!"

He only smirked and slowly leaned forward, holding her arms against him.

"I didn't," he whispered, inches away from her face. "I didn't touch a hair in his silly little head. Just gave him a scare, that's all. I heard they got him out of the hospital just in time."

Alice breathed out and closed her eyes. _He was fine. He was really going to be alright._ She felt a weight being lifted from her shoulders but at the same time it was hard to think straight and she felt a hole inside her chest. She looked back at Jack, his face unreadable.

"Why? Why did you let him go? I thought you wanted him dead."

The Joker sighed, while he seized a solitary tear falling through her cheek with one of his fingers.

"I do. He really is a predictable, dull, pretty face idiot. I can't believe you would choose someone like him to replace me, really. I thought you liked me for my smarts as well as my charming looks," he said, as he winked at her.

He seemed amused at her puzzlement.

"Then why..."

"I know he's no threat to me _alive_. The _real_ reason you couldn't get him out of that head of yours" he said, tapping her head with his finger, "was because you thought you had killed him. He was more dangerous to me as a ghost. You may say you moved on, you might want to believe that, but I know the truth and deep inside you do too. I waited this long, I can wait some more, but you'll finally realize who you really want. You might act like a goody two shoes now, but I bet you were dying of boredom with Saint David and were as excited as I was when we were _reunited_. After all, you _did_ kiss me back in that alley you know," he said, with a smirk.

Alice wanted to laugh for a second, she didn't know if it was because of her relief knowing David was really safe, at least for now, or because of the strangeness of the Joker flirting with her right then, despite it all. _You had to give it to him, his confidence never faltered, not once._ But she didn't laugh, she wanted to understand.

"I'm curious... Is it really worth the trouble? Trying to have me by your side, despite me fighting you over and over. What will happen if I never give in?"

The Joker didn't falter at her words, probably expecting them. He just smiled defiantly, as if taking on the challenge.

"I'm a patient man. And a stubborn one, I told you I don't give up _._ You should have known that when you decided to be with me back then. We made a vow to stay together and I'm not ready to give it up just yet."

"I didn't _decide_ anything, it just happened. I think none of us had a say in it, us being together. It happened naturally. How could we have known what would happen?" she said, lost in thought. "Have you ever wondered..." she whispered, feeling she shouldn't wander through this train of conversation.

"What?"

"What would have happened if I had convinced you to stay that day. If there had been no fire and we hadn't been apart for seven years. Maybe we both would be different today."

Jack's face darkened, his smirk gone.

"What's gone is gone. There's no point in dwelling in maybes. This is who I am now," he said, pointing to his scars.

"You're still Jack. Scars are just scars, people are more than that," she said.

Alice didn't know what she was trying to accomplish with her words. She knew it was an almost impossible chance, to fix what was broken in him. But she realized that that "almost" gave her hopes, despite herself. He had spared David because of her. If she couldn't leave that place, could she at least change something from within? She was in the center of the hurricane after all. She could try to _tame_ the hurricane. If she earned his trust, maybe she could convince him to spare innocent lives, try to bring back his old self. And if not, there was always the chance he would lower his guard and increase her chances of escaping. But to do that, she would have to risk getting closer to him. And she was afraid where that would take her...

He ignored her words and moved away, walking towards the bed.

"It's late and I haven't had a good night's sleep in days," he said, taking off his shirt and leaning over the bed. "You can stay there standing in the dark or you can join me," he added, signaling the space beside him. "I warn you, if you try to sleep on the floor I'll drag you here anyway."

Alice went red. They had already shared the bed last night, but she was asleep when he arrived. _You've slept with him a million times before, why feel ashamed now?_

She walked around the other side of the bed and laid down facing the wall, without removing any of her clothes. She had to hold back her anger, as she heard him laughing next to her, muttering something about her prudeness, and she went rigid when she felt an arm circling her waist. Getting closer to him was easier said than done.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

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